Be My Escape
by Fairykind
Summary: After Loki is captured by the Avengers, he returns to Asgard to face Odin, who strips him of his powers and exiles him to Earth. During his time there, Loki experiences everything from shopping trips to crazed fangirls to just some plain old brotherly bonding. Previously called "Forgiven." I have no clue why I changed the title.
1. There's a First Time For Everything

**Author's note: So I wrote half of this whilst waiting for my sister to finish a painting class, and the other half during a dull furniture-shopping trip. All in all, I wrote this because I was bored, so sorry if it stinks. Yes, I know the beginning is super emotional, but it gets better, I promise.**

Loki was weak. His head throbbed and his vision clouded. Ever since Stark had hit him with something from his Iron Man suit, Loki hadn't been able to see clearly, much less keep a straight train of thought. He felt his arms being pulled behind him and something clamped over his wrists. A second later, he was picked up and slung over someone's shoulder like a bag of potatoes. His vision cleared just long enough for him to see that it was Thor who carried him.

Loki had an urge to fight back and escape Thor's grip, but he couldn't. His eyelids felt as if they weighed a thousand pounds. The last thing he remembered before losing conciousness was being tossed into that horrible cage again.

Loki awoke to the sound of two people conversing. Through his muffled hearing, he could tell at least one of them was male. He heard his name. Painfully, he forced himself into a sitting position. He hadn't remembered being this subdued by Stark's suit before. Maybe he's made improvements, Loki thought. Loki pressed his hands against his eyes and sighed loudly.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty."

Loki groaned. Tony Stark was the last person he wanted to talk to.

"What do you want?" Loki snapped.

"Rawr. Just trying to make conversation," Tony replied. Loki scowled. He noticed the other person in the room, who had been previously talking to Tony, was Thor.

"How are you feeling, Loki?" Thor asked. Loki didn't reply. Instead, he just stared at the wall through the clear walls of his cage.

"Speak, please. I want to talk with you," Thor said, a concerned frown drawing his eyebrows together. Loki sighed.

"I don't want to talk to you," he responded softly.

"Then I will do the talking," Thor countered. "I know what you have done is wrong. But trust me, Father will forgive you if you ask. He loves you, Loki. I love you."

Loki lowered his aching head. He could practically feel Thor's eyes staring at him.

"How," he hissed, "could anyone love me?"

Thor continued staring. "You are a wonderful person. You are just…misguided, brother, that's all."

"Misguided! I nearly took over Midgard. Not to mention, I betrayed you. I betrayed everyone," Loki argued, his tone rather harsh.

"I do not blame you, brother. I understand your anger," Thor comforted.

"I am not your brother," Loki spat.

"Perhaps not. But I love you as though you were. We grew up together. I know you almost as well as I know myself," Thor said.

"I have lived my entire life in your shadow. No one cares about me," Loki lamented.

"I care," Thor replied. He looked about ready to cry. "Father and Mother care."

Loki didn't trust himself to speak. He felt his throat tighten up and he knew he had a risk of crying if he opened his mouth, and he would never live it down if he cried in front of Thor. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Stark silently exit the room.

"Come home, Loki," Thor urged.

"How can I? Everyone there hates me." Loki managed to whisper.

"They do not hate you. They mourn for you."

"Leave me. I need to think," said Loki. Somewhat reluctantly, Thor stood and followed Tony out the door. Loki watched until he was completely out of sight. He removed his helmet and laid it on the floor next to him. He buried his face in his hands, and for the first time in a long while, Loki cried.


	2. Oh, How Cliche

**Author's note: Yay! People actually like this! Thanks! Ok, next chapter will be better. I hope...**

Loki sat, silently listening to the storm outside. He had always loved the sound of rain. The thunder, though, reminded him of someone he'd rather not think about. Loki stood, clasped his hands behind his back, and began to pace. It helped him think. He thought back to his conversation with Thor the previous day.

Loki longed to return to Asgard, but he knew he couldn't. No matter what Thor said to him, Loki knew Frigga and Odin could never truly forgive him. He had betrayed them all. For what? A chance at being noticed? All he had wanted was for Odin to see that he could be just as good as Thor.

His entire life, Loki had known that Thor was favored over him. Now he knew why. Loki stopped his pacing and leaned his forehead against the wall of the cage. He suddenly became aware of another's presence in the room with him. Lifting his head, he saw that it was Thor.

"What now?" he asked, annoyed. Thor cleared his throat and stepped closer to Loki.

"I have spoken with Father. He has informed me that if you should agree to repent your wrongs, you shall recieve adequate punishment, but you shall also be forgiven. Eventually, you will be permitted to live freely in Asgard, but only under supervision," Thor said. Loki stared.

"You're making this up, aren't you, Thor?" he asked suspiciously. "It's all just a trick to get me to come home so you can lock me up in a smelly old cell and laugh at my failure."

"I would never laugh at you, unless you intend to be funny. I only want to be able to live like we did before all this madness," Thor argued.

"I don't think it could ever go back to the way it was, do you?" Loki spat, glaring venomously.

"I believe it could if you wanted, brother," Thor replied. Much against his liking, Loki could feel himself being convinced. The toes of his boots suddenly became extremely intriguing.

"I want to go home, Thor, I do," Loki said softly.

"Then why don't you?"

"I do not think I can face anyone there, ever again. Not after what I've done. They will never forget it, and I will always be remembered as the one who betrayed everyone," Loki explained, refusing to make eye contact with Thor.

"Care not about what the others may think. To me, you will always be my clever brother with a knack for getting himself into trouble," Thor said, a kind glow in his turquoise eyes. Loki felt himself smile slightly. He suddenly felt an urge to hug Thor. Lifting his face to gaze stradily at the blond man, Loki responded, "Alright, Thor, I will come home."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Walking close behind Thor, Loki followed his sort-of brother down the hallway that led to the majestic throne room. He kept his head down, staring at the floor. Everyone he passed stared or whispered urgently to those standing beside them. Loki shot a few of them a cold scowl, which shut them up immediately. Thor pushed open the heavy door, revealing a very dignified Odin seated on his throne. Loki suddenly felt uncharacteristically nervous.

"Bring him forward," Odin commanded. Loki was tugged along behind Thor until they stood before the king. Frigga, who was seated beside him, teared up at the sight of her adopted son. Loki was still staring at his toes.

"Loki, do you admit to your crimes and accept my forgiveness?" Odin asked loudly. Loki raised his head and replied firmly, "I do."

"Do you swear to remain loyal to this family from this point onward?" Again, Loki responded with a positive answer.

"Then you are forgiven. But you will not go without punishment," Odin said. The matter of punishment was what Loki had been dreading.

"You shall be stripped of your magic and be sent in exile to Midgard until I feel you are ready to return," the king decided. Loki rolled his eyes. Couldn't Odin think of some original punishments? This one was becoming a bit overused, and Loki thought it was rather stupid to beg him to come home, only to be told he had to leave as soon as he got there.

"Do you accept your punishment?"

"Yes," Loki answered, becoming rather impatient.

"I shall stay with him," Thor chimed in.

"No, Thor. You're staying here," Frigga disagreed.

"Loki is my brother and I wish to accompany him in his exile," Thor argued adamantly.

"Very well. I wish not to argue," Odin sighed. "Follow me."

Loki and Thor trailed behind Odin as he led them across the Bifrost. After a bit of spell-casting on Odin's part, Loki's magic was successfully confiscated and he and Thor were ready for their journey to Earth.

"Farewell, my sons. I shall see you again," Odin said after giving Heimdall his instructions. A moment later, Loki and Thor had been safely transported to Midgard.

"One small problem, Thor," Loki began. "Where are we to stay?"

"I have an idea," Thor answered thoughtfully.


	3. No Feet on the Table

**Author's note: Yay! 3rd chapter! This one's better, right? More funny and less emotional? I hope you like it :D Also, someone please tell me what Loki'd means. I'm confused. Thanks ;)**

"No. Just…no," Tony said firmly. Loki sighed. He had known Thor's plan wasn't going to go over very well.

"But my brother and I have nowhere else to stay," Thor argued.

"Go live with Jane," Tony suggested.

"Her home is very small. And quite strange-looking. I have never seen a structure quite like it before," Thor replied.

"It's called a mobile home, Thor," Loki explained patiently. "Lots of Midgardians have them."

"Oh. Interesting," Thor mused. Tony Stark coughed lightly.

"Oh, yes, back to the present issue. I shall give you much gratitude if you allow Loki and I to stay with you until we are to return to Asgard," Thor said.

"Do you have any idea how long that could be?" Tony asked.

"No, but I am sure it can't be too long," Thor answered. Stark thought for a moment.

"I'm not sure if I trust Loki," he said.

"Let me assure you, Man of Iron, I trust my brother, and I urge you to as well," Thor said. Loki propped his feet up onto the table. Who knew how long this argument could stretch on?

"Hey, Reindeer Games, no shoes on the table," Tony demanded good-naturedly. "I eat there and I'd prefer not to have your nasty feet all over it."

Sighing loudly, Loki dropped his feet to the floor. His boots made a rather ominous thump as they hit the ground. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Thor and Tony argued back and forth for ten more minutes. Loki didn't bother to pay attention. Eventually, Tony cracked.

"Alright! Fine! You and Frosty can stay. But only for a little while," he agreed reluctantly.

"A thousand hearty thanks!" Thor said cheerfully at the exact moment that Loki snapped, "Don't call me that." As a result, Tony heard something along the lines of "A thousand don't call me thanks." He almost asked Thor to repeat himself before deciding it was probably just some weird Asgardian junk anyway.

"But under one-or three-conditions," Stark said, raising his index finger. "One, neither of you are allowed in the lab unless I say so. Two, no using electronic equipment unless I show you how first. Three, no magic or hammers or ice."

"Agreed," Thor said.

"And, also," Stark continued, looking pointedly at Loki, "no funny business."

Loki sighed. "I shall try to contain myself," he said sarcastically.

"Good," Tony responded. A second later, the door opened and a slightly frazzled Pepper entered.

"I filed those papers on-," she began, cutting herself off when she saw the pair of Asgardians seated at the table. "Tony…why is Loki in our kitchen?"

Loki smiled crookedly and wiggled his fingers. "Hello, Miss Potts," he greeted.

"He and Thor will be staying here for a…while," Tony explained.

"Oh, Tony…" Pepper sat down heavily between him and Thor. "What have you gotten yourself into now?"

"Hey, he practically begged me," Stark defended, pointing at Thor. "Have you seen that hammer of his? That thing does some serious damage."

Pepper gaped at him. "Loki is a convicted criminal! He can't stay here!"

"Technically, he can, it just may not be the best course of action," Tony said.

"Yes, he physically can, but this is by far the worst idea you've ever had!" Pepper scolded.

"Forgive me, Lady Pepper, for it is I who requested that Tony Stark let us stay with him," Thor said.

"Thank you, Thor, but it's Loki I'm worried about," Pepper replied. Loki stared.

"I promise not to kill you," he said smugly. Pepper stared back.

"See what I'm talking about? This guy is a lunatic," she complained.

"Do not speak of my brother that way," Thor demanded.

"Sorry, Thor. I didn't mean it like that," Pepper apologized quickly. Loki crossed his legs and rested his chin on his hand. His chair was getting uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, Pep. I've laid down the rules, and from what Thor's told me, Reindeer Games has gotten grounded from his magic, anyway," Tony said. Loki shot him a venomous glare. It was ignored.

"I guess there's no talking you out of it now," Pepper sighed.

"Nope."

"I'm not cleaning up after them," Pepper stated before hurrying off to pay the bills.

"Alright, now that we're all on the same page, I'll show you guys to your rooms," Tony said.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Loki frowned in frustration. Stark had shown him how to operate the television, but Loki hadn't quite mastered it yet. The Midgardian contraption was powered on, and the colorful screen showed a group of mortals playing a game with a round orange ball and a net. Loki couldn't figure out how to make the picture change. He pressed a button on the thing Stark had called the "remote." Suddenly, the pictures became silent.

Loki pressed the same button and the sound was back. Another button brought up a box with lots of words in it, which Loki didn't bother reading. He tried pressing one of the numbers. Finally, the picture changed. This one showed a Midgardian weilding a metal stick, preparing to strike a small white ball.

Loki groaned. Why so many sports? Giving up, he turned the television off. He would never understand the inferior minds of humans. Sitting down on the bed, he stared blankly out the window. Tall buildings loomed over hordes of Midgardians driving those metal things called cars. There was really nothing interesting to look at.

Loki gazed steadily at his helmet and boots, which had been removed and placed in a corner by the door. He was rather fond of the helmet, so it baffled him as to why Stark insisted on making fun of it. He was also unsure of what a reindeer was. No such creatures existed on Asgard. He supposed he could ask Stark or Pepper in the morning.

Outside his window, the sun set and the sky darkened. Loki curled up in the bed, almost glad that Stark had let him stay, even if they didn't quite get along.


	4. Thunder is Quite Frightening

**Author's note: Yay 4 chapters! I actually don't know what kind of fruits they have on Asgard. Just deal with it. I just realized I've been forgetting something.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers. Stan Lee does. Also, I don't own Wii or Paula Dean.**

Steve stared. "I worry about you sometimes, Tony."

"Why? I got this," Tony replied.

"Loki is a criminal! How do you know he won't turn on you?" Dr. Banner asked, concerned.

"I don't. But we stopped him before, we can do it again," said Tony, surprisingly unconcerned. "Besides, he doesn't even have any magic. His daddy took it."

"Odin is not my father!" Loki spat from across the room. He was seated on the sofa, halfheartedly watching a television program.

"I don't really care. I'm trying to have a conversation," Tony called, gesturing to Steve and Bruce, who were sitting across from him at the table. Loki merely sighed.

"But, Tony, he's dangerous," Steve cautioned.

"I know. But he's got Thor to keep him in line. I don't really think there's much to worry about."

"Yes, because Thor did a wonderful job stopping him from trying to take over the Earth," Bruce said sarcastically.

"I cannot control every aspect of my brother's life!" Thor boomed.

"Whoa, sorry." Dr. Banner held up his hands protectively. Thor returned to his task at hand, which was attempting to open a juice carton. Upside-down.

"Other end, Blondie," Tony said. Thor flipped the carton over and a look of comprehension dawned on his face. Tony shook his head and sighed.

"Aren't you making an effort to, you know, restrain him?" Steve asked.

"Well…uh, no. But what's he gonna do? He's got no magic and Thor is practically breathing down his neck twenty-four seven," replied Tony.

"Fine. I'm done arguing. No use trying to talk you out of it now, anyway. It's on you if there's a crisis," Bruce sighed, pushing his chair back.

"Uh…me, too," Steve said awkwardly, though he clearly wasn't finished arguing. He wandered over to where Loki was watching television and sat down on the sofa as far away from him as possible, which wasn't much. Loki was sprawled out right in the middle. Steve looked quite uncomfortable, and Loki allowed himself a smirk.

"Hello, Steve," he said slowly.

"Uh, hi…," Steve replied. He shifted his position, trying to put more distance between himself and the mischievous god. Eventually, he gave up and accepted the awkwardness.

"These Midgardian television shows are really boring," Loki complained.

"Some of them are okay," Steve said. A moment later, Thor joined them, holding a glass of orange juice.

"What is that?" Loki asked, pointing a pale finger at the cup.

"I believe it is called orange juice," he answered, examining the liquid.

"You guys don't have oranges on Asgard?" Tony said.

"No. We have many fruits, but this…orange is not one of them," Thor responded.

"What about apples? Or grapes?"

"Yes, we have those."

"But, no oranges?"

"No."

"Interesting," Tony said.

"It's just fruit," Loki sighed. After a few moments, Thor spoke again. "This orange juice has an interesting flavor."

"Let me try it," Loki demanded, taking the glass from his hand. He took a large sip and made a face. He sniffed the remaining juice before drinking it down.

"Hey!" Thor snatched the empty cup from Loki. Loki grinned mockingly.

"You guys are just like an old married couple," Tony said, laughing.

"What?" Loki asked, confused.

"It just means you argue about everything," said Tony.

"Then why didn't you just say that?" Thor asked.

"Because it was funnier to compare you to an old married couple," he replied. Thor blinked at him.

"Oh, never mind," Tony sighed. Loki stared out the window at the grey, overcast sky. A few drops of rain began to fall. He hoped it wasn't going to storm again. He'd never admit it, but thunder terrified him. Growing up with Thor meant that he'd had some pretty scary experiences, and as a child, Thor had only made it worse by taunting Loki about it and frightening him on purpouse. He had only meant it as brotherly teasing, but because of Thor, Loki had developed a lifelong fear of thunder.

True to his luck, the sky darkened a bit more and a bolt of white lightning shot from the clouds. A distant growl of thunder followed. Loki ignored it to the best of his abilities.

"This show is boring," Tony complained, breaking the silence.

"Confusing, I might add," Thor said.

"It's Paula Dean. How can that possibly confuse you?" asked Tony.

"Why does she talk in such a strange accent?" Thor questioned, ignoring Tony.

"I don't know. Why do you ask so many questions?"

"I am not as familliar with Midgard as you are, Tony Stark," Thor said.

"I'll just change the channel," Steve said, taking the remote from Tony. There wasn't much on. Eventually, they agreed to turn off the television and find something else to do.

"How about I teach you guys how to play the Wii?" Tony suggested.

"What is a Wii?" Loki asked, wrinkling his nose.

"You'll see." Tony pressed a button on a small white box, and the television screen was filled with rows of colorful icons. He picked up a remote and pointed it at the screen.

"See how this works?" he asked, wiggling the remote around. A little hand traveled around on the screen, mirroring his movements.

"Yes, I believe so," Loki said thoughtfully.

"No," Thor stated.

"You never understand anything," Loki taunted. Thor frowned and said nothing. Loki knew it was only because he couldn't think of anything clever to say.

"You'll get the hang of it. Eventually." Tony handed the remote to Thor. He stared at it blankly.

"Point it to that little box there," Tony instructed. It took three minutes of trying before they realized that Thor was holding the remote backwards. At last, the box was clicked and the Mii plaza appeared on the screen.

"Why are there little people in there?" Thor inquired.

"They're called Miis, and I'm going to show you how to make one," Tony said.

"How am I to create a person without-" Thor was interrupted by Tony.

"Don't finish that sentence. Please. Just watch." Loki wondered what the point of this was. It appeared that all you did was make a replica of yourself just so it could walk around in a white room with the other Miis.

"What is the point of this?" Steve asked as if reading Loki's thoughts. Thor had finished making his Mii (with lots of help from Tony) and now it was Steve's turn.

"You just make yourself on here so that you can play the games, which I'll show you later," explained Tony. Steve nodded.

"None of these really look like my hair," he said.

"Just pick one. It doesn't really matter," Tony replied. After a moment, the remote was handed off to Loki.

"No, thank you," he said, holding out the remote to Tony.

"Aw, come on! Don't be lame," Tony prodded, pushing the remote away.

"I believe the lame one here is you, Stark," Loki sneered.

"Says the guy with the stupid reindeer helmet."

"That is proper ceremonial armor."

"Yeah, if you're a dork," Tony teased.

"If you don't quit arguing, I'm pouring my coffee on your head," Bruce said, sitting down on the floor beside the full sofa.

"Here, you go first then," Tony said, grabbing the remote from Loki and tossing it to Bruce.

"I already did this last time I was here," he said.

"Oh, yeah. Well, Frosty, looks like you're the only one left," said Tony. Loki scowled and slapped the remote out of Tony's hand.

"Fine," he hissed. He scrolled through the choices, not particularly liking any of them.

"I don't like any of these," Loki complained.

"No one cares. Just pick," replied Tony. Loki grumbled something under his breath and continued browsing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blinding flash of lightning, punctuated by a huge, deafening rumble of thunder that seemed to vibrate in the floorboards. Loki gasped and lost his grip on the remote. He felt his hands shaking as he bent to retrieve it.

Stark laughed. "Ha! You're scared of thunder? Thor's brother, scared of thunder. That's hysterical!"

"It isn't funny!" Loki fumed.

"Haha! Yes it is!" Tony giggled. Loki scowled, drew his knees up to his chest, and continued making his Mii. Tony continued his immature giggling while Thor and Steve stared.

"There. I have finished," he said, tossing the remote down.

"Aww, it looks just like you!" Tony said, grinning childishly.

"Isn't that the point?" Loki snapped.

"Yes."

"Exactly."

"Great, now we can actually play a game!"

An hour later, Loki sat at the table, sipping a mug of hot tea. The storm hadn't lessened one bit, and Stark's Wii had only aggrivated Loki. He kept losing. He hated losing.

"I had no idea thunder frightened you, brother," Thor said. Loki stared into his tea. He had been emarrassed enough for one day. Another massive thunderclap sounded and Loki cringed.

"I wouldn't be scared of it if you hadn't terrorized me in our childhood," Loki replied.

"I apologize. I meant no harm. It was only intended as a bit of fun," said Thor.

"You have a twisted sense of humor, Thor," Loki sighed.

"But it's funny," Tony said, sitting down across from Loki.

"No, Stark, it isn't," Loki argued.

"Why can't you just call me Tony?"

"Why can you not simply address me as Loki?"

"Touché."

"What?" Loki asked.

"Never mind," Stark replied. Loki pushed his chair back and took his empty mug over to the sink. Thunder roared again, causing Loki to jump. The mug fell to the ground, where it broke into pieces.

"Not cool," Tony said.

"Sorry," Loki said, though he didn't really mean it. "Thunder is quite frightening, you know."

"That's adorable," Tony chuckled. Loki glowered venomously.

"Shut it, Stark, before I shut it for you." That seemed to do the trick.


	5. A Small Explosion

**Author's note: No one would tell me what Loki'd means so I was forced to Google it. Oh well. Do people even read my author's notes? Meh, who cares. **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Avengers. Or Wii, or any other copyrighted things mentioned forthwith. **

Loki sat at the table, watching Thor play a game on the Wii. He had enjoyed it much more than Loki had, even though he still didn't understand most of the controls. It was entertaining to watch him be confused.

"Tony Stark, your Wii called me fat!" Thor yelled. Loki giggled.

"It's alright, Goldilocks. It calls everyone fat," Tony replied.

"It didn't call me fat when I played it yesterday," said Loki.

"Well, yeah, that's 'cause you're practically a toothpick," Stark teased. Loki frowned.

"Hey, guys!" a familliar voice called.

"What the heck! Where is that coming from?" Tony nearly fell off the sofa he had been so startled. The grate slid off of the air vent and Clint stuck his head out, grinning.

"Dude! Don't scare me like that!" Tony gasped.

"Sorry," Clint laughed, dropping lightly to the floor.

"So where's Natasha? I know she's up there somewhere," said Tony.

"Here," she replied, landing nimbly next to Clint.

"I'm gonna have to install a security system up there," Tony mused.

"We'll get past it," said Clint.

"I know."

"So where's Steve and Bruce? I thought they'd be here," Natasha said.

"Uh, I think Bruce was showing Steve something in the lab," Tony replied.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Clint asked.

"No."

"Then why'd you let them?"

"Worst-case scenario, something little blows up. It's happened before," Tony said.

"Yes, something meaning one of them, most likely Steve," Natasha half-joked.

"Aw, come on. That's not going to happen. Steve's smart enough to keep himself from being exploded."

"Doubtful," Loki said.

"Was I talking to you? No," Tony replied. Without warning, the sound of a medium-sized explosion boomed, causing the floor to quake. Tony, Clint, Thor, and Natasha shared a concerned look before dashing off to check on Steve and Bruce. Loki followed. If someone had blown up, he wanted to see it. They entered the lab, taking in the dismembered machinery and lack of exploded Avengers. Steve stared wide-eyed at nothing in particular while Dr. Banner extracted himself from a pile of machine parts.

"Steve!" he scolded. "I told you not to touch that!"

"Sorry, Bruce," Steve said meekly.

"What was he not supposed to touch?" Tony asked. "Oh, no. Was it that old bomb that I specifically told you not to mess with because I had no idea what it did?"

"How can you not know what it did? You built it," Clint said.

"I was expiramenting. It was, wasn't it?" Tony asked.

"Maybe," Steve said quietly, looking rather like a small child being punished by his parents.

"Oh, Steve." Tony shook his head.

"Sorry! I didn't know it was going to blow up!" Steve apologized.

"I told you not to touch it!" Bruce yelled.

"Whoa, calm down. There's been enough destruction," Tony said.

"It's a nice change to the decor. The charred wall really ties the room together," Clint joked.

"I like the table, myself," Loki added. Said table had recieved some of the worst damage. It was broken in half and three of the legs were no longer attatched. It was also on fire.

"Ah, where's that stupid robot when something is actually on fire?" Tony grumbled. A second later, Tony found himself covered in fire extinguisher, while the table was still smoldering.

"Ahh!" Tony yelled, kicking one of the detached table legs in frustration. Loki laughed. "Performance issues?"

"Haha," Tony said sarcastically. "Great, now I have to take a shower."

"I really am sorry," Steve called as Tony slammed the door behind him.

"You really messed up, dude," Clint said.

"Not helping!" Natasha punched his shoulder. "It's okay, Steve. You didn't mean to."

"Thanks," Steve replied.

"How are we going to clean all this up?" Bruce asked, nudging a piece of metal with his foot.

"I'm sure Tony will figure something out," Clint said.

"It's not fair to make him clean up a mess he didn't make," Steve argued.

"Then Pepper will do it."

"That isn't fair either! We have to help somehow."

"I have no part in this," Loki said, turning to leave.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're helping. It can be part two of your punishment," Clint said, grabbing Loki's arm.

"Alright then. I shall be the supervisor," Loki suggested.

"No way. You're going to clean, just like the rest of us," Bruce said. Loki pouted. "Fine."

"Good. Now let's get started," Natasha said.

Three hours later, most of the rubble had been cleared, but the wall was still streaked with scorch marks, there was no useable table, and most of Tony's papers and files had been blown to smithereens. Luckily, his Iron Man suit had avoided damage other than a few tiny scratches that may or may not have been there before.

"I think this is all we can do," Steve said, a little sadly.

"If Odin had not taken my magic, we could have finished hours ago," Loki complained.

"It wasn't that bad. You're just lazy," Clint said.

"I am not," Loki defended.

"Are too."

"You are so immature," Natasha chided, shaking her head.

"Well I'm done here," Clint announced, turning on his heel and striding purposefully out of the now less destroyed lab. Everyone followed him up to the living room where they found Tony watching a movie.

"Tony, we cleaned most of it up, and your Iron Man suit is okay. You'll just have to get a new table and a few of your inventions blew up, but it's mostly okay," Steve said awkwardly.

"Shh! It's just getting to the good part!" Tony hissed, referring to the movie. Natasha marched over to the television and stood right in front of the screen, arms crossed.

"Hey!" Tony complained.

"Steve is trying to apologize," she said firmly.

"It's alright, Cap," Tony said. "Okay, you can move now, Natasha." Somewhat reluctantly, Natasha moved away from the television and sat Indian style on the floor.

"Really? Oh, good, I thought you were mad," said Steve.

"That lab has blown up probably ten times," Tony stated.

"Only ten?" asked Pepper, entering the room with the papers she had managed to salvage from the wrecked lab.

"Yeah. 'Cause I'm just awesome like that."

"Mhmm." Pepper started sorting through the papers.

"You do not believe in my epicness?"

"Tony, have you been drinking again?" Pepper looked up from the only slightly charred documents.

"Nope. This is my natural self," he replied.

"Hm. Should I be worried?"

"Nah."

"What have you got there, Miss Potts?" Loki asked, looming over her shoulder.

"Just some things that weren't totally obliterated. You know, blueprints, bills that need to be payed," she paused and looked pointedly at Tony. "Not very interesting."

"I see," Loki said. He could tell he was beginning to make Pepper nervous, so he remained standing over her.

"You know," Tony began, "I've always wanted to ask you, Loki, how do you get your hair to stay like that?"

"Like what?" Loki asked, frowning slightly.

"You know, how it's all flippy at the ends," Stark explained, using his hands for emphasis.

"Oh. I never really thought about it. It's just natural, I suppose."

"That's so awesome," Tony said. Loki merely stared. He didn't know if he would ever understand Stark.

"Thor has pretty cool hair, too," Clint said. "I guess it's a god thing."

"I don't know. Not every god has hair that awesome," Tony replied. He seemed to have completely forgotten about the movie he was watching.

"Maybe it runs in the family, then," Steve suggested.

"I'm adopted," Loki reminded him.

"Oh, right. Sorry," said Steve.

"I guess it will forever remain a mystery," Tony said dramatically. "Like the Bermuda Triangle."

"What is this Triangle of Bermuda?" Thor asked.

"It's this place in the ocean. It seems like everyone who goes there disappears and no one knows why," Bruce explained.

"Interesting," Thor responded thoughtfully.

"So what do you guys wanna do? It's boring just sitting around here. I'm surprised we haven't gotten a call from Fury," said Tony.

"Me too," Clint said. "Oh well. We could go see a movie!"

"Nah. Sitting in a movie theater isn't much different than just sitting here," Tony replied.

"You guys could be nice and go get Loki some normal clothes so he doesn't have to wear that weird armor all the time," Pepper suggested.

"Or we could let him wear it so people stare at him funny," Tony joked. Pepper shot him the infamous oh-no-you-won't glare and he sighed.

"Fine, we'll go buy him some clothes," he said.

"Thank you," Pepper said sweetly.

"Whatever. Come on, guys!" Tony leapt up off the couch and hurried off, the others in tow. They all piled into a car and Tony started the engine, marking the beginning of a very interesting shopping trip.


	6. Why Clint Should Never Be Given Sugar

**Author's note: You guys rock! Thanks for all the reviews and favorites! Enjoy!**

"Are we there yet?" Clint asked, even though it had only been five minutes.

"Yes," Tony teased. "We'll just let you out here, Hawky."

"Can we? Please?" Loki asked.

"No," replied Tony. Loki sighed and crossed his arms, staring at the scenery blurring past in the window. He wasn't very comfortable. There were more people than intended crammed into the car, and Thor's size only made it worse. Natasha and Clint had very reluctantly agreed to ride in the very back where there weren't any seats, and Loki had been stuck riding smashed between Thor and the side of the car, sharing the row of seats with Bruce. Steve, the lucky one, had gotten to ride shotgun.

"How about now?" Clint said, just to annoy Tony. He was ignored.

"Ugh, this trip is taking forever," he complained, drawing out the last word like it had fifty letters.

"Maybe it would go faster if you'd shut up, Clint," Natasha said.

"Maybe Tony should drive faster."

"We could get a speeding ticket for that," Natasha argued.

"We're the freaking Avengers! We should be exempt from speeding tickets. Except for Loki," Clint replied.

"Be nice back there, kids," Tony said.

"Are we-"

"Yes, Clint. We're finally there." Tony killed the engine and they all piled out into the parking lot.

"Target," said Clint. "Of all the awesome stores you could afford to go to, you picked Target?"

"Yeah. It's a good store. They have lots of stuff," Tony said.

"Fiiine," Clint sighed.

"Wait, won't people recognize us?" Steve asked.

"Probably," Tony replied, extremely unconcerned.

Steve stared. "Shouldn't we, you know, do something about it?"

"Nah, we'll be fine," said Tony.

"What about all the fangirls who are in love with me?" Clint asked, grinning.

"You mean all the nonexistent ones?" Tony teased. Clint stuck his tongue out at him.

"Can we please just get this over with?" Loki asked impatiently.

"Sure," Tony said, grabbing his arm and practically skipping into the store, dragging Loki behind him. Loki dug his heels into the ground, trying to stop himself, but he couldn't. They passed an old woman on the way in the door.

"Help?" Loki squeaked.

"Stupid kids," she replied. Loki sighed and let himself be dragged.

"Tony, he can walk, you know," Natasha said.

"I know, but this is so much more fun!"

"Let go of him."

"Fine, Party Pooper."

"Thank you," Natasha said.

"Uh, I'll go get a cart," Steve suggested.

"Ooh, can I ride in it?" Clint squealed.

"No," Natasha snapped.

"Why?"

"You're a big boy now, Clint," said Tony.

"Aww, growing up sucks!" he groaned.

"Sucks what?" Thor asked, confused.

"Never mind."

"Okay, I got a cart," Steve said.

"Yay! Now we can actually go shop," Tony replied.

"Loki, do you even know what size you wear?" Natasha asked.

"Size amazing," he answered. "Actually, I have no idea."

"Don't worry. We'll figure it out," Steve said.

"Ooh! Candy!" Clint said, dashing off to the candy aisle.

"I'll go supervise," Bruce sighed, following Clint. Thor, Tony, Steve, and Natasha took Loki to the clothing department.

"Hey, these look like they would fit you," Tony said, holding out a pair of jeans. Loki took them and held them up in front of his face to examine them.

"I don't know. I have never worn anything like this before," he said.

"Try it on," Natasha suggested. "The fitting room is right there."

"Alright," he agreed. Loki entered the fitting rooms, chose a stall, and locked the door behind him. He slipped out of his Asgardian attire and pulled on the jeans.

"You got them on yet?" Tony asked.

"Yes," he replied, examining himself in the mirror.

"Can I see?"

"I suppose," Loki said, unlocking the door and stepping out into the hall. Crossing his arms over his bare chest, Loki waited while Stark examined him.

"It's a good look for you," Tony decided.

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "I like it."

"They're a bit stiff," Loki said.

"It can't be worse than all that metal and leather you normally wear," said Steve.

"What do you think, Thor?" Tony asked.

"Loki looks quite handsome," Thor said.

"Do you like them, Loki?" Steve questioned.

"Yes, I suppose," he mused.

"You boys almost done in there?" Natasha called. "I found a nice shirt that Loki might like."

"Yeah, just a sec," Tony responded.

"Does Loki like his pants?" she asked.

"I think so."

"Tell him to come here so I can see them."

"Loki, go show Natasha your pants," Tony instructed. Loki walked over to the entrance of the fitting rooms and stood in the doorframe.

"Wow, those actually look pretty good on you," she said. "Here, try this on." She tossed him a green t-shirt, which he failed to catch, causing it to drape over his head. Natasha giggled as he snatched it away, messing up his hair.

"This is a rather simple garment, is it not?" he asked.

"Just try it on," Natasha urged. Loki slipped it over his head and reentered the fitting rooms to see what he looked like.

"Hmm." He rather liked his new look. He would definitely fit in better with Midgardians now.

"Do you like it?" Natasha asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"Told you!"

"You look great, Reindeer Games," Tony said.

"Thank you," he replied. He closed the stall door to change back into his old clothes.

"Alright, I'm finished," he announced, folding the shirt and reattaching the jeans to the plastic hanger.

"You're going to need more than just one outfit," Steve said.

"Fine," Loki sighed. They picked out three more pairs of jeans and t-shirts.

"Now can we leave?" he said.

"We have to go get Clint and Bruce first," Natasha said. They found Bruce sitting on the floor, halfheartedly listening to Clint debating whether he preferred M&M's or Skittles.

"Just get both," Tony suggested.

"Okay," Clint agreed.

"Are we finally ready to go?" Bruce asked.

"Yes, thankfully," Loki answered.

"Good."

The car trip home wasn't very pleasant. Bruce had called shotgun, so Steve had to squeeze in with Loki and Thor. Steve was bigger than Bruce, so it was even more crowded than before. Loki sat in the middle this time, and he was feeling extremely claustrophobic. To make matters worse, Clint found it entertaining to hit Loki in the back of the head with Skittles.

"Will you stop that?" he spat, turning around to glare at Clint.

"Hmm, no," he replied, hitting Loki right in the nose with a purple Skittles. Loki threw it right back at him, missing horribly and hitting Natasha instead. She merely picked it up and ate it, as if nothing had happened.

"We should have never let him buy candy," Steve said. Finally, they were back home.

"I'm freeee!" Clint sang, leaping out of the car.

"I think you've had enough sugar," Tony said, taking the empty Skittles wrapper and tossing it in the trash.

"I don't," he argued.

"Who's had enough sugar?" Pepper asked, appearing in the doorway. "Please say it isn't Thor. He's scary on a sugar rush."

"Clint," Steve replied. "We made the mistake of letting him buy candy."

"Ohh. So did you guys have fun?" she asked.

"If you find being crammed uncomfortably into a car and being assaulted with candy 'fun,' then we had a spectacular time," Loki said. Pepper laughed.

"We did find some stuff for Loki," Natasha said.

"Good," Pepper replied.

"Pepper, you should be a doctor," Clint said randomly.

"Why…?"

"'Cause then you'd be Dr. Pepper!" he giggled.

"Oh. Haha," she replied. "You've definitely had enough sugar."

"So what did you do while we were gone?" Tony asked.

"Payed the bills, tried to scrub the scorch marks off the wall, and ordered another table," she said.

"Awesome," said Tony.

"Sure."

"Hey, guys! I just thought of something awesome!" Tony exclaimed.

"Oh, no. What?" Bruce said.

"We're going on a trip," he announced.

"Where?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"The beach!"

"Oh, no…this cannot end well," Loki sighed.

**Author's note 2: ANGELnDEVIL sent me a PM requesting they go to the beach, so here you go! This shall be fun to write!**


	7. In Which Loki Steals Clint's Fangirls

**Author's note: Sorry it took kinda long to update. Hehe I like this chapter and I hope you guys do, too. **

"Tony, really?" Pepper asked, exasperated.

"Yeah! Come on, it's going to be awesome," he said, bouncing on his toes in anticipation.

"No it isn't," Loki argued.

"You just don't know how to have fun," Tony replied.

"Yes, I do. I am the god of mischief, after all."

"Prove it."

"How?"

"Please stop. This argument is going nowhere," Steve interrupted.

"I actually think the beach sounds fun!" Clint said.

"I don't," Loki pouted.

"Well, we're going anyway!" Tony announced. Loki sighed loudly.

"I am staying here," Pepper said firmly.

"No you're not. You need a vacation," Tony contradicted.

"No, Tony, I-"

"You're coming."

"Oh, fine! But you better behave," she instructed.

"I'll try," Tony said.

"So when do we leave?" Clint asked.

"In a week. We have to get all the stuff we need to take with us," Tony answered.

"What about hotel reservations?" Pepper asked.

"I'm Tony Stark. I'll figure something out."

"I'll go make reservations."

"That counts as figuring something out!"

"Sure," Pepper said, leaving.

"This is going to be a disaster," Bruce said, shaking his head.

"Nah, it'll be fun!" Tony assured. "I'll bet Thor and Loki have never even been to the beach before. It will be nice for them."

"It is true. I have only heard others speak of beaches. I have never been myself," Thor confirmed.

"See?" Tony said.

"I just know something will go wrong," Loki sighed.

"Ah, Loki. Ever the pessimist," said Tony, slapping Loki on the shoulder.

"Oh, Stark. Ever the idiot," he replied smartly, prying Tony's hand away.

"I told you to just call me Tony."

"I don't care."

"Girls, girls! You're both pretty! Now quit arguing," Natasha said.

"I am not a woman," Loki snapped.

"You sure?"

"Would you like to check?"

"NO!" Natasha spat, slapping Loki across the face.

"Ooh, burn," Clint hissed. Loki glowered fiercely.

"Whoa, don't get your undies in a twist," Clint joked. Loki made a face, confused.

"Hey, I'm hungry," Tony said.

"Yeah, me too," Steve agreed, relieved that Tony had changed the subject.

"Shall we eat, then?" Thor suggested.

"Sure," Natasha replied.

"I can't cook…," Tony said.

"I don't think any of us can," said Bruce.

"We'll just go out somew-"

"I am riding in the front seat!" Loki interrupted.

"Aww…I was so gonna call dibs on it," Clint said.

"Too bad," Loki taunted, sticking his tongue out.

"Like I was saying before Frosty interrupted me, we will just go out somewhere. Any suggestions?" said Tony.

"Surprise us," Bruce replied.

"Yay! I like surprises. Unless they want to kill me," Clint said.

"Remind me to never let you eat candy again," Tony sighed. "Okay, everyone, back in the car."

"I am not riding in the trunk again," Natasha stated, climbing into the back seat. Bruce and Thor claimed the remaining seats, forcing Steve and Clint to ride in the very back.

"Again?" Clint groaned. "You guys are the worst."

"Consider it payback for attacking me with your candy," Loki said, resting his feet on the dashboard.

"You know what I'm going to say," Tony said.

"I do what I want, Stark. You cannot tell me where to put my feet," Loki replied.

"Well, actually, I can, you just can choose not to obey me. I highly advise against that, though."

"Can we just go instead of listening to you two fight?" Bruce asked impatiently.

"Sure," Tony replied, starting the car.

"I wonder where we're going. I bet it's someplace awesome," Clint rambled.

"We were forced to shop at Target earlier, so I wouldn't get my hopes up," Natasha said. The rest of the trip passed in, surprisingly, silence.

"Panera Bread? Yay, they have coffee! And pastries," Clint said.

"Which you are not allowed to have," Tony said.

"Aww…"

"What does Panera even mean?" Bruce asked.

"I'm not sure. I think it's French," Tony answered thoughtfully.

"Do I really want my bread associated with it?" Thor questioned.

"Yes, yes you do," said Tony. Loki stared through the window into the restaurant. It was full of people drinking coffee and typing on laptops. He didn't see the appeal. They opened the door and entered the restaurant; it smelled of coffee and bread. The line wasn't awfully long, so Loki didn't have much time to read the menu before it was his turn to order.

"Hey, have I seen you somewhere before?" the young cashier asked, squinting her eyes and examining Loki.

"I am sure you have," he replied nonchalantly. The cashier blinked at him. According to her name tag, she was called Amy.

"You're that weird alien who tried to take over the earth, aren't you?" Amy said, her eyes widening a bit.

"Thank you for noticing. Can I order now?" Loki was getting impatient.

"Oh, my gosh! I saw you on the news! That was so cool! But really scary," Amy squealed. Loki clasped his hands behind his back and stared up at the ceiling. Amy was really getting on his nerves.

"What's your name again? Loki?" Amy ran back into the kitchen and reappeared dragging another girl along behind her. Her name tag read Chelsea.

"Look! It's that hot alien dude from the news!" Amy said excitedly.

"Oh my gosh!" Chelsea breathed.

"Can I please just order?" Loki hissed, his hands tensing.

"Ooh, can I take a picture?" Amy asked, pulling out a mobile phone.

"NO!" Loki snapped. Right about then was when Thor decided to intervene.

"What troubles you, brother?" he asked.

"You just had to say 'brother,' didn't you?" Loki sighed.

"What do you mean? I always-"

"Oh my gosh! You're Thor!" Chelsea squealed.

"Yes, I am."

"You're, like, totally awesome! Do you have a girlfriend?" Amy rambled.

"Yes, the Lady Jane Foster," Thor answered. Amy sighed and pouted.

"I would like to order my soup now!" Loki spat. Amy and Chelsea ignored him. He spotted Steve walking towards him to see what all the chaos was about. Loki caught his eye and mouthed the word, "no." Steve didn't catch on, so Loki began gesturing wildly, signaling for Steve to go away. Frowning in confusion, Steve turned around and walked in the other direction.

"My brother would like to order his food," Thor said calmly.

"Okay, then can we take a picture?" Chelsea asked.

"If it means I can finally get away from you, then yes," Loki fumed. At last, he was able to place his order for a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and the annoying cashiers got their photo.

"I truly loathe Midgardians sometimes," Loki growled, sitting down across from Tony at their table.

"Why?" he asked, obviously not aware of the incident.

"Irritating females obsess over me for no reason," he explained, resting his head in his hands.

"Ooh, looks like Frosty stole all your fangirls, Legolas," Tony teased.

"How is that fair?" Clint complained.

"I guess it's the hair," Tony said. Loki sighed and swirled his soup with his spoon.

"I really don't see what's so great about it," Natasha speculated.

"It's just…awesome," Tony replied.

"And mine isn't?" Clint asked.

"No, not really."

"Well, you're nice," he said sarcastically.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Loki examined the plastic bottle in his hand. According to the label, it was called sunscreen, and it was supposed to protect you from getting burned from the sun. He unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. It smelled oddly like coconut. The sunscreen was one amongst the many supplies they had gotten for the trip. He still wasn't quite looking forward to it.

Loki had heard multiple stories about people drowning or getting eaten by sharks at the beach, so he didn't understand why Stark wanted to go so badly. But Loki was stuck with him for now. He almost wished Thor had picked somewhere else for them to stay. Even trying to live in the cramped confinements of Jane's mobile home seemed better than being dragged to the beach, where he knew something was bound to go horribly wrong. Also, he didn't know how long he could ride in that cursed car without going completely insane.

His thoughts were interrupted by a crash in the kitchen, followed by Tony's cursing.

"Aw, Steve! That burns!" he yelled. Loki went to see what the problem was. He entered the kitchen to a very ashamed Steve and a coffee-covered Tony.

"I'm sorry, Tony!" Steve apologized. Loki couldn't help but laugh.

"It really isn't funny," said Tony, glaring.

"Yes it is," Loki replied.

"Would you like to try being covered in scalding hot coffee?" Tony asked, wiping his face with a towel.

"No, thank you," Loki said smartly.

"Too bad," Tony said, hugging him so that the coffee soaked into his clothes, making him rather uncomfortable.

"Let go of me!" he snapped, wriggling out of Tony's grip. He escaped only for Tony to tackle him again. They fell to the floor where a rather one-sided tickle war ensued.

"Get off!" Loki giggled. Steve stared, completely forgetting about the spilled coffee.

"Hey, Tony, I-" Pepper started, entering the kitchen, then cutting herself off and leaving abruptly.

"Aw, man! Loki, you scared Pepper off!" Tony complained, pushing Loki off.

"I scared her? You are the one who was childishly tickling me," he argued, attempting to fix his rumpled hair.

"Oh, yeah. Pepper, waiiiit!" Tony called, running after her. Loki seriously hoped the trip wasn't going to be like this.

**Author's note 2: I giggled whilst writing this X)**


	8. Truth or Dare?

**Author's note: Hehe I made myself laugh writing this chapter. Hope you like it! **

Loki rode, much to his disdain, in the back seat of the car. He didn't complain, though; Steve and Thor had to ride with the luggage. Clint had finally gotten his wish and was perched in the passenger seat. There wasn't any room left for poor Pepper, so she drove her own car. Tony, once again, was driving.

Loki had always wanted to try driving, but Tony wouldn't trust him with one of his cars. So instead, he sat crammed between Natasha and Bruce.

"Man of Iron, are you sure it is safe to ride in this machine without being in a seat?" Thor asked.

"Yeah. It's fine, Thundercloud. Don't worry about it. People do it all the time," Tony replied.

"Ooh, hey guys, let's sing a song!" Clint suggested brightly.

"I don't sing," Loki said flatly.

"You're going to now," Clint prodded.

"Actually, Clint, how about we don't sing," Tony said.

"Fine. Hey, Loki, truth or dare?"

"I don't understand."

"Just pick one."

"Dare."

"I dare you to sing," Clint said, grinning triumphantly.

"No," Loki defied.

"Dude, it's the rule. You have to do your dare or forever be known as a chicken," Tony said.

"I don't know any of your Midgardian songs," Loki argued.

"I'll teach you one!" Clint suggested, then proceeded to inform Loki of the lyrics to "Secrets" by OneRepublic. Loki thought the lyrics to be rather pointless, and he regretted not ignoring Clint when he had started the game of Truth or Dare.

"Now siiiing," Clint said dramatically, sounding more like he was singing opera than talking. Loki glared venomously before starting his performance. He was slightly surprised that he was able to memorize all the lyrics that quickly.

"Whoa, that was actually not horrible," Tony teased.

"But it wasn't that great either, so don't grow your ego too much," Natasha joked, poking him in the ribs.

"Alright, you've had your fun. Now truth and dare someone else," Loki pouted.

"Okay! Tony, truth or dare?" Clint said.

"Dare, man. Definitely."

"I dare you to roll down your window and scream at the next person we pass," said Clint.

"Okay," Tony replied, pressing the button to make the window go down. The next person they passed was a young man on a motorcycle. Tony screamed at the top of his lungs as they drove by, and the man looked like he was about to either have a heart attack or fall off his motorcycle. Loki couldn't help but laugh along with everyone else. The young man had looked completely terrified, and Tony had made a rather amusing face when he'd screamed.

"Okay, Steve, truth or dare?" Tony asked.

"Um…truth," he replied.

"Do you secretly think I look sexy in my Iron Man suit?"

"No, not really," Steve laughed. Tony looked at Steve in the mirror and stuck his tongue out.

"Clint, truth or dare," Bruce said.

"Truth."

"Was it you who ate Thor's PopTarts?"

"…yes."

"Do you have any idea how much chaos was caused by that?" Bruce questioned, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I had to hide in the air vents," Clint admitted. Bruce shook his head. "Oh, Clint," he sighed.

"Thor, truth or dare?" Natasha said.

"Hmm…I shall choose dare!" Thor announced.

"I dare you to lick Steve's shoe," she said.

"Lame," Tony called. But Thor completed his dare anyway, much to Steve's annoyance.

"Steve Rogers, your shoe tastes quite foul," Thor stated, wrinkling his nose.

"Sorry, I can't help it," he replied.

"How about we play a different game before this one gets too out-of-hand," Bruce suggested.

"Aww, fine," Tony sighed. "What would you like to play, Green Giant?"

"Don't call me that. And I don't know. I just didn't want this to get too awkward," Bruce replied.

"Aw, you're just a party pooper," Clint joked.

"I do not understand that phrase. How can one poop a party?" Thor asked.

"It's just an expression. It means you're lame," Clint explained. The next few minutes elapsed in silence until Clint broke it.

"Are we there yet?"

"Please refrain from starting that again," Loki said.

"No, seriously, are we there?"

"Does this look like the beach to you?" Tony asked, gesturing with his arm in a wide, sweeping motion.

"If the beach is made out of roads and cars and buildings, then yes," Clint said.

"Hey, look, I see Pepper behind us!" Steve said, looking out the rear window. He and Thor waved to her and she waved back. Loki gazed past Natasha and out the window, watching the suburban scenery blur past. He was getting quite sleepy from riding in the car so long, but he didn't trust the others enough to fall asleep in their company, especially when in such cramped conditions. But after a few minutes, his eyelids felt too heavy to stay open, and he let himself slip into unconsciousness.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Loki awoke to Clint's voice. "Yay! Finally, we're there!" he squealed. Loki yawned and arched his back, only then realizing he'd been leaning against Natasha for who knows how long.

"Oh! My apologies," he said, blushing and sitting up quickly.

"No, you're fine," Natasha replied. "You have really soft hair, you know."

"Told you it was awesome," Tony said. Loki gazed out the window at the picturesque seaside scenery. The waves lapped gently against the pale brown sand and birds flew overhead. Loki finally comprehended why people would want to travel here.

"Ooh, it's so pretty," Natasha breathed.

"I agree, Lady Natasha, it is quite beautiful," Thor said. "If only Jane could be here."

"Aww, it's okay, Thor. I'm sure you'll see her soon," Natasha assured, patting his shoulder. Tony pulled into a parking space and they were finally free of the confined spaces of the car. Loki stretched, glad to finally be able to move freely. He tapped his feet, trying to rid of the pins and needles and took a deep breath, inhaling the salty smell of the ocean. Pepper pulled up beside them and rolled her window down.

"I'll go check in to the hotel," she said.

"Okay. See ya," Tony replied.

"What are we going to do? We can't swim in our clothes," Natasha said as Pepper drove away.

"We could take turns changing in the car," Clint suggested.

"It's kinda cramped in there," Steve said.

"I'll make it work," Clint said, and he did, in record time.

"Wow, that was fast," Tony commented.

"That's how I roll," said Clint, crossing his arms and making a rather dramatic face. The rest of them followed Clint's example and in a few moments were changed and ready. Tony tossed the bottle of sunscreen at Loki and he caught it.

"You're gonna need some of that, trust me," Tony said seriously.

"So I simply apply it to my skin like lotion?" Loki clarified, uncapping the bottle.

"Yep. Make sure you get your ears. They hurt bad when they burn," Tony replied. Loki squeezed some of the sunscreen into the palm of his hand and began rubbing it into his arms and chest. He thought it felt strange and oily. Behind him, he heard Pepper pull up in her car. She killed the engine and climbed out.

"Okay, we're good. Our rooms are really nice," she said, shutting the car door.

"Do we have a tv?" Clint asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"Whoo-hoo!" He pumped his fist in the air as if having a television was the best thing in the world. Loki finished applying the sunscreen and passed the bottle to Steve. Loki really didn't see how the simple lotion-like substance was going to protect him from the sun. Also, it made his skin smell funny.

"What is that made of?" he asked, gesturing to the bottle in Steve's hand.

"I think it has zinc in it," he said thoughtfully. "Honestly, I have no idea."

"Thor!" someone screamed.

Loki recognized that voice. It belonged to none other than Jane Foster. She ran across the beach at full speed, kicking up clouds of sand in her wake.

"Awesome, I'm psychic! Told you you'd see her soon," Natasha joked. Jane leapt at Thor and gave his neck a crushing hug. Jane's friend, whom Loki remembered to be named Darcy, stood of to the side, looking a bit awkward.

"Actually, you're not psychic," Tony said. "I planned this. Because I'm just that amazing."

"Hey, it was my idea," Pepper reminded him. Tony stuck his tongue out at her.

"Jane, it's not fair that you get to date a freaking god while I have no one," Darcy complained.

"You could date Loki. He's a god," Tony teased, jabbing said god in the shoulder.

"Actually, Tony, there's only-" Steve began.

"Yeah, yeah. There's only one God, Loki and Thor are just aliens. I'm just making a point here, Capsicle," Tony said.

"Heh. Capsicle. That's clever," Darcy laughed.

"Why thank you," Tony replied. "I put some work into thinking of that."

"Tell me, Stark. Why do you insist on giving everyone these ridiculous nicknames instead of simply addressing us the way we prefer?" Loki asked, clasping his hands.

"I don't know. It's fun. You should try it sometime, Frosty," he said.

"You're good," Darcy commented. Tony shrugged. "It's what I do."

"Thank you, Man of Iron, for bringing Lady Jane here to be with us," Thor said.

"It's cool. Glad to see you appreciate it, Thunderpants," Tony replied.

"Hehe. That rhymes with underpants," Clint giggled.

"That was the point, Clint," Tony said.

"Seriously, you guys, it totally isn't fair that Jane gets the smoking hot alien boyfriend," Darcy persisted, crossing her arms. Tony stood behind Loki and dramatically pointed to his head with both hands.

"I would very much like it if you would stop that," Loki said calmly.

"I'm serious. You're single, right? Of course you are. I bet you don't even know what a girlfriend is," Tony taunted Loki.

"I have done many things none of you know about," Loki said vaguely.

"He once gave birth to an eight-legged steed," Thor remarked.

"SHUT IT, THOR. NO ONE ASKED YOU," Loki fumed.

"Dude, you're a GUY. How can you give birth when you're a GUY!" Clint gasped. Loki merely sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Aww, come on, you guys. Quit making fun of him," Darcy said.

"Does someone have a little crush on the man-lady?" Tony teased.

"No! I was just trying to be nice," she defended.

"I'm starting to feel ignored," Bruce said.

"Oh, sorry. Lovely weather we're having, eh?" Tony said, slapping his hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"You guys! Seriously! How can he have the right parts to-" Clint began.

"No one cares!" Loki snapped.

"More importantly, who in their right minds would like him enough to-"

"Shut up, Clint," Tony advised.

"But now I'm curious."

"Then go ask someone else. You're embarrassing the man-lady."

"Do not call me that," Loki hissed.

"You prefer Frosty, then?"

"No."

"Ok then, Reindeer Games it is."

"Can we actually do something besides argue?" Jane asked.

"Sure, Miss Thunderpants. What would you like to do?" Tony replied.

"I don't know…we could go swimming, maybe," she answered.

"Does everyone here have a nickname but me?" Darcy asked.

"You could be Taser Lady," Tony joked.

"What? He was freaking me out," she said.

"It's alright. Thor unsettles everyone," Loki said.

"I'm going swimming whether you guys are coming or not," Jane announced.

"I shall accompany her," Thor declared, following her towards the ocean.

"Eh, what the heck. Come on guys," Clint said, sprinting off down the beach. Loki tried his best to follow, finding it hard to run in the powdery sand. Once or twice he nearly tripped. He slowed down once he reached the shoreline and let the lukewarm water lap at his feet. Clint, Bruce, and Tony were involved in a war, throwing handfuls of wet sand at each other.

Jane was playfully splashing Thor and vice versa, while Steve showed Pepper and Natasha an interesting seashell he'd found. Darcy sat in the shallow water, letting the waves splash up around her. Loki thought she looked excluded. He took a seat beside her and drew his knees up to his chest, squinting against the harsh sun.

"So, you've really given up on the psychotic take-over-the-humans thing?" Darcy asked.

"Yes, I have," he replied.

"Good. Because you can be really scary when you want to," she teased, smiling up at him. He smiled back, truly content for the first time since his betrayal.


	9. A Misfortunate Freak of Nature

**Author's note: Hey, guys! Sorry this one's a bit short, I just couldn't think of a better way to end it. Also, THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! **

The sun began to set, casting beams of orange light across the calm ocean waters. Loki sat Indian-style in the sand, watching Clint and Steve finish building a sandcastle. A seagull landed beside him, clutching a shell in its beak. Loki reached out to stroke its head, but it flew away. The beach was surprisingly empty for such a nice night.

"You guys ready to go?" Tony asked.

"Yeah," Steve replied. Everyone agreed. Loki stood and wrapped a towel around his shoulders, noticing that it stung a bit as it rubbed over his skin.

"Whoa, dude, it looks like you got some sunburn," Clint said, pointing at Loki.

"Hmm?" He examined his skin, which was slowly gaining a reddish color. "Oh, so I have."

"Wow, that's ironic. The Frost Giant got a sunburn," Tony teased.

"I thought your lotion was supposed to protect me from this," Loki said, frowning slightly.

"It wears out after a while. Sometimes you gotta put more on. Also, you're, like, inhumanly pale, so you just burn easily," Tony explained. Loki sighed.

"Aww, it's okay. It'll go away in a few days," Jane said.

"You look like a strawberry," Clint joked.

"And you look like a misfortunate freak of nature," Loki retorted sharply.

"Be kind, please, brother," Thor said. Loki crossed his arms, wincing from the painful sunburn.

"This is not fair," he complained.

"I got some, too. On my cheeks," Pepper said. "So you're not alone."

"I have it much worse than you, Miss Potts," Loki sighed, stepping lightly over the sand towards the car. Without waiting for anyone's consent, he opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. Clint made a break for it, practically flying into the back seat.

"Yes! Finally! No more riding in the trunk!" he announced triuphantly. Loki, somewhat painfully, turned around to stare.

"Why must you be so immature?" he asked.

"It's better than being all uptight and proper like you," Clint answered as Natasha took a seat beside him.

"Hey, guys! I'm riding with you this time," Darcy said, sitting down on the other side of Clint. "Thor wanted to ride with Jane, so I figured I'd fill in for him."

"Whatever Clint tells you, we're not singing," Tony said, climbing into the driver's seat.

"Aww, Tony, you can be so boring sometimes," Clint whined. Tony chose to ignore him and started the engine.

"Hey, why do I have to ride in the back again?" Steve asked.

"It really isn't fun," Bruce agreed.

"Sorry, guys, this car isn't big enough for us to all have seats," Tony said.

"You're a billionaire! Buy a bigger one!" Clint suggested.

"Nah," Tony replied.

"So…," Darcy began.

"What?" Steve asked.

"I don't know what to talk about."

"Truth or dare?" Clint asked.

"No, Clint. No more of that," Loki insisted. A second later, Tony pulled into the hotel parking lot beside Pepper. Their engines shut off almost simultaneously while Jane parked several spaces over.

"Wow, we're even staying at the same hotel," Clint said. "You planned this well, Tony. I bet Thor's really happy."

"Yeah. I'm pretty much a genius," he replied, getting out of the car.

"Says the man who thought his social security number was five," Pepper retorted jokingly.

"I don't need to worry about stupid stuff like that," Tony said.

"It's actually kind of important to know your social security number, Tony," Bruce laughed.

"Actually, for me, it's important that Pepper knows it," he said. Darcy laughed.

"What is a social security number?" Loki asked.

"It's a nine-didgit number issued to all U.S. citizens so that they can be tracked in the social security program," Pepper explained. From across the parking lot, Loki heard somone scream.

"Did you hear that?" he questioned.

"Yeah, it sounded like-" Bruce began. Thor came around the side of Jane's large car with Jane attempting to ride on his shoulders, screaming and laughing. She lost her balance and fell backwards. Luckily, Thor had a grip on her legs, so she just hung there, giggling like a child. He crouched down and she dismounted, still laughing.

"Uh, hey guys," Steve said, a bit awkwardly.

"Hey," Jane greeted brightly, retying her ponytail.

"How was the car trip?"

"Boring. Tony wouldn't let us play truth or dare," Clint reported.

"That game can prove to be quite dangerous," Thor said.

"I agree. One time, I ended up being arrested for a dare," Tony said seriously.

"What did you do?" Natasha asked.

"You don't want to know, trust me," Tony replied.

"Yes, I do."

"Let's go check out our rooms!" Tony said quickly, changing the subject and leading them into the hotel. Their rooms were on the fifth floor. Loki discovered he was to share a room with Thor and Jane. 'Oh, lovely,' he thought glumly. Tony must have seen the look on his face; he clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, "It's okay, Frosty. You'll survive, probably."

"Thank you, Stark. How reassuring," he remarked sarcastically, sulkily entering his room. Loki shut the door behind him, none too gently. Grabbing his clothes, he entered the bathroom to change. He examined his reflection in the mirror, finally able to fully appreciate the level of damage the sunburn had done. Most of his skin besides the neck, ears, and other unmentionable areas, was a deep pink. He gently poked his shoulder, cringing at the sting.

Sighing, he gingerly pulled on his clothes and exited the bathroom. Loki thought the hotel room smelled odd, and it looked like whoever designed it was trying too hard to create a welcoming atmosphere. The large radiator underneath the window seemed strangely out of place, contrasting starkly with the soft look of the rest of the room. Also, it emitted a rather unsettling noise. Loki, of course, ended up having to sleep in the bed closest to the radiator, as Thor and Jane had already claimed the other one. He briefly considered sleeping on the sofa, but decided that the cramps that would most definitely follow weren't worth it.

So instead, he scooted as far away from the radiator as possible, laying on his side and covering his ear with the blanket. It didn't help much, so he tried to drown out the noise with his thoughts.

"Goodnight, Loki," Thor said.

"Goodnight…brother," Loki sighed, turning over and almost instantly falling into a dreamless sleep.


	10. Tony's Lovely Story

**Author's note: Ok guys, I actually had to do some real research for this chapter because I had no idea what was invented in the thirties or forties. So appreciate my work and review, 'kay? Even if you don't like this chapter (or this story) at least this has some educational value :) **

Loki woke to someone poking him incessantly in the back.

"What do you want?" he asked blearily, covering his head with the pillow.

"It's, like, ten in the morning. Everyone else is awake." Loki sighed. Why was Stark in his room?

"What are you doing in here?" Loki demanded, almost fully awake now.

"Uh…breathing, talking, thinking, being awesome, the works," he replied. Loki sat up and pushed his blanket down to the end of the bed. If possible, his sunburn seemed worse.

"Where are Thor and Jane?" Loki questioned, slipping out of the bed and raking a hand through his hair.

"First floor. Did you know you get free breakfast here?" Tony answered.

"I don't really care. May I use a hairbrush?" Loki said. Tony picked one up off of the table and threw it at Loki. It hit him in the chest and fell to the floor.

"Are you incapable of simply handing it to me like a civilized human being?" he spat, bending to retrieve the fallen hairbrush.

"Yes. Now come on before they stop serving breakfast," Tony urged. Loki quickly brushed his hair and pulled on his boots. Tony led him out into the hallway where they boarded the elevator.

"Would you do the honors?" Tony asked dramatically, gesturing to the panel of buttons. Loki smiled mischievously and slid his hand down the panel, pressing every button. He dashed out of the elevator at the last second, leaving a cursing Tony inside. Laughing under his breath, Loki hurried down the stairs and waited.

"What's with you?" Clint asked.

"I have caused Stark a bit of inconvenience," Loki giggled as the elevator arrived. The door dinged and slid open, revealing a very irked Tony.

"I told you I know how to have fun," Loki teased.

"Oh, haha. We are all laughing so hard right now," Tony said sarcastically.

"Actually, that was kinda funny," Clint said. "I did something like that to Natasha a few months ago."

"You locked me in our motel room with a rabid racoon! How is that anything like what just happened!?" Natasha snapped.

"I don't know, but it was hilarious," Clint laughed.

"NO IT WASN'T."

"You still love me, though, right?" Clint teased. Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Muffin?" Darcy offered, holding one out to Loki. Eyeing it suspiciously, Loki took it. It was packaged in clear plastic, which proclaimed its flavor as blueberry. He tore open the wrapper and smelled the muffin. Deciding it wasn't deadly, he broke off a piece and ate it.

"Where is Thor?" Loki asked.

"I think he went to go ask if they had any PopTarts," Bruce answered.

"You know, I have never actually tried one of those before," Loki said, taking another bite of the muffin.

"Really? They're pretty good," Darcy said.

"Back in my day, there were no PopTarts," Steve commented.

"There wasn't anything back in your day," Tony joked.

"Nazis?" Clint suggested.

"There were actually quite a few notable inventions in the thirties and forties. Like the Slinky, Silly Putty, and the atomic bomb," Steve defended.

"'Cause they needed the atomic bomb to blow up all the Nazis!" Clint joked.

"Dude, you're older than Silly Putty?" Tony asked.

"You really can't call Steve old when you're in the same building with two ancient, immortal aliens," Bruce pointed out.

"Good point," Clint agreed.

"Whoa, Loki, did you know George Washington?" Darcy asked.

"No. I'm afraid I have never heard of a George Washington," Loki replied.

"He was the first President," Pepper informed.

"Intriguing," Loki said halfheartedly. Right about then, Thor returned with a box of cherry PopTarts.

"Oh, good. Now Loki can finally try one," Tony said, grabbing the box from Thor. He opened it and pulled out one of the foil packages, tossing it to Loki.

"Do you not need to heat these before consuming them?" Loki questioned, tearing off the thin foil.

"You can, but you don't have to," Jane answered. Loki broke the PopTart in half and took an experimental bite. He thought it tasted almost fake, but it wasn't bad.

"Do you like it?" Darcy said.

"I suppose," he replied, brushing the crumbs from his fingers. "Someone else may have the rest."

"I'll take it," Darcy announced, reaching across the table. Loki gently pushed it towards her with his index finger.

"So what are we doing today?" Clint asked, drumming his fingers on the table.

"I heard there's an awesome mall around here," Darcy suggested.

"What is this place you call a mall?" Thor asked.

"It's a big building with different stores inside," Bruce said.

"You just made it sound super lame," Tony teased.

"It's better when you actually see it in person," Jane said.

"Then we shall venture to this mall!" Thor declared.

"He's adorable," Jane giggled.

"Did I say something wrong?" Thor questioned.

"No! You're fine! It's just the way you talk; it's cute," Jane explained.

"This manner of speaking is normal on Asgard," Thor said.

"And here, if you live in the eighteen hundreds," Tony said.

"Which none of us do," Natasha commented.

"Except for Steve's mom," Tony deadpanned.

"Why does everyone make jokes about each other's mother these days?" Steve asked.

"That wasn't a joke, Capsicle," said Tony.

"So are we going to the mall or not?" Darcy said impatiently.

"I would prefer not to," Loki declared.

"But malls are so fun! There's a ton of stuff to look at," Darcy argued.

"The last time I participated in a shopping trip, I ended up being assaulted with candy by Barton," Loki said.

"It's good target practice," Clint said.

"As if you need to practice," Loki spat.

"Oh! Was that a compliment?" Clint taunted. Loki merely scowled, causing Clint to grin teasingly.

"Guys, seriously, are we going?" Darcy was now irritatingly tapping her heel against the floor.

"Sure," Jane said.

"No, please, do not torture me so," Loki pleaded.

"But it's just so fun," Tony joked, standing up and pushing his chair in.

"Yay!" Darcy exclaimed, bouncing up from her chair. "I love the mall. It's so much fun!"

"Gosh, girl, you're almost as bad as Clint on a sugar high," Natasha said.

"Sorry." Darcy grabbed the hand of the person nearest to her, who happened to be Loki, and dragged him out of the hotel with the others close behind. A moment later, Loki found himself in the back seat of the car between Darcy and Steve. He sighed, noticing his hand felt warm. Clearing his throat softly, he gently pulled it out of Darcy's.

"Ooh, sorry, I didn't notice," she apologized quickly, blushing. Loki nodded slightly and clasped his hands in his lap.

"Now can we play truth or dare?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, Tony, can we?" Darcy echoed.

"Ok, listen up, children. I am going to tell you a story to teach you the dangers of truth or dare," Tony began. "Back when I was in college, I was playing truth or dare with a few of my friends whose names I can't recall at the moment. One of my friends dared me to run down the street to this convenience store-naked. And, as you probably guessed, I was arrested. Luckily, my father cared enough to bail me out, just so I'd stay in school. So, moral of the story, don't play truth or dare. Ever."

"Lovely story, Stark. I assume the consumption of alcohol was involved?" Loki said.

"So what if it was? Truth or dare is still dangerous," Tony replied. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Well, we're going to play anyway," Clint declared.

"Oh, it appears we have arrived," Loki reported, glad to have once again weaseled out of the game. True to Bruce's description, the mall was indeed a big building. The parking lot bustled with people, mostly teenagers, lugging shopping bags and parking their cars. Loki could already tell that the inside was going to make him feel quite claustrophobic. Tony parked rather too far away from the entrance for Loki's liking, but he couldn't complain; all the nearer spots were occupied.

"Wow, this place does look awesome," Darcy said excitedly as they trekked across the expansive parking lot. Just as Loki had suspected, the inside was positively crawling with people. Everywhere he looked, there was someone window shopping, talking on cell phones, or simply loitering and conversing with friends.

"I'm taking Old Timer to the Apple store to get him up-to-date on modern technology so he'll stop asking so many questions," Tony announced, leading Steve away through the crowd as Jane, Thor, and Pepper arrived.

"This is truly marvelous!" Thor declared, taking in the busy scenery.

"Nerve-racking, you mean?" Loki mumbled.

"I'm gonna go see if they have that jacket I was looking for at the mall back home," Darcy said.

"Why don't you go with her, Loki?" Clint suggested.

"Oh, great idea! Come on!" Darcy agreed, hurrying off with Loki in tow. Loki glanced over his shoulder and shot Clint the what-were-you-thinking-you-stupid-mortal glare. Clint merely grinned and wiggled his fingers in a small wave. Darcy led Loki into a store, which seemed surprisingly quieter than the oppressive crowds in the hallways. Other than the relatively soft music, there was little to be heard.

"May I ask what it is exactly that we search for?" Loki questioned, crossing his arms. He winced a little, for the sunburn still troubled him.

"A jacket. I've got a picture of it on my phone," she responded, pulling out her cell phone and presenting a photograph to Loki.

"Hmm." He examined the photo for a moment before Darcy returned the phone to her bag. Loki walked over to a rack of clothing and began looking through it. Why anyone would wear some of those things was beyond him. He sorted through a few more clothing articles before something caught his eye.

"Is this it?" he asked, holding up a purple jacket, which was strikingly similar to the one in Darcy's picture.

"Yes! Ooh, thank you!" she squealed, snatching the jacket from Loki. "It's even my size!"

"Glad I could be of service," Loki replied. Without thinking, Darcy gave Loki a quick kiss before scampering off to purchace the jacket.

"Hmm. I believe even my lips have been sunburned," Loki mused to himself.


	11. The Rogue Experiment

**Author's note: So the other day, I was trying to remember the capital of Alaska, and the only word I could think of was Jotunheim...yep, I've definitely been writing a tad too much FanFiction. Oh, well! Enjoy the story!**

Exhausted from the extensive mall trip and more than happy to be back at the hotel, Loki sat down heavily on the sofa in his room, sighing. He pulled off his boots and set them neatly on the floor beside him as Thor and Jane entered, closing the door behind them.

"Did you have a good time?" Jane asked.

"Not particularly, thank you," Loki replied glumly.

"Well, on the bright side, you helped Darcy find the jacket she was looking for!" Jane said cheerfully.

"That resulted in the discovery that even my lips have been sunburned," Loki complained.

"How?" Jane questioned, frowning. "Wait. Oh, my gosh. Did she kiss you?"

"Sadly, yes," he sighed.

"No, not sadly! That's great! That means she likes you," Jane said.

"Perhaps, but it does not mean I feel the same." Loki swung his legs up onto the couch and laid his head on the armrest.

"Oh, come on! She's awesome once you get to know her, even if she can get a bit annoying sometimes," Jane prodded. Loki tucked one hand behind his head and let the other one dangle onto the floor, only half-listening to Jane.

"Why is it that I find that hard to believe?" he asked, his lip curling in a slight sneer.

"Aww, just give her a chance," said Jane.

"I do believe you could be quite happy together," Thor offered.

"Will you please stop interfering with my personal issues?" Loki snapped.

"You're right. Sorry," Jane sighed.

"Thank you." They lapsed into silence, and Loki was perfectly fine with that. He felt himself begin to fall asleep, but a crash from the neighboring room jerked him into full consciousness.

"What was that?" Jane gasped, running for the door with Loki and Thor right behind her. The hallway was empty, so Jane knocked on the door to the room from where the noise had been emitted. It opened to a slightly frazzled Tony and a traumatized Steve.

"Tony, what did you do?" Jane asked with a rather motherly tone.

"Er, well, it's kinda hard to explain," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Steve, what did he do to you?" she called, staring over Tony's shoulder.

"Uh, nothing. He was building something-I don't know what-and all the sudden it went wacky and flew out the window and I think it might have hit someone," he explained quickly.

"I already told you I was trying to modify the repulsors on my suit," Tony said impatiently. "But now part of it's gone out the window."

"We are in a hotel, not your personal lab!" Pepper said, coming up behind Loki, obviously having heard the crash as well.

"So? I just had this idea and I would'a forgotten it by the time we got back home," he defended.

"That's why you write things down," Pepper argued, crossing her arms.

"Who says I could've kept track of the paper?"

"You're hopeless."

"That's why I have you!"

"Whatever, Tony. Just clean this up. I'm going to have to somehow explain the broken window to the hotel manager, and yes, you're paying to fix it," Pepper sighed, shaking her head and striding purposefully down the hall.

"She isn't wrong, you know," Loki sneered. "You are hopeless."

"What did I tell you about being kind, brother?" Thor asked firmly. Loki merely frowned, his green eyes blazing with annoyance.

"So what exactly was it that flew out the window?" Jane inquired, entering the room and treading lightly, watchful of the shattered glass.

"The left gauntlet. I was trying to make it so that the repulsors could fire without using up so much energy," Tony explained. "Now I have to go outside and find it."

"You'd better go now before someone finds it and decides to keep it," Jane advised, staring out the broken window.

"Yeah, good plan. You coming, Capsicle?" Tony said, pulling on his shoes.

"No, thank you. I've dealt with enough of your shenanigans for one day," Steve replied.

"Wow," Tony stated.

"What?"

"You said shenanigans."

"So?"

"No one says that anymore."

"_I_ do."

"Yeah, of course you do, Grandpa," Tony joked, pushing past Loki and hurrying down the hall.

"I wonder if he'll find it," Jane mused. Steve shrugged.

"I guess we'll know when he comes back."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Tony came back exactly thirty-four minutes later with his gauntlet, looking rather winded.

"What happened?" Natasha asked, poking her head out the door of her room.

"Tony's expirament flew out the window," Jane explained nonchalantly.

"I had to chase some kid six blocks to get it back," Tony complained. Clint laughed, standing beside Natasha in the doorway.

"It isn't funny," Tony grumbled.

"At least you got it back," said Jane.

"I have been meaning to ask you something, Stark," Loki began, examining his fingernails. "When are we going home?"

"Tomorrow. Why? You not enjoying the trip?" Tony responded.

"No, I am not."

"Really? I'm having fun." At that moment, Pepper returned, exasperated.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked.

"Trying to explain to a grumpy and half-deaf hotel manager that your boyfriend broke his window isn't exactly fun," she pouted.

"Sorry! I didn't know it was gonna do that," Tony said, crossing his arms.

"You also didn't know that bomb was going to destroy your lab. Maybe you should start paying more attention to your work," Bruce advised.

"I agree; if you do not, one of us may end up dead," Loki said.

"I know what I'm doing, guys. I am a genius after all," Tony argued.

"By what standards?" Loki quipped, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, shut it, Reindeer Games," Tony snapped. Loki smirked in reply.

"Do you guys ever stop?" Jane asked.

"No. We live to argue with each other. It's our divine purpose," Tony replied.

"Really? I was led to believe your purpose was being the living definition of arrogant," Loki said.

"You're just full of it, aren't you?" Tony asked, shaking his head.

"My brother does have a reputation for being witty," Thor said.

"Well, it's annoying."

"Alright, enough with the pointless banter," Pepper sighed, holding up a hand.

"Yeah, let's go do something that's actually fun," Clint suggested.

"Like what?" Loki inquired uninterestedly.

"Hm…we could go to the beach again, you know, since we leave tomorrow," he answered.

"I am still quite sunburnt, thank you," said Loki.

"Poo. Uh, we could, hmm…I got nothing," Clint said, throwing up his hands in exasperation.

"Oh, and before anyone suggests anything else, we are not going shopping," Loki demanded.

"Yeah, I'm sick of shopping, too," Clint agreed. "Oh! We could go prank random people."

"And get arrested? No thanks," Bruce replied.

"Fine, you don't have to. But I'm gonna have some fun while we haven't got anything else to do," Clint announced, stalking off down the hall.

"I shall accompany him. Who could pass up a bit of good pranking?" Loki said, hurrying to catch up with Clint. He followed him down the hallway, past the rows and rows of identical doors.

"What exactly are we doing?" Loki inquired.

"Pepper said there was a grumpy, half-deaf hotel manager. I think it could be real fun to mess with him," Clint replied. Loki nodded silently.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I don't know. I'm just gonna wing it."

"What kind of joke is that? You need a plan of action," Loki said.

"Nah, I'll be fine. Whoaaa…," Clint trailed off, staring at Loki with his mouth slightly agape.

"What?" Loki asked.

"Is…is that natural?" Clint said.

"I do not understand what you're asking," said Loki, frowning. Clint grabbed his arm and dragged him into the bathroom, pushing him to stand in front of the mirror. Loki gazed steadily at his reflection, his expression unreadable. "Oh," was all he could say.

**Author's note 2: Sorry to leave you guys hanging like this, but I gotta keep you interested! Just hang in there, next chapter is coming soon!**


	12. More Than Just a Shadow

**Author's note: Someone sent me a review saying that Darcy and Loki were the worst couple ever...sorry if you hate it, but I think it's cute. If you don't like my story, oh well. But thanks to all the people who do! By the way, sorry this chapter isn't as funny. I just had to kinda create a plot line because this was going nowhere. It will go back to the more humorous stuff next chapter, I promise. **

"Uh, Loki, you've got something on your face," Tony said as Clint led Loki down the hall.

"I _know_," he snapped, crossing his arms. The entire left side of his face, along with most of his right arm was a vivid, mottled azure.

"Why?" Tony questioned.

"I had always used a spell to mask my other form. When Odin took my magic, I could no longer perform the spell, and I believe the effects are wearing off," Loki explained.

"Ohh. I see. So now you're gonna be all blue and freaky?" Tony clarified.

"I would not phrase it that way, but yes," Loki sighed.

"Hey, guys, why are we all out in the hallway?" Darcy asked, exiting her room. "Oh, wow…"

"I'd prefer you didn't stare," Loki said, frowning.

"Uh…sorry…," she replied, hesitantly shifting her gaze. Loki pushed past Tony and Clint to enter his room. Slamming the door behind him, he flopped down heavily onto the bed. A second later, the door opened again and Darcy sat down quietly beside him.

"What do you want?" he hissed.

"You know, it doesn't matter what other people think," Darcy said, staring blankly at the wall.

"To me it does. I despise who I am, and having it displayed for everyone else to see, knowing I can't do anything about it is agonizing," Loki responded.

"You shouldn't hate yourself for something that's neither your fault nor something you can change. Loki, you're a wonderful person, and I hope someday you can realize that," Darcy said gently. Loki sat up and stared down at her.

"You don't mean a word of that, do you? Thor put you up to this, I'm sure of it." He watched as his right hand slowly tinted blue.

"No, he didn't. I came in here to talk to you because I wanted to, and yes, I meant every single word," Darcy assured, almost whispering at the end. "And, just so you know, I think blue looks pretty hot on you."

"I always thought green was more my color," Loki said, smiling slightly. Darcy smiled back, and before Loki had a chance to protest, she slung her arms around his neck and kissed him. At first, Loki tried to pull away, but Darcy wouldn't allow it, so eventually he gave in. He nearly jumped a mile into the air when he heard the door open. Quickly pulling away, Loki turned to find himself staring right at none other than Thor.

"I apologize for interrupting you, brother," Thor stated with an uncharacteristically mischievous glint in his eyes. Loki cleared his throat. "It is alright," he said, combing his fingers through his hair. He knew he would've been blushing if his skin had been it's normal color, but the spell had almost completely worn off, leaving him mostly a frosty shade of azure.

"I heard of your…predicament," Thor said. Loki sighed. "Do you know of a way to help?"

"The only solution I am sure of is if Father returns your magic," Thor answered.

"I suspected as much." Loki stood, clasped his hands, and began to pace.

"If you wish, I shall attempt to communicate with him and request the repossession of your magic," Thor suggested.

"That would be helpful," Loki said sharply. Thor gave a short nod and left.

"I'm sorry," Darcy muttered.

"For what?" Loki asked, ceasing his pacing.

"Kissing you like that. I shouldn't have done it," she responded meekly.

"I rather enjoyed it," Loki said cheekily. Darcy blushed lightly and stared down at her feet. Suddenly, a rather distracting racket emitted from the ceiling.

"Clint! Get your elbow out of my face!" someone's muffled voice said.

"I'm sorry! There's limited room in here!" Clint hissed. Loki sighed, pulled over a chair, stood on it, and banged the ceiling with his fist.

"Hey!" he yelled. Someone, most likely Clint, yelped in surprise.

"Why were you eavesdropping?" Loki snapped loudly.

"It was Tony's idea!" Clint replied.

"You little snitch!" Tony exclaimed. Loki smacked the ceiling again. "Get out here!" he demanded. The air vent's grate slid away and Clint dropped gracefully onto the sofa. Tony followed, much less nimbly, and fell face down in the floor.

"Ow," he mumbled into the carpet. Clint laughed and kicked him gently in the ribs.

"Alright, you two," Loki sneered, pacing back and forth in front of them. "Tell me, what did you find so interesting that it compelled you to hide in the ventilation system to pry into my personal business?"

"I'm pretty sure you were making out just a second ago. That's prime blackmail material," Tony replied smugly, sitting up and leaning against the sofa.

"Hmm. Let's say, _hypothetically_, I was. What could you possibly gain by blackmailing me? More importantly, who would even care?" Loki said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know. It's just fun to know your secrets," Tony answered, his sentence punctuated by Thor's return.

"I have contacted Father," Thor reported. "He was reluctant, but he has agreed to return your magic after he monitors you for a week's time to assure you are truly worthy of your power."

"Have I not already proven myself?" Loki fumed. "What else must I do? It never has been easy to please Odin, because trust me, I have tried. The sole reason I attempted to conquer Midgard was to show him that I could be just as good a warrior as you, Thor. But still, it isn't enough." Loki was torn between wanting to scream in fury or cry.

"You are always good enough to me, brother," Thor comforted.

"Am I?" Loki hissed harshly.

"If it were my choice, you would have your magic now. I trust you with my life, Loki. You are my brother, even if not by blood," Thor said. Loki was struggling to keep up his facade, tears stinging the corners of his eyes.

"Odin obviously does not share your opinion. He has always loved you more than I, and you know it. I am aware we have argued this before, but I speak what I know, and I know better than anyone that I will forever be a mere shadow of the mighty Thor," Loki spat.

"You're more than just a shadow to me," Darcy whispered.

"One person," Loki sighed. "One single person sees me for who I am."

"Hey, I actually think you're pretty cool," Clint said. "No pun intended."

"When you're not being all uptight and insulting, you're not too bad," Tony agreed.

"You're one of us now," Dr. Banner said, walking past the open door with an armful of laundry.

"You know I love you, brother. Always," Thor assured, smiling. Loki stared down at the carpeted floor.

"Remember when we were young and we used to hide in the garden until Father would have to come and find us and carry us inside when it was time for dinner?" Loki mused.

Thor laughed. "Yes, I do. I also remember how you would spend your days in the library instead of hunting and training."

"I never understood why you never enjoyed reading as much as I," Loki replied, the corner of his mouth curling in a half-grin. For a moment, there was nothing but silence until Tony spoke.

"Ok, I hate to break up the deep brotherly moment, but this is getting a bit awkward for me and Legolas here," he remarked.

"Sorry," Loki sighed.

"Well, it's getting late," Clint commented, staring out the window at the dusky horizon. He climbed off the sofa and left, Tony and Darcy close behind.

"Goodnight," she said before softly closing the door behind her. Loki curled up in the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chin. He was already asleep by the time Jane came in five minutes later.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

For the first time, Loki was happy to see Stark's tower. The long car drive had been worth being able to get away from the hotel. Loki really wasn't fond of hotels. The only thing putting a damper on his good mood was the fact that his skin was still very blue. But he only had to endure six more days of spotless behavior until Odin returned his magic.

Loki dropped a suitcase heavily on the ground beside the door and sighed. His boots clicked softly as he walked over to the refrigerator to pour himself a glass of water. He raised the glass to his mouth, but before he could take a drink, someone yelled in his ear, scaring him terribly. He jumped as the cup slipped from his hand and spilled its contents in the floor.

"Stark! What is wrong with you?" he snapped, spinning around to face Tony, who was grinning rather stupidly.

"Nothing's wrong with me. I'm awesome in every way," Tony replied.

"You made me spill water all over your floor!" Loki said, pointing his index finger at the mess.

"Yeah, you might wanna clean that up," Tony suggested. Loki glared harshly and ripped a paper towel from the roll. He dropped it to the floor and stepped on it so that it soaked up the water, then picked it up and tossed it into the trash can, wishing for his magic. Life was so much easier when you could simply cast a spell and your work was done for you.


	13. Just Like Old Times

**Author's note: I hereby present chapter 13! Thanks to all you reviewers out there, especially chatnoir1, whom I believe has reviewed every last one of these chapters. You make me happy X) Anyway, this is the last chapter before I start school, which will most likely mean less frequent updates. But don't worry, I won't abandon you guys! I've already started work on chapter 14, so it should be up before too long. I'll stop talking now so you guys can read. **

The next six days passed by uneventfully. Loki had waited in anticipation until the dawn of the final day, trying to restrain his spiteful comments and mischievous behavior as much as possible. Finally, he was to receive his magic. Standing beside Thor on the roof of the tower, Loki waited calmly and silently. He didn't know what was going to happen, if he would simply regain his powers here and now, or if he would need to travel to Asgard to face Odin in person. After a few moments of smothering silence, something happened.

Loki hissed in his breath sharply as an electric jolt shot up his spine. His skin glowed dimly and he could feel his magic coursing through his veins, pulsing with every heartbeat. He had never felt more alert, more alive. Almost too soon, it ended, and he doubled over, resting his hands on his knees. Breathing heavily, Loki stood up straight and conjured up the magic he knew would mask his Frost Giant heritage. His skin steadily regained its usual pale color and he sighed in relief.

"That's it?" Thor inquired, squinting up at the sky.

"I am surprised he didn't make us go up there," Loki remarked, staring up at Thor.

"I am just relieved that your powers have returned," Thor replied. Loki shot him a crooked grin.

"Race you," he said, darting off to the living room four floors below them.

"You gave yourself a head start!" Thor called, running after him. Loki only laughed and ran faster. This reminded him so much of the fun he and Thor used to have in their childhood, and it felt good. Loki skidded to a stop in the middle of the living room, panting lightly.

"I win!" he declared as Thor came to stand beside him.

"Only because you cheated," Thor teased, clapping Loki on the shoulder. Loki winced slightly as his knees almost buckled. Sometimes Thor didn't know his own strength.

"Where is everyone?" Loki asked, only just realizing the emptiness of the room.

"Perhaps they are still asleep. It is quite early, you know," Thor suggested. Loki glanced at a clock, which read five a.m.

"You're right," Loki agreed, smiling slyly. Snatching a black marker from the nearby table, he sprinted off to Tony's bedroom. He stopped, walking silently as he neared the closed door. Slowly, Loki opened it, hoping it wouldn't make a sound. Uncapping the marker, he crept closer to Tony. He was laying on his back, mouth agape and snoring softly.

Loki's foot caught on something and he tripped, cursing under his breath. The only light came through the curtained window and Tony's arc reactor, making it dim inside the room. Tony muttered something in his sleep and Loki froze, hoping he wouldn't wake. After a long moment, he lowered the marker and wrote "Loki'd!" across Tony's forehead. Grinning smugly, Loki hurried silently out of the bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind him.

"What have you done now, Loki?" Thor asked good-naturedly.

"You shall see," he answered vaguely. Thor merely shook his head and walked off down the hallway.

"Hey, where are you going?" Loki called. Before Thor could answer, Tony's door opened and he stepped out into the hallway, looking like he was still mostly asleep.

"What's your deal? If you wanna wake up this early, at least be quiet so everyone else can sleep until it can actually count as morning," Tony complained. Loki struggled to keep a straight face; he couldn't take Tony seriously with the writing on his face.

"Sorry," Loki said.

"Why do you keep looking at me funny?" Tony inquired, frowning.

"Oh, it's nothing," Loki lied.

"Is there something on my face?" Tony rubbed a hand across his cheek and squinted at his fingers.

"No?" Loki couldn't help but laugh now. "I mean…ehehe, yes, there is!"

"Where?" Tony wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt, looking rather confused.

"Your forehead," Loki answered. Tony scowled and pushed past him, stalking down the hall to the bathroom.

"LOKI!" he snapped angrily. Loki stood in the doorway of the bathroom, giggling.

"What?" he asked, faking ignorance. Tony pointed sharply to his forehead. "Do you not see this!?"

"Of course. I'm the one who wrote it there," Loki said, waving the marker in Tony's face. Tony grabbed it, removed the cap, and pointed it threateningly at Loki.

"Oh, I'm terribly frightened," Loki sighed sarcastically. Tony poked Loki's nose with the marker, leaving a black dot behind. Loki swiped it away while the ink was still wet so that it was mostly gone. Tony licked his finger and attempted to scrub the writing from his forehead.

"I'm gonna get you for this," he grumbled, glowering at Loki.

"I am sure you will," Loki replied, unconcerned. Moments later, Loki found himself running down the hallway, chased by a marker-wielding Tony. Loki almost made it into the kitchen before he ran right into Steve.

"Whoa, calm down, buddy," Steve said, grabbing Loki by the shoulders and holding him at arm's length.

"Sorry," Loki replied quickly, extracting himself from Steve's grip and sprinting off down the stairs.

"What's his problem?" Steve muttered to himself. A second later, Tony dashed past with the marker.

"Hey Cap," he greeted quickly. Before Steve could answer, he was gone. Steve shrugged and proceeded to make a cup of coffee. Tony and Loki ran past two more times before Tony stopped and held up a hand, panting.

"Okay," he gasped. "Enough."

"I knew you'd give up eventually," Loki said, grabbing his marker from Tony.

"Um, Tony," Steve began, gesturing at his forehead.

"Yeah, I know," Tony spat, glaring at Loki.

"Loki'd," Steve read aloud. "What does that mean?"

"It means he's been pranked. By me," Loki replied, snickering.

"Uh, alright then," Steve said, adding a packet of sugar to his coffee and muttering something about newfangled phrases as Natasha entered the kitchen.

"Wow, everyone's up so early today," she remarked. "I didn't know you could even function this early, Tony."

"Yeah, me neither," Tony sighed.

"I see you've been Loki'd," Natasha commented. Tony glared and Loki smiled.

"Oh, Loki, you're looking less…blue this morning," she said.

"Odin finally returned my magic," Loki replied.

"That's great. Or, knowing you, maybe not so great," Natasha said.

"Oh, don't worry, I shan't kill anyone," Loki responded breezily with a wave of his hand.

"Shan't," Tony mused. "That's a funny word."

"It is a perfectly acceptable word," Loki argued.

"Yeah, if you talk like you're from one of Shakespeare's plays," Tony countered.

"Who is this Shakespeare?" Loki inquired.

"He wrote a lot of famous plays," Natasha informed.

"And everyone in them talked like you," Tony added.

"I should like to meet him," Loki decided.

"He's dead," Steve said. "Sorry."

"Hey, where'd Thunderpants go?" Tony asked.

"I think he went to go see if Jane was awake yet. I saw him outside her bedroom," Natasha responded. As if on cue, Thor appeared in the doorway with a half-asleep Jane close behind.

"Thor, why are we up this early?" she questioned.

"Loki and I awoke early to wait for Father to return Loki's magic," he explained.

"Well, that's great, but why do we all need to be up at the crack of dawn?" Clint, who had come up behind Thor, asked.

"Loki awoke Tony Stark, I believe Lady Natasha and Steve Rogers were already awake, and I awoke Jane," Thor replied. "I do not know why you are awake."

"I'm awake because I could hear people running all over the house and talking," Clint complained.

"The running part was Loki's fault," Tony blamed.

"You are the one who threatened me with the writing utensil," Loki retorted.

"You're the one who wrote on me while I was sleeping!" Tony yelled. Loki just frowned at him. Pepper entered and shook her head, toting a stack of files.

"You two are hopeless," she sighed, dropping the files onto the table.

"We just argue 'cause it's fun. We're really friends, right, Reindeer Games?" Tony said.

"I do not know if I would use the term 'friends' on this occasion," Loki answered. "Especially when you insist on calling me all of those vexing nicknames."

"It's more fun than just saying 'Loki' all the time. That gets boring," Tony replied.

"I actually think Loki is a fun name," Natasha said. "It's fun to say. Loki."

"Really? I always thought Steve was fun to say," Tony mused. "Steve! Like that weird monkey from that movie."

"Oh, I remember that movie. It was really demented," Jane said.

"Yes. Yes it was. But you gotta admit, it would be pretty awesome if there was a spaghetti tornado," Tony laughed.

"I'm so confused," Steve interjected.

"We know you are, Cap," Tony said. Steve blinked at him. "Care to explain?" he requested.

"It was just some movie. Something about meatballs. There was a talking monkey and basically all it said was 'Steve.' And it was, like, obsessed with gummy bears," Natasha responded.

"That does sound kind of demented," Steve agreed. "Movies were so much more practical in the forties."

"And boring. And black and white," Tony teased.

"At least there were no gummy bear monkey spaghetti tornadoes," Steve argued.

"And Pepper said I was hopeless," Tony muttered.

"You're all hopeless," Pepper decided, sorting through the stack of files. She had gotten about halfway through when she moved her arm, her elbow sending a cascade of important documents to the floor.

"Oh, dang it!" she grumbled. Papers were everywhere, scattered on the floor and all over the table. One had even floated on a draft from the air conditioning and plastered itself over Loki's face. Muttering under his breath, he crumpled the paper in his fist and threw it at Pepper.

"Urgh, I'm never going to get this cleaned up," Pepper groaned, straightening out the paper.

"Perhaps a bit of magic could be of assistance?" Loki suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, thank you," Pepper sighed in relief. Loki began performing a spell, causing the papers to float up in the air and come together in a neat stack. Tony, who had stopped paying attention long ago, exclaimed, "Whoa! Floating paper!?" His sudden outburst shattered Loki's concentration, and with a burst of green light, Loki fainted.

He awoke a minute later to a still-cluttered room and a group of rather concerned Avengers, plus Pepper. Loki glanced around, wincing from his newly acquired throbbing headache. It took less than a second for him to register that Stark's interruption had caused something to go horribly wrong.

**Author's note; Behold, by second attempt at a cliffhanger! Hopefully you psychics out there won't guess what's going to happen again...I feel like this one's way less obvious. By the way, REVIEW PLEASE :D**


	14. A Fatal Interruption

**Author's note: Sorry it took longer than usual to update. You know, school and all. And this would have been up even later than today if someone (coughcough stardust light coughcough) hadn't nagged me incessantly. So thank her. On with the story!**

Loki blinked. Half of him refused to believe this wasn't all just a twisted dream. A mix of emotions, mainly confusion and anger at Tony, boiled in his brain.

"Uh, what just happened?" Tony asked.

"You messed up my spell, Stark," Loki spat, glaring at Tony.

"Well, I know, and I'm sorry, but…you're me?!" Tony exclaimed.

"No, not exactly. It appears that when you interrupted my magic, it somehow switched our spirits so that we are inhabiting each other's bodies," Loki explained impatiently.

"Whoa…," Steve gasped, mouth agape. "That's…odd."

"Nooo!" Tony whined. "I'm ugly!"

"Then I must be dreadfully hideous," Loki returned. It was so strange to be outside of his body, watching someone else control it. Even stranger, although he was in Tony's body, Loki's voice sounded the same as it had before, and so did Tony's.

"No, actually, you look pretty awesome," Tony said. Loki rolled his eyes.

"This is so…weird," Pepper commented, looking at the two as if they had lobsters coming out of their ears.

"And it is all Stark's fault," Loki said. Pepper just blinked.

"Wha's going on?" Bruce asked, entering the kitchen, still half-asleep.

"Stark interrupted me," Loki complained.

"Tony, what're you talking about?" Bruce inquired, frowning.

"It's me, Loki, you idiot!" he snapped.

"Is this supposed to be some kind of prank?" Bruce said.

"No. Mr. Magical here screwed up a spell and now I'm trapped in this pitiful excuse for a body while he gets to look all awesome," Tony answered irritably.

"I must be dreaming…," Bruce muttered, wiping his hands down his face. Clint slapped him on the cheek.

"What was that for?!" he exclaimed, glaring at Clint.

"You're not dreaming. Just thought I should let you know," Clint responded.

"Well, this is just weird, so I'm going to walk away now and hope it's somehow resolved," Bruce decided.

"Wait, you're smart, can't you figure something out? Cause I'm sick of this already," Tony said.

"I don't know anything about Loki's magic," he sighed. "I don't think I can do anything."

"Well, what about you, Frosty? You caused this; surely you can fix it," Tony urged.

"Two problems. One, I do not know the exact spell I used since I was so rudely interrupted, and two, since I am no longer in possession of my body, I do not know if I can perform magic," Loki lamented.

"Well try. Please," Tony begged. And try he did, to no avail. Tony groaned.

"You guys know Fury is totally gonna kill us when he finds out about this," Clint said.

"Why don't you just tell Tony what to do so he can do the magic?" Natasha suggested.

"It is not as simple as that. Mastering sorcery takes practice and patience and the correct mindset, which Stark is clearly lacking," Loki replied, extinguishing all hope. Natasha sighed.

"Then what do we do?" Jane asked.

"Could you not wait until the magic takes its course and wears off?" Thor said.

"That may be an option," Loki agreed thoughtfully. "Few spells last forever."

"Good. Cause I was really starting to worry," Tony said.

"How long does it generally take for magic to wear off?" Bruce inquired.

"It varies with the potency of the spell," Loki answered.

"Well, how potent do you think this one was?"

"I can't be sure."

"How helpful," Bruce muttered sarcastically.

"I would suppose a fortnight or shorter," Loki mused. Tony groaned loudly and fell back onto the sofa.

"That's forever from now!" he complained. "Wait, what's a fortnight?"

"A period of fourteen days," Loki said impatiently.

"I was right. That is forever," he grumbled.

"Oh, you'll survive," Loki snapped.

"You know what? The first day you came here, I said one of the rules was no magic," Tony reminded. "You broke my rule."

"And why would I ever obey such a lowly specimen as yourself?" Loki retorted.

"Thor listened to me. I don't think he's used that hammer once," Tony pointed out.

"That would be because he is a wool-brained idiot who does whatever anyone tells him just because they say so," Loki taunted.

"You lie, brother!" Thor said.

"Have you not noticed? I lie. I am the god of lying, for Odin's sake!"

"I thought you said you were the god of mischief," Tony chimed in, confused.

"I am. I'm the god of mischief and lies," Loki explained, speaking as if Tony was either a small child or extremely stupid.

"Oh." Loki rolled his eyes.

"And Thor, I wasn't lying. You truly need to stop doing things just because I say so," Loki sighed.

"But, Loki, I trust you," Thor argued.

"Hmm. Well perhaps you shouldn't," Loki responded.

"Why do you say that?"

"Half of the things you were punished for as a child were the result of me telling you to do something just for the fun of it."

"I was young and naive then."

"You are still naive, Thor."

"Okay, that looks really weird, hearing Loki's voice coming from Tony," Clint interrupted.

"Yes, it does. Especially since I can't understand half the words he's using," Tony said.

"Mayhap you should consider an education in vocabulary," Loki suggested snidely.

"See?" Tony gasped, sweeping an arm towards Loki. "Who talks like that?"

"I do, Stark," Loki replied.

"Why did Tony just call Loki 'Stark?'" Darcy asked, entering the room.

"Explain please," Tony requested. Loki complied.

"That's both awesome and freakish," Darcy decided.

"I'd say just freakish," Jane said. Pepper nodded in agreement.

"Hey, at least none of you guys ever got possessed by that jerk!" Clint said. "That was scary."

"But fun," Loki countered. Clint replied with a rather rude hand gesture.

"This is too much for me this early in the morning. I'm going back to bed," Tony announced, turning on his heel to leave.

"No you're not. You're gonna stay right here and help me clean up these papers," Pepper instructed. Groaning heavily, Tony proceeded to scoop up an armful of papers, dumping them on the table. "There," he said. Pepper gave him a demanding glare and he pitched in, albeit halfheartedly. Thirty minutes later, the documents were back in order and stored in the proper files.

"That…took forever," Tony complained grumpily.

"You lived," Pepper responded.

"Haha. That totally looked like you had Loki cleaning for you," Clint laughed. "Except it's not Loki…it's Tony. I'm starting to think this is Twilight Zone or Candid Camera or something."

"Well it isn't, and we're having to deal with it for a fortnight," Tony said, mocking Loki's accent on the last word.

"This just keeps getting more and more awkward," Bruce remarked, shaking his head.

"Yeah, it does," Steve said, nodding.

"Sir, it appears Mr. Fury is at the door," Jarvis informed. Loki jumped a little; he still wasn't used to the invisible robotic voice.

"Aww, man!" Tony whined. "Loki, you're gonna have to answer the door so he thinks it's me."

"No, Stark. He will find out eventually anyway," Loki answered.

"But if I show up there, he'll probably tase me or something before I can explain that I'm not really you," Tony argued.

"You know what? I'll answer the door then," Pepper decided. "Problem solved."

"Good luck dealing with his wrath," Clint said.

"Yeah, we're dead," Tony sighed as Pepper disappeared down the hall. A second later she returned with Fury on her heels.

"Uh, hello, Mr. Fury. Pleasure to see you this…exquisite morning," Tony stuttered, trying his best to imitate Loki and failing miserably. Fury lowered his eyebrows suspiciously. Tony flashed a rather awkward, crooked grin.

"Is he drunk or somethin'?" Fury asked.

"Uh…yes?" Clint replied, receiving a frown from Fury in return.

"No, he isn't," Pepper sighed. "Loki messed up a spell and now he and Tony, like, switched brains or something."

"What?!" Fury snapped.

"Yeah, it's awkward…," Tony said.

"I knew it was a bad idea for him to be staying here." Fury sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Don't worry yourself too much over it," Loki said smoothly. "It shan't last long."

"Okay, that's just a little freaky," he commented, jabbing a finger at Loki…er, Tony? Loki in Tony's body? Fury was a bit confused.

"Just fix this. Now," he commanded.

"You see, sir, that is the problem. There seems to be no solution other than wait, as I cannot perform magic whilst in this body," Loki explained, seating himself on the sofa and crossing his leg casually over the other one.

"And how long are we planning on waiting?"

"Fourteen freaking days," Tony complained. "Fourteen!"

"I hope you can deal with sleeping on the couch for fourteen days," Pepper remarked. "Because otherwise, things will feel quite awkward."

"Oooh, rejection," Clint hissed. "How does it feel?"

"Shut it, Legolas."

"You're even rude when you're not you," Clint pouted.

"That made zero sense," Natasha laughed.

"You people are giving me a headache," Fury complained. "I'll be back in two weeks. This better be fixed when I see you again." He finished with a glare that clearly stated, "obey me or else." He recieved several affirmative nods, and with that, he was gone.

"Oh, and by the way, Tony, you really need to work on your Loki impression," Bruce teased.

"Yes, you do. I do not talk like that," Loki agreed.

"Hey, you try faking that accent while being stared down by Fury!" Tony defended.

"That scenario is irrelivent to me as I would have no need to fake an accent I already possess," Loki argued.

"You know what I meant."

"You kinda sounded Austrailian," Jane said.

"Eh, close enough," Tony responded, shrugging.

"But Loki does not come from Australia," Thor said.

"We know. But people who do come from Australia have accents that sound a little like his," Jane explained. Thor nodded slowly.

"I need some coffee. I can't be woken up this early and function normally without it," Tony announced, starting towards the kitchen. But, as was known, he was no longer in possession of his own body and still wasn't quite used to Loki's taller frame. He tripped miserably over his own feet and landed face down on the floor, his arms crumpled underneath him as a result of a failed attempt to catch himself. Clint, of course, laughed. Tony scowled, wishing for fourteen seconds instead of fourteen days.

**Author's note: You guys remember that movie **_**Freaky Friday? **_**Yeah, I just randomly thought about it whilst trying to come up with an idea for this, and thus chapter 14 was born. **


	15. iPhones Generally Don't Explode

**Author's note: I know you all love me. I just updated, like, two days ago? Yep, that sounds right. Wow, I'm on a roll. You know, with school and homework and everything, I'm genuinely surprised I got done this quickly. On with the (hopefully) awesome story!**

Life was awkward. For everyone, really, but mostly for Tony and Loki. They were constantly getting called the wrong name, which bugged Tony a bit more than it did Loki. And, much to his dismay, Tony was still tripping over his own-well, technically Loki's-feet. Clint was getting a butt load of laughs from it, but Tony wasn't amused. To top it all off, he'd been sleeping on the sofa for five days now, and the cramps that ensued almost tempted him to sleep on the floor, but he reminded himself that it probably wouldn't be much better.

Tony was currently seated at the kitchen table, hands curled around a hot mug of coffee. He examined the pale skin and the long, thin fingers, so different from his own. This was probably one of the strangest experiences of his life, but he admitted it to be his own fault. He knew he should've kept quiet while Loki was working his magic, but he hadn't meant any harm. Now here he was, paying for it. It really wasn't all that bad, but he wasn't enjoying it either.

Tony found himself wondering if Loki's body would revert to its Jotun appearance even though he no longer inhabited it. He supposed he would find out soon enough. Taking a small sip of coffee, Tony stared across the table at Bruce, who was deeply interested in a newspaper. Bruce seemed to be handling the situation better than anyone, never calling either by the wrong name, and he seemed a bit less freaked out. But Tony figured he'd seen much stranger things. Or maybe he was just trying his best to ignore the oddness of it all.

Thor also seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, but judging from the small amount of Norse myths Tony had read, it was obvious that Thor had experienced much, much weirder. His own brother had given birth. To an eight-legged horse, no less. It was hard for anything to seem odd after something like that. Tony was still curious as to how Loki had managed that. He snapped out of his reverie as Clint began speaking to him.

"Wait, I just realized something," he began.

"What?" Tony asked.

"You've changed clothes since this whole body-switch thing," he continued.

"Yeah, so?"

"Technically, you've now seen Loki naked. And vice-versa," Clint finished, slightly disgusted.

"Oh, crap it, Clint! Why'd you have to point that out?" Tony whined, squirming in his chair. Loki, who was seated beside Clint on the sofa, looked a bit sick.

"Yes, really. Why did you have to bring that to our attention?" Loki demanded, wrinkling his nose.

"It's just…so…oh, _gosh_," Tony said.

"Awkward?" Clint suggested, laughing.

"What is this about seeing Loki naked?" Thor questioned, entering the room. Ever the overprotective one, Tony thought.

"It's too weird to explain," Tony answered. Thor just nodded, slightly confused, while Clint continued his giggling and Bruce stayed true to his newspaper, trying his best to ignore the others' conversation. Tony finished his coffee and slid the empty cup back and forth between his hands, creating a dull, continuous scraping noise.

"Can you stop that? It's really grating on my nerves," Bruce said, lowering the newspaper.

"Well, I physically can…," Tony replied, faking deep thought. "But I prefer not to." And with that, the scraping continued. Bruce sighed, gathered up the paper, and left.

"Aw. Now I'm all alone over here," Tony complained.

"Not anymore. I need you to fill out some papers for me," Pepper announced, coming in quickly and sitting down across from Tony.

"_Whyyyyy_?" he groaned.

"Because they're important," Pepper answered, pushing a stack of three or four papers towards him. Ten minutes later, the papers were filled out. Tony held the pen he had been using like a dart and tossed it at Clint. It struck him in the side of the head, and with lightning fast reflexes, he picked it up again and hurled it in Tony's direction where it stuck into the wall.

"Dude, you could've killed me just now," Tony said, eyes wide.

"Consider that a warning. You scared the heck out of me, man!" Clint argued. Loki sighed and leaned his head back against the back of the sofa, cursing Thor for having the bright idea of coming to stay with Tony and his immature friends. He found himself longing for the day he would be permitted to return to Asgard. He knew it was going to be a very tedious time until then.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Seven more days passed. Nothing remarkable happened besides Thor almost blowing up the microwave as a result of Tony failing to tell him that you're not supposed to put tin foil in it. Loki, naturally, had laughed. Thor had apologized profusely, only after whacking the microwave with Mjolnir when it began emitting smoke.

In the end, Tony had been upset, Loki had gotten a good laugh, and Pepper was not amused. To be honest, she was downright sick of having to place orders for new appliances to replace the ones that either Tony or someone else (someone usually meaning Thor or Steve) broke. But, she purchased a new microwave anyway. Pepper was currently seated at a desk, typing away on the computer and hoping she wouldn't hear yet another crash or explosion. Loki, who was sitting in the middle of his bed, was hoping the exact same thing. He was rapidly growing sick of Stark. And, for the record, everyone else.

He'd never really been a fan of any of the Avengers, especially after the whole "Operation: Foil Loki's Plans" thing. Loki remained adamant to the belief he could've easily conquered Midgard if it weren't for them. He had been making some impressive progress. But, of course, it had all been for nothing, and Odin only disliked him more for it all. And now there was the current issue. Loki was still fuming at Tony for interrupting his spell.

He knew it'd been stupid to use magic around him in the first place, but he hadn't really thought about it at the time. Now look where it had gotten him. But it was Stark's fault, Loki reminded himself. Absolutely, one hundred percent Stark's fault. Loki began absently picking at a fingernail, lost in thought. Suddenly, his train of thought veered off course as he heard the sound of shattering glass.

"Now what has Thor destroyed?" Loki muttered to himself, rising from the bed and proceeding to the living room. He was presented with a broken window, an angry Tony, and a very apologetic Steve.

"You just threw my phone out the window!" Tony spluttered. "Why would you do that!?"

"It made such a weird noise! I thought it was going to blow up or something!" Steve defended.

"That was my ringtone, Steve. And iPhones generally _don't_ explode!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"Pay attention?"

"You are practically swimming in money, are you not?" Loki said, leaning against the doorframe. "Could you not simply purchase another telephone?"

"I could, but that one had all my pictures and music and stuff on it," Tony argued.

"From my understanding, you are able to transfer all of that data onto a computer, correct?" Loki replied.

"Yeah, so?"

"So you purchase another telephone and transfer your media onto it from the computer," Loki suggested, using hand gestures for emphasis.

"Wow. And I thought you were just as informed as Capsicle here about modern technology," Tony said. Loki smirked in response. "You underestimate me, Stark."

"Sure," Tony replied. "And how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tony?"

"I prefer Stark. Tony is much too informal," Loki said.

"I thought we were friends here."

"Yes, you _thought_."

"You know I could kick you to the curb any time. This is my house, tower, whatever," Tony argued.

"We all know you cannot do that," Loki said.

"And why not?" Tony was getting sick of arguing by this point.

"If we are too far separated, the magic will not be able to reverse," Loki answered matter-of-factly.

"Of course," Tony grumbled.

"Look on the bright side, Stark. Tomorrow is the fourteenth, and hopefully final, day," said Loki, raking a hand through his hair.

"Well, you did say a fortnight or less. So maybe we'll get lucky and it'll reverse today," Tony said.

"Perhaps. But don't get your hopes up," Loki responded.

"Way to be a pessimist there, Lokes," Tony teased.

"What did you just call me?" Loki inquired, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly.

"Just some random little nickname-type-thing I made up, like, four seconds ago," Tony answered with a shrug.

"Aww, how cute," Clint taunted, dropping down from the rafters and landing right behind Tony, who nearly jumped out of his shoes.

"Dude! Don't scare me like that! We already went over this when you and Natasha were creeping through my vents," Tony exclaimed.

"Sorry. It's just fun," Clint laughed. "And I never thought I'd hear Loki say 'dude.' Even though you're not really Loki, it still looked like he said it."

"And just so we're clear, I don't consider giving nicknames 'cute,'" Tony informed, making air quotes with his fingers.

"Well, that was more of a pet name. Like how I call Natasha 'Tasha' for short," Clint argued.

"No, it wasn't. It was just something random I could call him instead of Loki," Tony countered.

"_Suuure_," Clint teased.

"I'm going to have to start keeping a record of how many arguments you get into in a day, Tony," Bruce sighed, seating himself on the sofa.

"Clint started it," Tony blamed.

"I did not."

"Yes you did!"

"Let's see, that makes two so far," Bruce said.

"That's not fair," Tony protested.

"If you weren't such a genius at science, I'd swear you were a three-year-old," Bruce commented.

"Aww, Hulky thinks I'm a genius," Tony said dramatically, fluttering his eyelashes. Bruce just shook his head.

"You guys are really strange," Steve remarked.

"Says the man who thinks cell phones are explosive," Tony said.

"Why don't you try waking up in an entirely different century and see how much you understand?" Steve responded, crossing his arms.

"Three," Bruce announced. Loki rolled his eyes. Midgardians were so unbelievably immature that he wondered how they even comprehended daily life. Deciding he couldn't take any more of the childish bickering, he set off to talk with Thor. Even though he could be a complete idiot, talking to him beat listening to Stark's pointless arguments any day.

Loki found his somewhat brother, unsurprisingly, in the kitchen having a conversation with Jane and eating potato chips.

"Hey T-uh, Loki!" Jane greeted brightly.

"Hello, Miss Foster. Thor," Loki said, grabbing the bag of chips from Thor and having a seat across from him. Thor opened his mouth to protest, but shut it again after receiving a stern look from Loki. He'd rather not risk a bout of Loki's trademark sarcasm and snide remarks. Loki consumed a handful of potato chips and glanced at the clock. It was already past nine pm. He rolled up the bag, tossed it at Thor, and began ascending the stairs.

Normally, he wouldn't be going to bed this early, but he was tired. The steps seemed to drag on forever.

"Where are you going, Loki?" Jane asked.

"Bed. I am quite exhausted," came his reply from upstairs.

"Who goes to bed this early?" Darcy inquired, appearing from around the corner and scaring the life out of Loki.

"I do, Miss Lewis," Loki answered promptly, brushing past her and into his room.

"Wow, I really hope that magic wears off soon, cause that's pretty unnerving," Darcy sighed, sitting down in the seat previously occupied by Loki. Jane nodded. "Yes, yes it is."


	16. Splendidly Beautiful

**Author's note: Someone requested that I include our dear Dr. Banner a bit more, so I hope I'm doing an ok job. And, as you can probably tell, I just make this up as I go, so I'm quickly running out of good ideas. So pleeeaaase, send me any suggestions! **

The first thing Loki noticed upon waking up was the fact that he was no longer in his bedroom. Instead, it appeared that he had somehow traveled to the sofa unknowingly. He sat up and arched his back, a bit confused until the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Gasping lightly in relief, he ran his fingers through his hair, really and truly his hair. Smiling broadly, he leapt up from the sofa and stretched his arms over his head. He made a mental note: Whatever the situation, never allow anyone to convince me to sleep on the sofa.

It was quite uncomfortable. Half a second later, someone upstairs yelled, "Yes!"

"Stark," Loki sighed to himself. He must've awoken to find that the spell had indeed worn off, in precisely a fortnight, just as Loki had predicted.

"What happened? Who's yelling?" Bruce asked frantically, stumbling into the living room, still mostly asleep.

"That would be our dear Mr. Stark," Loki answered smoothly.

"Oh. I take it the magic wore off?"

"Obviously," Loki remarked. Bruce frowned.

"You just can't be nice, can you?"

"Oh, I can. It is just so…_boring_." Loki gazed steadily into Dr. Banner's eyes.

"You're a strange one," Bruce decided.

"Can you blame me? I spent my childhood living with Thor," Loki said. Bruce chuckled softly and shook his head; Loki could be funny if he tried. He opened his mouth to inform Loki of his realization when an extremely elated Tony burst into the room.

"Haha! Yes!" he exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. Loki blinked at him.

"What? You're not excited, Lokes?" Tony asked. "Oh, right. Forgot I'm not supposed to call you that."

"I shall consider letting it slide this time," Loki responded, half-teasing.

"Good morning world and all who inhabit it," Clint announced, sliding down the banister on the stairs.

"Did you just quote Spongebob?" Bruce inquired, laughing.

"Yes, I did," Clint answered.

"Now you have to eat snail food and say hi to Patrick, like, fifty times," Tony said.

"What in all the Nine Realms are you talking about?" Loki questioned.

"Spongebob," Clint replied as if it were the answer to life itself.

"Hm. Alright then." Loki settled himself into a chair.

"It feels so awesome to be a normal height again," Tony announced, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet.

"I am of normal height," Loki defended, stretching his legs out to rest them on the coffee table.

"For giraffes," Tony joked.

"Six feet and two inches really is not that unusually tall, even for Midgardians," Loki said. "And, in case you failed to notice, Thor is even taller than me."

"I know. I'm just saying," Tony said.

"The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way!" Clint sang, sitting down at the table with a bowl of cereal.

"I hereby revoke your TV privileges," Tony announced.

"You'll forget that by tomorrow," Clint predicted.

"Jarvis, remind me that Clint's TV privileges are revoked," Tony said, punctuating his sentence with a smug grin.

"Of course, sir," Jarvis replied smartly.

"I hate you," Clint teased.

"And I, you," Jarvis responded.

"I wasn't even talking to you!"

"But _I _was talking to _you_," Jarvis argued.

"Tony, why did you have to make Jarvis? He's annoying and he hates me," Clint complained.

"Cause I'm just epic like that. And also I would never remember anything without him. Plus he talks to me when I'm bored and Pep is being too serious and businesslike to have a normal conversation," Tony explained.

"Is it healthy to talk to robots?" Bruce asked.

"Duh. I do it all the time and look how awesome I am!" Tony replied.

"Define awesome," Loki quipped. Tony stuck his tongue out at him.

"I would say you're more…eccentric than awesome," Natasha commented, quickly descending the stairs.

"Eccentric people can be awesome, too," Tony said. Natasha shrugged. "Depends."

"Hey, isn't Fury supposed to come by here today?" Bruce said.

"Oh, yeah," Clint groaned. "I forgot."

"Aw, he's not that bad," Natasha assured. Clint snorted and proceeded to finish his cereal.

"Hopefully he'll at least come early in the day so we don't have to dread it too long," Tony remarked.

"Yeah. But knowing him, he'll make us brood on it until dusk," Clint pouted.

0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o

Both lunch and dinner passed, and Fury still hadn't shown up. Clint's prediction was quickly being proven. Loki sat at the table, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ugh, I'm so bored," Clint drawled.

"As am I," Loki sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw something relatively small being tossed at him. Without even turning his head, he caught it.

"Nice catch," Tony, the source of the object, commented. The object, which was, in fact, a glass bottle, was being examined by Loki.

"Oh, no thank you, Stark," he said after one look at the label. "I don't drink."

"What of that one time-" Thor began, entered the living room, and was promptly interrupted by Loki.

"That was long ago. And a mistake, mind you."

"Eh, whatever. It was a long time ago. Don't worry about it," Tony said, waving his hand.

"I don't take advice from the likes of you," Loki snarled.

"Peer pressure! Peer pressure!" Clint chanted, his face hovering about an inch away from Loki's ear. Frowning venomously, uncapped the bottle, swallowed its contents quickly, then broke the empty bottle on Clint's head.

"_Owww_," he whined, rubbing his forehead. Loki smirked triumphantly and flicked the bottle cap, striking Clint right on the nose with it.

"You get no more. You're dangerous when glass is in your possession," Clint said. Grinning slyly, Loki turned to look at Tony, holding out an expectant hand. Mirroring his expression, Tony tossed him another bottle.

"Aww," Clint groaned. He was hit over the head six more times in a span of thirty minutes and Loki was reduced to nothing more than a giggling heap on the floor.

"Now look what you did, Tony," Bruce blamed.

"I think Loki gave me brain damage," Clint remarked, rubbing his sore head.

"Sir, Mr. Fury is at the door. Shall I allow him entry?" Jarvis said. Tony groaned. Fury couldn't have chosen a worse time if he'd tried.

"Yes," Tony answered reluctantly. A very short, tense moment later, Fury arrived in the room, silently taking in the shattered glass and the delusional Loki.

"Ehehe, why _helloooo_, Mr. Fury," Loki giggled, standing up rather shakily. His eyes were unfocused and he was grinning rather stupidly.

"Stark! What did you do?" Fury barked. Tony seemed to shrink under Fury's harsh glare.

"Erm…nothing?" he tried, wincing.

"Ooh, the ceiling is so splendidly beautiful!" Loki crooned, nearly falling over. Luckily, Thor caught him and pushed him back onto his feet.

"Well, the magic reversed," Tony said, forcing a smile.

"I can see that. What I wanna know is why Loki is complimenting your ceiling," Fury replied, trying his best not to scream.

"Uh, he's always like this at…oh, what time is it? Ah, seven," Tony lied horribly. "On Saturday, which is what today is."

"Ya might want to work on your lying skills, Tony," Loki said, clapping a hand onto Tony's shoulder.

"Oh, my goodness! It's the apocalypse!" Tony gasped. "He called me Tony!"

"I wouldn't get used to it," Natasha said.

"Just so you know, I had no part in this," Bruce commented.

"I don't care who is responsible for what! All I know is-" Fury's rant was cut short. Loki, who had been feeling rather sick the entire time, held his hand over his stomach and vomited, most of it landing on Fury and the floor in front of him.

"Ewww," Clint whined, wrinkling his nose. Fury was positively fuming by this point.

"HEY, PEPPER, YOU'RE NEEDED!" Tony yelled.

"What? Oh, ew," she said, hurrying into the room. "If you think I'm cleaning that up, you're more wrong than anyone has ever been in the history of the world."

"Well, I'm not touching it," Tony announced. "Loki, this is all your fault. You clean it up."

"Ehehe, I can't feel my legs," Loki said, sitting down heavily in the middle of the floor.

"I don't think he's going to be cleaning anything for a while," Natasha remarked.

"Somebody just clean!" Fury demanded.

"Holy Jotunheim!" Loki said loudly. "There…there's a ginormous spider! On the floor!"

"That's not a spider, Loki. That's my foot," Bruce sighed, resting his face in his hands. Loki just laughed. Thor nudged him gently in the ribs.

"Are you alright, Loki?" he asked softly.

"Seriously, guys, it's starting to smell really bad in here. Somebody clean it up," Clint complained, waving his hand in front of his nose.

"Great idea," Natasha agreed, thrusting a mop into Clint's hand.

"You hate me, don't you?" Clint muttered. But he set to work anyway. Anything was better than an angry Fury and a stinky mess.

"Whoa, what happened in here?" Steve asked from about halfway down the stairs.

"Steve!" Loki exclaimed, shoulders shaking with hiccups.

"Do I really want to know?" Steve inquired, pointing a tentative finger at the rather disgusting mess.

"No, not really," Bruce answered. Steve just nodded.

"Would you like a glass of water, Loki?" Natasha suggested.

"Your hair is so pretty, Tasha," Loki murmured, his eyes crossing a bit.

"I'll take that as a yes," she concluded. Natasha hurried off to the kitchen, taking care to step around Clint, who still hadn't finished cleaning.

"Uh, here, I'll show you where the shower is," she heard Tony say to Fury. When she came back with Loki's water, he was asleep.

"Well. What a waste of time," she said, setting the water on the countertop. A rather disgusted Clint walked past with the dirty mop and a bucket of water that had once been clean.

"Loookiiii," Natasha said, poking him in the cheek.

"Do not disturb him whilst he sleeps. He gets rather vexed when he is awoken," Thor advised.

"Why don't you take him to his room, Thor?" Steve suggested. Thor effortlessly lifted the unconscious Loki into his arms and began climbing the stairs. Gazing down at his snoring brother, Thor shook his head. Loki never ceased to get himself into trouble. Thor entered Loki's bedroom, taking care not to knock the unconscious man's head on the doorframe. He set Loki on the bed and pulled the blanket over him before silently leaving, closing the door behind him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Darcy had stayed in her bedroom throughout the whole fiasco. She had just been on her way to the kitchen when she heard the sound of shattering glass and decided it was safer upstairs. Now, as she sat at the table and listened to Bruce and Tony unfold the prior events, she was glad she'd stayed in her room. Though she admitted it sounded pretty funny, she knew from experience that Fury could get quite snappish, and no one liked being vomited on. She found herself hoping Loki was okay, and considered going to check on him. Since Darcy considered herself a nice person, she did what any real friend would do.

As soon as Tony and Bruce had finished their story, she ascended the stairs and let herself into Loki's room. She found him sprawled out on his bed, completely asleep. The side of his face was pressed against his pillow, mouth agape, and one arm dangled off the side of the mattress. She brushed the hair out of his face and stared down at him. He looked so calm and vulnerable.

So different from when he was awake, snarky and sarcastic. Loki moaned softly in his sleep and for a moment, Darcy thought he'd awoken. She imagined how embarrassing it would be for him to wake up and find her staring at him. Almost without a second thought, Darcy gave him a quick kiss and left. Almost eleven hours after her departure, Loki woke.

He squinted against the almost painfully bright sunlight and buried his face in his pillow. His head pounded and his mouth tasted unpleasant. Loki was extremely peeved. There was no way he was letting Stark get away with this. Loki knew the blame was partially his, but he didn't care. It was mostly Tony's fault, and Loki was going to make sure he regretted it.

**Author's note: Poor Loki. But don't worry, my lovelies, he will get his revenge. Anyway, yes, Spongebob is awesome. Reviewwwww! **


	17. Lessons in Norse Mythology

**Author's note: Okay, so I've been using asterisks (*) as page breaks, and I just realized they're not showing up when I post. So that explains the unexplained quantum time leaps and random POV changes. I have now reverted to using 0s and os. So yay. Hopefully it's fixed. Sorry for any confusion that may have ensued. **

"Good morning, brother! How are you feeling?" Thor greeted, rather too loudly in Loki's opinion.

"Inside voices, Thor," he hissed, curling up on the sofa, his knees drawn up to his chin.

"I wasn't aware that I was speaking loudly," Thor apologized.

"Just…shh," Loki said, holding his index finger up to his lips. "Please."

"I apologize," Thor whispered.

"Hello! How're ya doing, Frosty?" Tony entered the room, and Loki suspected he was being loud on purpose.

"I would be faring much better if I could be granted the knowledge that you didn't exist," Loki said coldly.

"Sorry, bud. I exist. Can't help it. You can blame my dad for that one," Tony teased, having a seat beside Loki. Loki responded to his presence by kicking him in the ribs.

"Man, you're mean," Tony complained. Loki held in a mouthful of rather colorful language, choosing instead to ignore the nuisance that was Tony Stark.

"Now I'm getting the cold shoulder. I see how this works," Tony said.

"Would you please stop talking?" Loki requested, burying his face in his knees.

"No. Talking is fun. Especially when you don't want me to." Tony shot Loki a rather irksome grin. Loki groaned softly.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't torment him so," Thor said.

"Jarvis!" Clint yelled from another room. "Why won't the TV turn on?"

"If you will remember, Mr. Barton, your television privileges have been revoked," came the reply.

"You have no soul, Tony!" Clint pouted, brooding in the doorway.

"Are you people incapable of speaking quietly?" Loki spat.

"Are you incapable of dealing with a normal talking volume?" Clint returned.

"As of now, yes, I am," Loki replied. "And you can blame Stark, for it was overwhelmingly his fault." Loki was still plotting his revenge. He hadn't decided on a specific course of action just yet.

"Actually, it was your fault that you found it entertaining to smash glass on my head," Clint argued.

"Now is not the time to point fingers, Barton," Loki sighed.

"Wow. You and Jarvis both. Seriously, would it kill someone to call me Clint?"

"Welcome to the club," Tony joked.

"Did Fury visit yesterday as he said he would?" Loki inquired. He hazily remembered Fury dropping by, but he wasn't entirely sure if it had been a dream or a legitimate memory.

"Yes, he did. And guess what?" Clint said.

"I am not going to like this next sentence, am I?"

"You threw up on him. And Tasha made me clean it up."

"_Lovely_," Loki snapped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I suppose he's already got a price on my head?"

"No, actually, we told him it was Tony's fault," Clint replied.

"And what was his reaction?"

"Well, he was mad, obviously. Also, Tony isn't allowed to have alcohol in this building for, like, four months," Clint explained.

"Wonderful," Loki responded, smiling triumphantly at Tony, who just frowned at him.

"I'm suffering for you here, Loki," Tony grumbled.

"You will survive." Loki curled his hands tighter around his steaming mug of tea and took a small sip.

"I don't know," Tony argued. "I'm serious!" he added after seeing Loki's skeptical expression. Loki just sighed and took another drink of tea.

"You'll be fine, Tony," Clint assured. Tony grumbled under his breath for a moment before suddenly blurting out a question.

"Oh, Loki, I've been meaning to ask you, how _did_ you have a baby? I'm really confused."

"I've been dying to know since the beach!" Clint said.

"That is my business and my business alone," Loki replied.

"Thor knows. Frigga and Odin know. I think," Tony returned.

"Yes, of course. They are my…ahem...relatives." Loki stumbled over the last word.

"And I'm your friend. That's gotta count for something."

"Who said you were my friend?"

"Whatever. Thor, you'll tell me, right?"

"I am not sure if that is such a good idea. Loki is a bit sensitive about that topic," Thor said uncertainly. "Do I have your permission to inform the Man of Iron of the story?"

"Alright, fine. Only so that he will cease his annoying pleas," Loki sighed. Some time later, Thor and Loki were exasperated, Tony was a bit confused, and Clint was disturbed.

"So, let me get this straight," Tony began. "There was some dude building a wall and then there was a horse and…oh, _wow_, I'm confused."

"Basically, Loki did…things with said horse and then, yeah, you know," Clint explained.

"But…he's a guy!"

"Loki has been known for changing his form," Thor informed.

"Oh, dude, you can turn into a woman? That's awesome," Tony gaped.

"It is quite intriguing," Thor agreed. Loki shifted in his seat. He was becoming a bit uncomfortable with the direction their conversation was heading.

"Loki, I will give you…" Tony paused to dig around in his pockets. "fifty bucks to turn into a girl."

"I have no use for your Midgardian currency."

"Okay, fine. Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. And I promise I'll try really hard to just call you Loki, nothing else, from now on," Tony persuaded. He really, really wanted to see this.

"Why should I?" Loki questioned, tracing a finger around the rim of his mug.

"Because I will torment you incessantly until you do," Tony answered, smirking. Loki set his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. "Fine, Stark. Have it your way," he spat maliciously. Tony grinned expectantly, staring wide-eyed at Loki. Sighing, Loki reluctantly summoned his magic. He could feel his body changing, and he was receiving a multitude of strange looks from both Clint and Tony.

The magic was done, and Loki frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Whoa, that was weird," Tony breathed.

"Hey, stand up. I wanna see how tall you are now," Clint said. Loki complied.

"Aww, dang. You're still taller," Clint lamented. Loki smirked.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you actually look kinda sexy," Tony said, laughing slightly. Pepper, who had been lurking in the doorway for who knows how long, cleared her throat.

"Oh, dang. Uh…hey, Pep! What's up?" Tony said. Pepper raised an eyebrow. "_Sexy_, huh?" she said.

"Well, you know, I didn't mean it. I was just trying to be the nice person that I am," Tony defended.

"Hmm," Pepper huffed.

"I believe an apology is in order," Loki remarked, flicking his now quite long hair over his shoulder.

"Sorry, Pep. You're sexy, too," Tony said. Pepper only rolled her eyes and sat herself down beside Tony on the couch.

"May I please revert to my original form?" Loki requested impatiently.

"No way! Not everyone has seen you yet," Tony answered. "Hey! Everyone report to the living room, stat!"

"Whoa, is that Loki?" Bruce was the first to respond to Tony's announcement.

"Yes, unfortunately," Loki grumbled.

"Do I even want to know?" Natasha asked, following Bruce into the room.

"Thor told us a story, then I made Loki turn into a woman," Tony explained.

"So that's how he gave birth…," Darcy mused. "Wow, this is awkward."

"Whoaaa…who is that? Wait, is that…Loki!?" Steve spluttered.

"Hello, Rogers," Loki replied smoothly.

"You look…pretty?" Steve said. "No, wait, that was probably really weird for you." By now, he was blushing fiercely.

"Wow, Steve, I didn't know you thought that way," Tony teased.

"What? No, Tony, I'm not homosexual if that's what you're trying to imply," Steve argued.

"Look who's talking. Tony, if you'll remember, you were the one who called Loki sexy," Pepper said. Jane and Bruce stifled a laugh.

"Now may I-"

"Not yet, Loki," Tony said. "Jarvis, would you mind getting a picture of this?"

"Of course, sir," Jarvis replied eagerly as a small light flashed.

"Awesome. Thanks, Jarvis. Now you can be all manly again, Loki. Not that you are very manly, even in your other form," Tony said.

"I would keep my mouth shut if I were you, Stark," Loki warned, morphing back to his original self.

"Oh, good, much better," Darcy sighed. "It freaks me out when you turn into a girl."

"Sorry," Loki sneered.

"But it does come in handy sometimes. Remember when-"

"_Shut up, Thor_," Loki hissed, holding up a hand to silence him.

"Wait, no, I wanna hear the story!" Clint said.

"Thor's beloved hammer was stolen by a giant, and in order to retrieve it, Thor was compelled to disguise himself as the goddess Freya, for the thief wished to wed her. I disguised myself as well, in order to conceal my identity," Loki explained quickly. "In the end, Thor repossessed Mjolnir, and we had deeply confounded the thief."

"Wow, I'm learning so much today! Ugh, this feels like school," Tony said.

"So, you mean to tell me that Thor," Bruce paused to gesture at said god, "dressed up like a lady?"

"Precisely," Loki replied.

"You guys have a very awesome, very demented life," Clint commented. "I think that's the strangest, yet most interesting story I've ever heard."

"Thank you, Barton. Glad I could be of entertainment," Loki responded.

"Is stuff like that…normal? Like, just everyday things?" Darcy asked.

"You may be surprised what happens on Asgard," Loki answered.

"I so wanna go there someday," she mused.

"Hm. Good luck with that," Loki remarked.

"Hey, a girl can dream!" Darcy said, grinning at him. Loki smiled back. He was beginning to like her. Wait-what was he thinking? He was a god, for Odin's sake; he didn't have time for petty crushes.

"So…what're we doing today?" Clint inquired, idly twirling an arrow between his fingers.

"I don't know. We could go blow something up," Tony suggested jokingly.

"Ooh, can I try one of your Iron Man suits? I've always wanted to do that," Clint said.

"…maybe," Tony replied after a short moment of consideration. "Last time I let someone use one, half my house was either exploded or broken."

"Whoa, when did that happen?" Clint inquired.

"A while ago. Back before Loki so cruelly murdered Coulson," Tony answered.

"I miss him. He was a little awkward, but I liked him," Steve commented with a sigh.

"Do you feel bad, Loki? Cause you should. You made Spangles sad," Tony said.

"I regret nothing," Loki said.

"Then you lie to Father?" Thor interjected.

"No. I meant I do not regret the death of Coulson," Loki replied.

"You should," Tony argued. "You made everyone sad. And he never got his trading cards signed because of you."

"Whatever, Stark. It is the past now, and the past cannot be erased," Loki said.

"I feel bad," Steve lamented. "I should have signed them when I had the chance."

"It's okay, Steve. I'm sure he doesn't mind," Jane comforted. Loki thought Jane might make a good mother. She had a way of just being kind.

"So seriously, Tony, can I?" Clint persisted.

"Fine! But if you break something…I don't even know," Tony replied. He obviously hadn't planned out his sentence before he said it.

"Okay, okay," Clint sighed dramatically before darting down the stairs to the lab.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Bruce commented.

"So do I," Tony agreed. Loki almost opted to hang back and stay in the living room, but after a moment's thought, decided he would much rather be a witness to Clint's inevitable failure. Loki had always liked Tony's lab, anyway. It was intriguing when it wasn't blown up or otherwise in complete disarray. He enjoyed playing with the holograms, zooming in and out on charts and displays until Tony told him off for it.

Loki sat down at a table, watching Tony try to explain to Clint how to put the suit on. It took a while for him to get used to it, but at least nothing was broken yet.

"Wait, what if I have to go to the bathroom?" Clint asked. Pepper and Natasha sighed, remembering a certain incident.

"Just…go," Tony answered matter-of-factly, shrugging.

"Won't it, like, short out or something?"

"It didn't before, so why should it now?"

"What do you mean, _before_? Ew, gross! Tony, did you seriously pee in this?" Clint said.

"Not in that one," Tony replied. Loki sighed and rested his chin on his hand.

"Why would you need to pee in any of them?" Clint asked, a bit disgusted.

"Because I was too lazy to actually go and use the toilet. And because people wanted to know how I used the bathroom with it on," Tony answered.

"Also known as: he was drunk and being an idiot," Pepper added.

"I suddenly feel really awkward wearing this," Clint remarked.

"Yeah, and I'm starting to feel paranoid. Let's put it up now," Tony said.

"Aww, but I didn't even get to fly in it!" Clint complained.

"I'm afraid you'll kill yourself or someone else. So it's going away now," Tony said.

"I honestly don't even see how these things are safe," Jane commented, running a finger over the smooth metal. Tony just shrugged. "Me neither."

"I'm really surprised nothing exploded," Bruce said.

"Me too. I think that's the first time one of those suits have been used without havoc and destruction ensuing," Pepper said. Loki had begun absently toying with a hologram, using a finger to flick it around the tabletop like the puck in a game of air hockey.

"Oh, I spoke too soon," Pepper sighed. Clint, who still hadn't taken the suit off, had somehow accidentally powered up the repulsors, and they looked ready to go off any second. Pepper dove under the table, yanking Loki out of his chair so that he fell to the ground beside her just as Clint leapt out the window to avoid blowing anyone up. A second later, Loki heard the blast of the repulsors.

"Okay, new rule. No one touches the Iron Man suits," Tony announced as Clint appeared just outside the window, hovering rather clumsily. He maneuvered through the window, but only after nearly falling twice and whacking his head on the wall. Once he was safely indoors, the suit was removed, and Clint looked ready to vomit or faint. Maybe both.

"I fully endorse this new rule," he said weakly. Loki reassumed his previous position in the chair and surveyed the surprisingly intact lab. He was genuinely amazed that nothing had been damaged, save the dents in the window frame where Clint had misjudged his entry angle. Any interest Loki had previously had in testing any of Stark's inventions was gone. Clint looked a bit traumatized, and Loki wasn't in line to be next.

But there was still the matter of his revenge. Loki clasped his hands and rested his chin on his knuckles, plotting contentedly.

**Author's note 2: So the other day I watched Iron Man 2. It was amazing. I rented it and had a friend over to watch it with me. As the DVD was starting up, it showed the Stark Expo logo on the screen, and, being the genius that I am, I thought it was the brand of my Blu-Ray player. I am made fun of for it to this very day. I hope you enjoyed this story of my epic failure. **


	18. Of Fathers and Nightmares

**Author's note: OH NO, the angst is back...sorry, guys. This started out being rather lighthearted, but then...I don't know what happened. Hate me if you want, but only nice reviews please! **

Revenge is a glorious thing. Some may disagree, but it really and truly is wonderful. Especially when you're Loki. The god of mischief himself was currently lurking around a corner, waiting for the opportune moment. He heard footsteps approaching, and quickly peeked around the corner. It was Stark. Perfect.

Loki's mouth curled in a smug grin and he stepped purposefully out into the hallway, right in Tony's path. He stopped short, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Whaaaat…?" Tony blinked a few times and jabbed Loki in the face, almost as if to confirm he was real. Loki continued his condescending expression, gazing steadily into Tony's eyes.

"How? I…what?" Tony was deeply confused. Loki couldn't blame him; Tony thought he had come face to face with none other than his father. Loki chuckled inwardly. He really enjoyed using his magic.

"Hello, Tony," Loki said.

"This is too weird. You're not real, are you?" Tony replied skeptically. He narrowed his eyes and paced back in forth in front of Loki.

"Of course I'm real. Just like you are." Loki was truly having fun with this. Tony's befuddled expression was priceless.

"You're supposed to be dead," Tony said bluntly.

"Oh, am I now?" Loki raised an eyebrow and clasped his hands at the front.

"Yeah, you are. Or are you pulling a Steve?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Steve. He was frozen for, like, forever. Normally, he would be really old. Or dead. Most likely dead," Tony explained. Loki thought Tony was keeping a surprisingly cool head considering the situation.

"Ah, yes. Captain Rogers," Loki said, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. "The star-spangled man with a plan."

"How are you even here?" Tony inquired.

"That is for me to know and you to find out."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Loki responded, draping an arm around Tony's shoulders, "you've been Loki'd again." And with that, he disappeared into thin air, leaving Tony alone in the hallway, gaping at nothing.

"Close your mouth, Tony. You'll catch flies," Pepper said, passing by quickly.

"But…he…Loki…," Tony rambled.

Pepper stopped her brisk walk down the hall. "What about Loki?"

"He…I…I don't know." Tony's shoulders slumped and he shook his head. Pepper sighed and hurried on her way. Tony rubbed his hands down his face and went off in the opposite direction. On a whim, he stopped at Loki's bedroom door and knocked.

"What do you want, Stark?" Loki opened the door almost immediately.

"You just Loki'd me again." Tony crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

"Ah, so I did," Loki said smugly. "I think it was rather clever of me."

"Once again, I am forced to remind you of the rule: no magic," Tony sighed.

"In case it has eluded you, I have no concern for your rules." Loki stared absently out the window at the scarlet sunset, and he couldn't have cared less about what Tony was saying. He picked up his helmet, which had been sitting in the same corner since the first day he'd taken up residence with Stark. Noticing a small smudge, he rubbed at it with his thumb while Tony rambled on about rules.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" Tony accused.

"Hmm?" Loki responded halfheartedly, replacing the helmet in its original spot. Tony groaned in exasperation and stormed off down the hall. For lack of anything better to do, Loki followed him but stopped when he realized that Tony had been headed to the bathroom. Loki was officially bored. He stood idly in the middle of the hallway, not quite knowing what to do with himself. He wondered when he and Thor would return home and began longing for that day.

As much as it pained him, he had to admit he missed the fun he'd had with Thor back on Asgard. But that was the past; how it used to be. Before Loki had ruined everything. He chided and cursed himself for his stupidity. Clenching his fists, he felt his nails digging into his skin, but he didn't care.

He leaned heavily against the wall and slid down until he sat on the floor. Slowly, he opened his hands, examining the little pink crescents where his fingernails had almost broken his skin. Loki crossed his arms over his knees and buried his face in them, brooding to himself until he fell into a fitful sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Alone. He was alone, the endless black his only companion. No sound could be heard, not even his own breathing. Although he wasn't sure why, he felt immensely sad. And suddenly, there was a light. No, a fire.

It spat and crackled, the only speck of illumination in the darkness. The fire leapt, and he was burning. He tried to cry out, but he could make no sound. He didn't think he had ever experienced such pain as the agony the fire caused. Through the dancing orange flames, he could make out a pair of figures.

"Look what you've done, Loki," they whispered. And then he recognized them. His parents, or so he had thought. Frigga's eyes were wide with sorrow and fear. Of what? Him?

"Look at what you've done," she repeated, a single tear falling from her eye. They faded away, replaced by Tony.

"Do you feel bad? You should," he said solemnly. The fire crackled around Loki and he writhed, trying in vain to escape. He saw Coulson as he took his dying breath, and the crowd of people Loki had forced to kneel to him. And that one brave old man, who had stood up to him. They were gone, and in their place stood Thor, calling his name over and over…

Loki awoke in a cold sweat, still curled up in the hallway. Thor crouched next to him, looking concerned.

"Loki? Loki?" he said. Loki locked eyes onto Thor's, the beginnings of tears swimming in their green depths.

"What have I done?" Loki hissed. Thor didn't answer, instead choosing to take Loki into a warm embrace. Loki buried his head into his brother's neck, trying his best to keep at bay the stinging tears.

"You're alright now, Loki. It was only a nightmare," Thor soothed softly, pressing his nose against the top of Loki's head.

"You are wrong. It is much more than that." Loki felt his breath catching in his throat as he spoke.

"You know I always love you, brother," Thor whispered into Loki's ear. "Always."

Loki closed his eyes and allowed himself to slip back into sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The next morning, Loki woke to find himself in his bedroom, though he clearly remembered falling asleep in the hall. A faint sound could be heard from the floor, the sound of someone breathing. Loki peered over the edge of the mattress.

"Thor? What are you doing in here?" Loki inquired sleepily. Thor was leaning against the wall, wrapped in a spare blanket and staring blankly at the wall opposite him. At the sound of Loki's voice, he slowly swiveled his head to face him.

"You're awake," Thor commented.

"Obviously. You never answered my question."

"You were having nightmares. I thought I might stay here to comfort you," Thor responded. Loki laced his fingers together and stared at his hands.

"What was it about?" Thor asked tenderly.

"You were there. So were Mother and Father. And Stark. There was a fire, burning me. Everyone was telling me that I failed; I ruined everything. They were right. I did spoil everything," Loki lamented, his voice threatening to break. He felt a warm tear slide down his cheek, and wiped it away quickly, hoping Thor hadn't seen.

"You didn't ruin anything." Thor stood and walked over to the bed, then sat down next to Loki. "And you didn't fail. You were only trying to prove yourself to Father."

"Oh, but I did. I failed miserably. No one will ever forgive me. Not here, not on Asgard. Nowhere." Loki shifted his gaze upward to face Thor, his eyebrows knotted in worry.

"I forgive you. That must count for something," Thor comforted, a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Thank you, Thor."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hey, are you okay?" Jane asked, staring at Loki with eyes full of concern.

"Of course. Why do you ask?" Loki answered, purposely averting his gaze.

"You look like you've been crying. Did something happen?"

"No." Loki shifted in his seat, hands clasped and resting on the kitchen table. Jane didn't believe him one bit. She sat down across from him and laid her hands over his.

"You can tell me," she said. "But you don't have to if you really don't want to."

"I am a terrible person, am I not?" Loki questioned after a long moment of silence.

"I think you're an awesome person." Jane squeezed his hands gently.

"I see why Thor loves you so," Loki commented.

"Why is that?"

"You are so kind. And understanding. You remind me a bit of Frigga," Loki said, almost absently, as if he wasn't really there.

"I hear she's quite lovely," Jane remarked. "So thank you."

"She is. I sometimes wish she really was my mother, not just a lie," Loki sighed.

"But she is your mom. Even if she didn't actually give birth to you. She took care of you and she loves you, no matter what. That's all that matters." Jane smiled warmly before leaving Loki in silence, with nothing but his thoughts. He stared down at his hands, which felt cold in Jane's absence. For a long time, the only sound was his breathing.

"Why so sad, Frosty?" Tony asked, suddenly appearing in the room. Loki hadn't noticed his approach; he had been in too deep a reverie.

"It really does not matter." Loki rested his head on his fist and stared at the wall.

"You and Thunderpants get in a fight or something?"

"No, Stark, we did not." Loki drummed his fingers on the table.

"Then why do you look like your puppy just died?"

"I do not own a dog," Loki informed.

"I know. I'm just saying you look real sad."

"I am fine, obviously. Now leave me alone," Loki snapped.

"Fine. Just trying to be a friend." Tony shrugged and left.

"I really am sorry for Coulson's death," Loki said quietly, just before Tony was out of earshot.

"I know." Tony stuck his head back into the room, smiling. "He was pretty awesome."

"I am sorry for everything."

"Maybe someday all the people whose loved ones you murdered will forgive you," Tony said, half-joking. Loki stared at him.

"Sorry. That was kinda mean," Tony apologized. Loki sighed.

"Hey, you might have caused a lot of trouble for a lot of people, myself included, but from what I understand, you were just trying to make your dad happy," Tony comforted, crossing his arms. Loki began tracing invisible circles on the table with his index finger.

"Is it just me, or does it feel really angsty in here?" Darcy commented, appearing in the doorway.

"Frosty is upset and I'm not sure why," Tony said.

"Well, this worked last time; maybe it'll work again," Darcy said.

"What worked?" Tony asked. He was answered a second later as Darcy seated herself on Loki's lap and kissed him.

"Oh, that," Tony said slowly. He stood there for thirty seconds in a very awkward silence.

"I'll just leave you two to…that," he said before quickly excusing himself. Loki sighed lightly, relieved that Tony had finally left.

"So did it work?" Darcy inquired, pulling away.

"Hmm. Not yet." Loki pulled her closer and kissed her again. He felt Darcy's fingers tangle in his hair and he could almost hear his heart pounding.

"Loki? Where have you gone?" Thor called from the hallway. "Loki?"

"In here," he answered, pushing Darcy off and leaping up in one movement. Loki raked his hand through his hair in an attempt to fix it just as Thor entered the kitchen.

"Oh! There you are. Why is Miss Lewis on the ground?" Thor said.

"She enjoys it down there," Loki responded, shrugging.

"Oh. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes. In fact, I am feeling quite content."

"HA! TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK, TONY!" Darcy yelled.

"What?" Thor asked.

"Never mind," Loki responded, chuckling to himself.

**Author's note: I seriously almost cried while writing this...ugh, I really didn't mean for it to be so emotional. I guess that's what happens when I listen to "Silhouette" by Owl City right before working on my fics...**


	19. What's So Great About the Kitchen?

**Author's note: Hola, peeps. Okay...I'm officially paranoid, so from now on, this fic will be rated T, although it's more of a T- if that even makes sense...oh well. Let's assume it does. And one more thing. This is not and never will be a FrostIron fic. So no one else can ask now. Thank you. No offense to those who have asked, and I'm not peeved at you, I'm just putting that out there. So, anyway, on with da chapter!**

Tick, tick, tick. Time moved ever so slowly when you couldn't sleep. It seemed to Loki that it had been five past twelve for twenty years. He glanced at the clock for the umpteenth time and noticed with relief that a minute had elapsed. Loki rolled onto his side and sighed. He couldn't seem to get comfortable, no matter how he positioned himself.

Realizing he was thirsty, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and, taking his blanket with him, proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. He reached the staircase, and just as he stepped forward to begin his descent, his foot tangled in the blanket and he pitched down the stairs.

"Oh dear Odin! Ow! Oh!" Loki landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, moaning softly. His blanket was still tangled around his foot and his pants had nearly slipped off.

"Loki?" someone asked from upstairs.

"What?" he groaned.

"You okay?"

"Yes, Rogers. I will be fine. Hopefully. Holy Jotunheim, that hurt," Loki said, slowly sitting up. He flexed his joints to confirm that nothing was broken. Aside from a bruise forming under his ribs, he appeared to be unharmed.

"What even happened?" Steve questioned, descending the steps to stand beside Loki.

"This infernal blanket tripped me and I fell," Loki snapped, standing up and adjusting his pants.

"Looks like you got a nasty bruise," Steve commented. Wincing, Loki poked it gently.

"I loathe stairs," Loki decided.

"They're important. How else are you supposed to go up and down to different floors?"

"Elevators. Escalators. Magic," Loki suggested.

"Not everyone has those things," Steve argued.

"You're exasperating," Loki sighed, picking up the blanket and continuing forward to the kitchen. He took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water.

"Why are you still here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve.

"I don't know," he answered with a shrug. Loki emptied his glass of water and set the cup in the sink. A second later, Thor appeared, followed by Bruce.

"Are we having a party in here or something? Why are there so many people?" Bruce asked.

"I heard my brother's shouts and came to see what the problem was," Thor said.

"Me and Thor kinda had the same idea," Steve said.

"I fell down Stark's hellish stairs," Loki reported coldly.

"Are you okay, Loki?" Bruce asked.

"Once again, yes, I shall be fine," Loki sighed.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, entering the room.

"Oh my gosh. _Seriously_? What's so great about the kitchen at midnight?" Bruce said.

"I didn't even know anyone else was down here," Tony defended.

"Then why are you here?"

"I was hungry." Tony opened the fridge and began digging through its contents as Jane's footsteps were heard down the hall.

"Thor?" she called softly.

"You're kidding," Bruce said, exasperated.

"I am in here, Jane," Thor answered. Jane appeared in the doorway, wrapped in a bed sheet.

"Oh…I didn't know anyone else was in here," she said awkwardly, blushing lightly.

"You been having fun?" Tony retracted his head from the fridge and shot her a mischievous grin, one eyebrow raised. Jane's face was positively burning as she quickly excused herself, hurrying off down the hall.

"Real smooth there, Tony," Bruce teased.

"Remind me to tell Pepper to buy some food that's actually good," Tony remarked, completely off topic. He shut the fridge and turned around to four pairs of eyes staring steadily at him.

"What?" he questioned.

"I think you have officially mortified Jane for life. Congratulations," Bruce answered.

"Thor too," Steve added. He was right; Thor was feeling quite embarrassed and was now staring down at his toes. Tony shrugged.

"You don't even care, do you?"

"Nope."

"You're unbelievable," Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Things like that are private and I'm sure they don't want you blabbing about it."

"We'll look back on this tomorrow and then it will be hilarious," Tony assured, reopening the fridge and pulling out a jug of milk.

"Tony, please get a cup. Other people drink that too, and we don't want your spit in it," Bruce requested. He was ignored.

"I do what I want," Tony said. He had definitely improved his Loki impression, and Thor couldn't help but laugh. Loki wasn't amused.

"See? Thunderpants has already forgotten about it. So why don't we just move on?" Tony said.

"Because you need to stop being nosy," Steve replied.

"I agree," Loki said, remembering the air vent incident back at the hotel. Tony just shrugged again, took another drink, and replaced the milk jug.

"I forgive you, Man of Iron. But next time, please do not intrude on my business," Thor said.

"Fine, okay. But technically I didn't intrude. Jane walked in here and I merely made an educated observation," Tony argued.

"Well that's just terrific, Sherlock, but next time keep your observations to yourself," Bruce said before heading back to his bedroom. Loki yawned widely and stretched his arms out behind him, arching his back.

"You know, Thor, I just realized how tall you are," Tony commented randomly, tilting his head back to look up at Thor.

"Okay…random…," Steve said.

"You have known Thor for a long enough period of time that you should have noticed his height before now," Loki said, amazed at how idiotic Stark could be.

"You guys are all tall. You make me feel short," Tony said.

"You _are_ short." Loki seated himself on the countertop, lightly tapping the cabinets below him with his heel.

"Not really…," Tony defended, crossing his arms.

"Yes, you are," Loki responded. He twisted his arm back to scratch an itch between his shoulder blades, annoyed that he couldn't quite reach it.

"Well, you're skinny," Tony argued.

"Better than being overweight."

"Not when you look like an albino toothpick."

"Is there even a such thing?"

"I'll invent one."

"This is just tiring. I'm going to bed," Steve decided with a sigh.

"So shall I," Thor said.

"Have fun with Jane," Tony teased.

"You just can't stop, can you?" Steve asked, climbing the stairs.

"Nope." Tony exited the room as well, leaving Loki alone. He sat on the counter for a few minutes, pondering to himself, then finally deciding to head back upstairs to try and get some sleep. But first, he wanted to have some fun. He started off down the hall until he reached his desired destination. Loki leapt at the closed door, flinging it open while simultaneously screaming.

Jane instantly yelped and dove under the covers while Thor just sat there in a stunned silence and Loki doubled over in hysterical laughter.

"Valhalla, Loki!" Thor snapped after a moment. "What were you thinking!?"

"I am thinking that was hilarious," he giggled, closing the door and dashing off to his bedroom. Suddenly he wondered if that had been the best idea. Thor was much bigger and stronger than Loki, and could deal him some serious damage if he wanted. Loki locked his door just to be safe and laid down in his bed, pulling the blanket up to his chin. He would deal with Thor in the morning.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Luckily, it seemed that Thor had chosen to overlook Loki's mischief. But unfortunately, Tony still couldn't pass up the opportunity to taunt Thor and Jane.

"So, what's the news? Are we gonna have little Thors running around here?" Tony asked as everyone (minus Pepper, who was too busy with some order of business) sat at the table eating a breakfast of sorts.

"What?" Darcy's toast froze halfway to her mouth. Jane just blushed and Thor silently drained his cup of coffee.

"Well?" Tony persisted, smirking.

"No. I hope not," Jane sighed. Clint and Natasha looked a bit confused, but decided they would rather not interfere. Tony snickered.

"I repeat: _what_?" Darcy said, setting her toast down.

"Never mind," Jane answered, lightly clearing her throat. Darcy was a bit disappointed, but she didn't want to nag.

"Please keep to your own business," Thor requested, opening a box of PopTarts.

"But that's too boring," Tony complained.

"That may just be too bad," Jane said.

"Oh, and Loki," Thor began, staring sternly at his brother. Loki swallowed hard. Here it comes. "I shall speak to you in private later."

Loki groaned inwardly. That was worse than just being yelled at in front of everyone. Now he had to brood on it for who knows how long.

"Why?" Tony intruded.

"Brother has the same issue as you, Man of Iron. You both need to learn to stay out of others' business," Thor answered.

"What'd he do?" Tony inquired. Loki just laughed to himself while Thor continued staring holes in him.

"Okay. Don't tell me," Tony grumbled.

"Okay. We won't," Jane responded. Loki endured the rest of breakfast in uncomfortable silence. At last, the others left, and he found himself alone with Thor.

"What do you wish to speak with me about?" Loki asked, a bit nervously.

"I believe you are fully aware. I will forgive you this once, but know that I do not appreciate your intrusion." Thor was stern, but not abrasive. Loki let out a small sigh.

"I should not have done that. I'm sorry," Loki said. "It wasn't exactly a pleasant view, anyway."

Thor shook his head, smiling slightly. "Oh, I nearly forgot."

"What is it?" Loki questioned.

"It is almost time," Thor said. "To go home, I mean."

"How soon?" Loki asked eagerly, instantly perking up.

"Father did not say. But he did tell me he has been increasingly pleased with your behavior, and he tells me Mother has practically begged him to let you return," Thor reported, chuckling softly near the end. Loki grinned widely.

"Wonderful! Oh, how I despise it here," he said.

"It is not so bad, really," Thor argued gently.

"Yes, Thor, it is. Especially when there are those like Stark," Loki replied.

"But there are also those like Jane," Thor said. Loki had to agree; not every Midgardian was as infuriating as Stark.

"Wait. This almost seems too simple. Odin was never satisfied easily…you mean to tell me that not even three moons of exile is enough for him?" Loki was becoming more and more skeptical as he spoke.

"That is what I understood, yes," Thor confirmed. "Father and Mother really do love you, Loki. I wish you could see that."

"I see it. I just refuse to believe it." And with that, Loki pushed his chair back and climbed up the stairs to his room. He laid down on his bed, tossing a crumpled piece of paper up in the air and catching it over and over until he missed and it hit him in the face. The paper bounced off onto the floor. Too lazy to pick it up, Loki just laid there and stared up at the ceiling, his mind working a thousand miles per hour.

If what Thor had said was true, he would only have to endure a bit longer on this wretched excuse for a realm. But, then again, Thor had a knack for misunderstanding and getting confused. Loki wondered why Odin communicated only with Thor. After a moment's consideration, though, he decided he'd rather not speak with Odin anyway. Ten minutes trickled by, and eventually Loki became bored.

He rose from the bed and leisurely made his way down the hallway to Darcy's bedroom. She was reclining on her bed with a laptop, scanning the comments on her Facebook page. Loki slipped silently into the room and seated himself on the bed, leaning back against the headboard and crossing his arms over his stomach.

"So, you're allowed to just walk on in here whenever you want now?" Darcy asked with a friendly tone.

"Yes," Loki answered, smiling crookedly. "What is that?" He pointed one slender finger at Darcy's computer screen.

"Facebook," she replied.

"Care to explain?"

"Basically you just post pictures and you can also just write stuff that happened to you. And you can comment on your friends' stuff," she said.

"Seems pointless." Loki absently curled his arm around Darcy's waist and craned his head forward for a better look at her Facebook.

"Is that…Thor?" Loki jabbed a finger at a small picture on the screen.

"Yeah. I took that one a while ago. Right around the time when he broke that coffee cup in the middle of the restaurant," Darcy replied. Loki smiled and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Thor is quite the idiot," he remarked.

"He's cool, though. And you gotta admit, he's pretty hot," Darcy said.

"Actually, I cannot admit that, because for one he is my brother, and for two, I am not a homosexual," Loki argued, raising an eyebrow. Darcy laughed.

"He's still hot."

"And I am not?"

"I never said you weren't," she answered, closing her laptop and placing it on the nightstand. Loki smiled again and shifted his hips, scooting closer to Darcy.

"So, why are you in here?" Darcy asked, gently grabbing Loki's hand.

"Oh, I was bored. Nothing better to do." Loki idly rubbed Darcy's side with his thumb, gazing blankly at the wall in front of him.

"Hm. Well, I feel important," Darcy teased. She playfully slapped Loki on the shoulder. Loki didn't respond. He suddenly was feeling very tired, despite the fact that it was only noon. Loki yawned widely. Briefly, he considered going back to his own bedroom, but he was getting much too sleepy.

The next moment, rather without his consent, Loki had fallen asleep, only to be rudely awakened a half hour later. In his unconsciousness, he hadn't noticed Tony enter the room, and now Loki was completely awake with his ear still ringing from the shrill honking of an air horn. Loki gritted his teeth and scowled at Tony. This meant war.


	20. Sleipnir Misses His Mum

**Author's note: Sorry I took, like, fifty million years to update. I had way too much fun writing this chapter, lol. Forgive me, Loki. **

"Sir, it is ten thirty in the morning. You may want to wake up now." Jarvis's smooth voice broke the silence, rousing Tony from a peaceful sleep. He grunted in response and wrapped his blanket tighter around himself.

"Sir," Jarvis persisted. Tony reluctantly opened his eyes a bit. Pepper was still asleep. He envied her ability to sleep through the sound of Jarvis nagging him to wake up in the mornings. Then again, Pepper was always working, so what little sleep she got she took graciously and didn't wake up easily. In addition, it was a Sunday, so she felt she had the right to sleep in for a while. Apparently Jarvis didn't believe in sleeping in.

"Wake up, sir."

"Shut up, Jarvis," Tony groaned, throwing his arm across Pepper and pressing his face into her neck.

"Sir, it is now ten thirty-five," Jarvis informed. Tony ignored him. The overhead lights blinked on and Tony cursed Jarvis under his breath.

"Fiiine," Tony sighed, forcing himself to sit up. Beside him, Pepper yawned and opened her eyes.

"Good morning," she said sleepily, sitting up and brushing her hair away from her face.

"The morning would be much better if Jarvis hadn't been so annoying," Tony complained.

"You have to learn to ignore him," Pepper said.

"I try. Oh, trust me, I try," Tony responded, rubbing his hands down his face.

"And you fail miserably," Jarvis interjected. Tony could've sworn he was mocking him.

"I built you. I can just as easily take you apart," Tony threatened, jabbing a finger at the ceiling.

"But you will not. I am much too important," Jarvis returned. Tony sighed, accepting his defeat in the argument. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, stretching his arms above his head. He opened the bedroom door and started out into the hallway, but he couldn't get past the doorframe before running into something that felt suspiciously like cellophane. Backing up a few steps, he frowned at the doorway.

"What's wrong?" Pepper asked, coming to stand beside him. Tony pressed a hand outward and confirmed his suspicions. Someone had stretched cellophane over the doorframe during the night and Jarvis hadn't bothered to tell him.

"Screw you, Loki!" Tony yelled, ripping through the cellophane.

"No, thank you. You're really not my type," came Loki's reply from somewhere down the hall.

"Sometimes I really hate him," Tony said to Pepper, tearing the last of the plastic from the door and storming out into the hallway. Tony descended the stairs down to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee with Pepper not far behind. He found Loki already downstairs, sitting on the couch with Darcy.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Tony asked, walking up behind Loki and slapping him in the back of the head.

"Payback for the air horn," Loki answered smugly. Tony just slapped Loki again and continued on to get a coffee mug out of a cupboard. A few moments later, he sat beside Loki on the couch, holding a steaming mug of coffee.

"Would you like to see something hilarious?" Loki whispered in Darcy's ear. She nodded eagerly, grinning. Loki concentrated his attention on Tony's coffee and performed a simple spell, causing a pair of slender black snakes to appear in place of the coffee. Tony, who hadn't noticed, brought the cup to his mouth. He tilted it back and screamed, throwing it hard at the wall, where it shattered into pieces. Loki's snakes slithered around on the floor before disappearing into small puffs of green smoke.

"Aw, man! What? How did that even happen?" Tony spluttered. Loki laughed.

"Oh. I see." Tony punched Loki in the shoulder.

"Ow." Loki's laughter only ceased for a second.

"That was kinda mean, Loki," Pepper chided.

"Do I look like I care?" Loki asked.

"For the last time, Reindeer Games, no magic!" Tony demanded. Loki only smirked, rather condescendingly.

"Now I have to make another cup of coffee," Tony complained, stalking off to the kitchen.

"Loki!" Thor called, rushing into the room. "Come, follow me!"

"Why?"

"Just come!"

"I'm coming too," Tony announced.

"Why?" Loki repeated.

"Because I'm Tony freaking Stark," he replied. Loki blinked at him for a moment before being dragged down the hallway by Thor. Tony followed, much to Loki's annoyance. Seconds later, they stood on the roof in silence before Tony spoke up.

"So…why are we up here? Yeah, the view's great and all, but really." He was answered a second later by a brilliant flash of light. It faded, and in its place stood Odin and Frigga.

"Loki!" Frigga exclaimed, lurching forward and wrapping her adopted son in a rib-crushing embrace.

"Oh, I've missed you so much," she cooed, stroking his hair. Eventually, she let go, and Loki stood rather awkwardly under her perusal. Frigga then proceeded to greet her oldest son, hugging him just as forcefully.

"I think I broke the world record for having the most Norse gods on your roof at once," Tony remarked.

"Oh, and who is this?" Frigga questioned, smiling warmly at Tony.

"Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Tony said, earning a blank, confused stare from both Odin and Frigga.

"…Lovely," Frigga commented after a moment. She hugged him anyway.

"What is that in your chest?" she inquired, pointing a finger at Tony's arc reactor. He looked down, only just realizing he was wearing nothing more than his boxers.

"My battery," he answered, tapping the arc reactor with his index finger. Frigga frowned slightly but decided not to question it further. Meanwhile, Loki glared venom at Odin, but he either didn't notice or was ignoring him.

"It just hasn't been the same without you around," Frigga mused. "It seems like just yesterday you and Thor were naught but this tall." She squatted slightly, holding her outstretched palm at knee's height.

"Mother…," Loki began, whining slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just so wonderful to see you again!" Frigga crooned. Odin had stayed uncharacteristically silent throughout the course of the conversation until this point.

"I'm sure Thor has told you that you are nearly due to return home," he said. "Your mother will not cease her begging, you know."

"But I've just missed him so terribly!" Frigga defended.

"Yes I know."

"And Loki," Frigga continued. "You ought to know Sleipnir misses his mum!"

Loki groaned and buried his face in his hands, his cheeks burning with a bright red blush. Tony laughed so hard he thought he might pass out. He was silenced by a death glare from Thor.

"That isn't funny at all," Tony deadpanned before collapsing into another fit of giggles.

"So help me Stark, I will strangle you if you do not cease your laughter this instant," Loki snapped threateningly, his face still an impressive shade of crimson.

"Ooh, no need to get sassy," Tony said, crossing his arms.

"I'm not too fond of him," Frigga whispered to Odin, pointing a finger at Tony.

"No one is," Loki informed.

"I can tell when I'm unwanted," Tony grumbled, turning and making his way back downstairs.

"Oh dear. Have I offended him?" Frigga worried.

"Do not fret over it. A dent in his massive ego will only benefit him," Loki assured.

"Alright then. So, Thor. Where is your woman? I would love to meet her," Frigga said.

"The Lady Jane is inside. Come, follow me," Thor answered, proceeding downstairs with the others in tow.

"Jane?" Thor called once they were in the living room.

"Hmm?" Jane was seated on the sofa next to Darcy, still dressed in her pajamas and her hair unkempt. "Oh! Hello," she added after noticing Thor's parents. "Oh, man. I look terrible."

"My, you are even more lovely than Thor described!" Frigga gushed, cupping Jane's face in her hands. Jane blushed and bowed slightly.

"Thank you, ma'am," she said politely, a bit unsure of how to address a goddess.

"Oh, don't bother with that. Just call me Frigga. Or, perhaps in the future, you shall call me Mother," Frigga replied, her eyes glinting. Jane blushed deeper and smiled. Did that mean Frigga liked her? She hoped so.

"Have you found a woman yet, Loki?" Frigga asked, clasping his hand in her own.

"Um, sort of, I suppose," he replied.

"Oh! Is it her?" Frigga placed her hand on Darcy's shoulder, grinning sweetly.

"Perhaps," Loki said vaguely.

"She's pretty," Frigga remarked, causing Darcy to blush a bit.

"Thanks," she said meekly.

"Hopefully we'll get some lovely grandchildren out of this!" Frigga cooed, nudging Odin in the ribs. Darcy and Jane could both feel their faces burning bright crimson. Loki hoped Tony wouldn't make one of his infamous comments about it. Luckily, Tony was staying quiet for once.

"Hey, hey, hey," Clint greeted, dropping down from the rafters, followed by Natasha.

"Whoa." Clint had just noticed Frigga and Odin.

"Friends, I would like for you to meet my Mother and Father," Thor introduced.

"Wow. Your mom is kinda hot," Clint said. Frigga stared. Odin frowned venomously. Natasha slammed her knee between Clint's legs and flipped him so that he landed on his back in the floor, the breath completely knocked out of him. Natasha nodded in approval of her work.

"I'm sorry," she apologized to Odin and Frigga. "You have to be firm with him sometimes."

"We could use a warrior like you on Asgard," Frigga complemented. "I am Frigga. What are you called?"

"Natasha Romanoff," she answered. "And this is Clint Barton." She kicked the archer lightly in the ribs. He moaned softly in response.

"You have such…interesting friends," Frigga commented to Thor and Loki.

"Friends? I beg to differ," Loki snorted, crossing his arms. Clint, finally catching his breath, rose to his feet and gave Natasha a rather pathetic kicked puppy look. He was ignored.

"I think you damaged me, Tasha," he reported painfully.

"Good." She returned her attention to the Asgardian king and queen.

"With all due respect, why are you here?" she questioned.

"Oh, I just wanted to come visit my little boys," Frigga answered. "Odin won't let Loki come home yet, but I just had to see him."

"Isn't it dangerous to leave Asgard unprotected like that?"

"No one knows we've left. We shall be returning soon anyway. Any enemies won't have a chance to wreak much havoc before we get back," Frigga said.

"Frigga, we really must be going now," Odin persisted, looking rather tired and put out. "Now that it is mentioned, I worry for Asgard's safety."

"Alright. So long, Thor, Loki. I shall see you soon if I have my way with your Father! And it was lovely meeting the rest of you as well." Frigga grabbed Odin's hand, and with a brilliant flash of light, they were gone.

"That's not fair," Tony remarked.

"What?" Loki asked.

"Spangles and Hulky didn't get to meet your parents," he answered.

"That is no problem of mine, Stark," Loki sneered.

"I'm really beginning to see how amazingly different you are from the rest of your family," Tony said.

"In case it has not yet been realized, I am adopted, meaning I have no relation to them whatsoever," Loki responded irritably.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Tony teased.

"And they said they'd be back. Maybe next time Steve and Bruce can meet them," Natasha reminded everyone.

"I hear myself being discussed." Bruce entered the room, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, you missed it. Thunderpants's parents visited," Tony replied.

"Hm. So I'm guessing that explains why everyone looks so awkward and embarrassed. Or, in Clint's case, in pain," Bruce deduced thoughtfully.

"Tasha hit me where I should never be hit," Clint said.

"Only because you called Thor's mom hot," Natasha defended, punching Clint in the shoulder for good measure.

"Now I'm glad I missed it," Bruce announced.

"You know, you and Spangles have been keeping kinda quiet here lately," Tony mused.

"I'm just trying to avoid being mentally scarred by you people. You're all insane." Bruce shook his head and sat down in a chair.

"Insane can be good," Tony decided.

"Example?"

"Uh…hmm. Hey what about that artist…what's-his-face? Oh yeah, Van Gogh. He was insane but he made some pretty awesome art," Tony suggested.

"He also cut off his own ear, so your argument is invalid."

"Screw you."

"Nah."

"Gosh, you're just as bad as Reindeer Games," Tony complained.

"Oh, I'm flattered," Bruce said sarcastically.

"You should be. Hey, where's Pepper? She was here before we went outside," Tony said, glancing around for his missing CEO.

"Right here." Pepper strode into the room, prompt and purposeful as ever.

"Awesome," Tony remarked. "You know, I'm hungry. What about pizza? I'm thinking pizza. Jarvis?"

"I'm already on it, sir. An order has been placed."

"Thanks, Jarvis. You're awesome."

"Yes, I know."

**Author's note: I told my friend the myth about Sleipnir. Her reaction was priceless. She said, "So there was a dude...then there was another dude...and BOOM there's a horse!?" I laughed so hard. Now whenever someone mentions horses she says, "Horses are disgusting!" Hahaha no one understands her XD **


	21. Finding Loopholes

**Author's note: Yay, it's been a million years since my last update. Sorry to keep you guys waiting, so here's two chapters. **

Loki made one very important discovery: Pizza is an amazing thing. The only downside was that at first, he had insisted that he would hate it, so when he discovered that he in fact loved it, Loki had received one of Stark's infamous I-told-you-so grins. Loki had responded by throwing a pizza crust at Tony. The mischievous god was currently seated at the table, staring forlornly at the now empty pizza boxes, wishing there was still something in them.

"I can't believe you hadn't tried pizza before," Tony remarked with a shake of his head.

"If you will remember, I am not from around here," Loki retorted.

"Still," Tony said, flicking a crumb around on the table. Just to vex Tony, Loki rested his feet up on the table, kicking aside a pizza box in the process.

"Dude, I just realized how awesome your boots are," Clint remarked.

"Why, thank you. They are quite comfortable as well," Loki responded thoughtfully. Pepper pushed her chair back and began gathering up the empty boxes to throw away. Steve, ever the gentleman, stood to help.

"You're just always so busy. I thought it would be the right thing to do," he explained after Pepper had questioned him. She had smiled warmly in reply.

"See, Tony? Some people are actually _helpful_," Pepper chided.

"I can be helpful," he argued.

"Great. Then you can wipe off the table." She held out a roll of paper towels. Tony raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to set it on the table. Sighing, she complied, and Tony picked it up. He really hated to be handed things…

He tore off a paper towel and began wiping down the table, shoving Loki's feet off. Frowning disapprovingly, Loki stood and left, not bothering to push his chair in. Two minutes later, the table was clean and pizza box-free. Tony tossed his used paper towel into the trash can from across the room and spun on his heel, walking towards the currently unoccupied sofa. Just as he was about to sit down, Loki materialized behind him and almost received a lap full of genius.

"Please don't do that," Tony gasped. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Almost? How disappointing," Loki sneered.

"Can you even have a heart attack?" Steve questioned, gesturing at the arc reactor.

"If I take the arc reactor out, I go into cardiac arrest…so yes," Tony responded, seating himself beside Loki.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Loki asked, reaching for Tony's chest. Tony slapped his hands away and frowned.

"Someone's extra vicious today," he remarked. Loki just huffed and stared out the window.

"Aww, did your mommy embarrass you? Is that why you're upset?" Tony taunted, speaking as if Loki were a small child. Loki's eyes blazed with hatred and annoyance. He looked ready to strangle someone, most likely Tony.

"Whoa, sorry," Tony muttered.

"Who thought it was a good idea to have you two in the same building, anyway?" Steve asked.

"Thor," they replied in unison.

"Figures," Steve said. A few moments passed and no one said anything.

"You know," Tony began, breaking the silence, "this whole 'no alcohol in the building' thing is really starting to make me suffer."

"You're welcome," Loki said, grinning crookedly.

"Wait. You guys, I have a solution." Tony leapt up from the sofa and sprinted out of the room.

"Should we be concerned?" Bruce inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably," Pepper replied, but made no effort to go after Tony. A moment later, he ran back into the room, fully armored with the Iron Man suit, and was gone out the door in under thirty seconds.

"Yes. We should worry," Pepper corrected. After ten minutes passed and there was still no sign of Tony, Pepper took Steve and Thor with her to go find him. He was sitting right outside of the tower, leaning against the wall and drinking scotch straight from the bottle.

"Sup?" he greeted.

"I see you've found a loophole," Pepper commented.

"So I have."

"Where'd you even get that?"

"Store. _Duh_," Tony answered.

"So they didn't find it strange at all that you just walked in fully suited up?" Pepper questioned, picking up Tony's discarded helmet.

"They're used to me," Tony shrugged, taking a long drink.

Pepper sighed, "Come on, Tony. We're going inside now."

"Aww. What am I s'post to do with this?" Tony held up his now half-empty scotch bottle and raised his eyebrows at Pepper.

"Get rid of it?" she suggested.

"Hold on. I got this." Tony brought the bottle to his mouth and began gulping its contents down as quickly as he could. Pepper yanked it out of his hand and smashed it on the sidewalk. Thor jumped a bit as some of the remaining liquid splashed onto him.

"That wasn't nice, Pep," Tony complained, his words slurred slightly.

"I'm sorry, Tony," she sighed. "It was either that or drag your sorry drunk butt inside after waiting for you to finish it."

Tony just laughed.

"Come on, Tony. Get up. I want to go inside; people are staring," Steve interjected just as a slightly concerned woman carefully eluded the mess of scotch and broken glass. She glanced back over her shoulder at Tony, then shook her head and moved on. Tony moaned in response to Steve's comment and made no effort to move. Thor bent over and grabbed Tony around the waist and hefted him over his shoulder.

"Thanks, Thor," Pepper said. "God, how do I deal with him every day?"

"I'm just awesome like that," Tony replied. "Wow, Thor, you're strong." Tony stayed silent during the trek inside and into the living room. Thor dumped Tony onto the sofa, where Loki still sat.

"Hey," Tony greeted, turning his head to look in Loki's general direction.

"You reek of alcohol, Stark," Loki complained, wrinkling his nose.

"Well, great to see you, too," Tony said sarcastically. Loki scooted as far away from Tony as the sofa would allow. Pepper sat down between them and sighed.

"Hey, Pepper," Tony said. "C'mere, I gotta tell you something."

Pepper leaned over, expecting him to whisper something in her ear. Instead, he turned her face towards his and rather clumsily kissed her.

"Oh, I do _not_ need to see this," Loki whined, averting his gaze and holding up his hand. Almost a full minute ticked by and Loki lost it.

"That's it. I am leaving," he announced, leaping up and heading for the door. Not sure what to do with himself, Loki stood alone in the hallway and began practicing a variety of shape-shifting spells. First he was a serpent, then a panther, a common house cat, and…oh, crap. 'No. This did not just happen,' Loki thought. It didn't matter how many times he performed the incantation, his body refused to return to its human form. 'Why me?' Loki thought in despair. He rested his chin on his paws and curled his tail around himself, cursing the very day.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Steve was feeling rather content. To his knowledge, nothing exceptionally odd had occurred, and Loki wasn't tormenting him incessantly. Yes, today was a good day. Steve strolled casually down the hallway and was surprised to find a small, black cat asleep in the floor.

"Aww," he cooed to himself, smiling. "How cute." He picked up the cat and it awoke, hissing reproachfully at him. Something about its intelligent emerald eyes seemed familiar, but Steve couldn't quite put his finger on it. Shrugging off the strange feeling, Steve grinned and gently stroked the cat's head. He had always loved cats…

"Loki?" Thor called. "Loki, where have you gone?" Thor came into view, brow furrowed in a frown.

"Hello. From where did you receive that animal?" Thor greeted.

"I just found him in the hallway. It is a him, right?" Steve shifted the cat in his arms so that it laid on its back. "Yep, it's a boy." The cat yowled and looked almost embarrassed.

"Why was it in here? I did not think any animals resided here," Thor mused.

"I have no idea. I'll have to ask Tony later," Steve answered.

"Have you seen my brother? I have looked everywhere for him and have yet to locate him," Thor said.

"No, sorry," Steve lamented. The cat meowed loudly.

"You're a talkative little guy, aren't you?" Steve asked, scratching the animal behind the ears. It began to purr. Thor started down the hall to continue his search for Loki. The cat jumped down from Steve's arms and arched its back before strutting off in the direction of the living room. Steve followed it.

"Tony, did you know there is a cat living in your tower?" Steve questioned as he and said feline entered the living room.

"No," Tony answered. Steve picked up the cat and showed him to Tony, who just squinted at it.

"It looks like Loki," he remarked. The cat mewed softly.

"Hm." Steve examined the cat. In a strange way, it did look somewhat like Loki. "I guess. Speaking of Loki, Thor was looking for him just now. Any of you seen him?"

"Nope," Pepper answered. "He left a few minutes ago and I haven't seen him since. I would really like to know where that cat came from, though."

"I just had a crazy thought," Darcy interjected.

"What?" Pepper questioned.

"Y'know how Loki can, like, shape-shift or whatever? What if that's him?" Darcy pointed at the cat, which was currently trying to claw at Steve's face.

"If that was Loki, he would've just used his magic to turn back into himself by now," Bruce presumed.

"But what if it's broken?" Darcy contradicted.

"I didn't know magic could break," Bruce responded.

"Broken, malfunctioning, whatever you call it. I don't know! I'm not a magic expert," Darcy huffed. Steve, who had finally gotten the cat to quit trying to maul him, said, "I have an idea." He set the cat on the counter.

"If you're Loki, meow twice, then get up and walk to the other end of the counter," he instructed.

"Steve, that's redic-" Bruce cut himself off as the cat obeyed Steve's instructions, exactly as he had said.

"Haha! I was right for once!" Darcy triumphed, pumping a fist in the air. The cat…er, Loki, seemed rather annoyed and distraught.

"So what do we do?" Pepper asked. "Obviously he can't turn back, or he would've done that already."

"I say we just wait for it to wear off like all those other magical disasters," Steve proposed, gently petting Loki's head with his index finger.

"Uh, okay. That's really awkward that you can treat him like a normal kitty after he tried to kill you not too long ago," Tony commented. Steve blushed a bit and took an exaggerated step away from Loki. He seemed almost disappointed at the sudden lack of attention.

"I hope this wears off soon, cause I have no idea how the hell you're supposed to take care of a cat," Tony said. Loki gave him a look that seemed to say, "I can take care of myself, thanks."

"Should we go get cat food?" Steve inquired. Loki wrinkled his nose and hissed.

"I'm guessing that's a no," Steve deduced. "If you don't want cat food, what are we supposed to feed you?"

"People food?" Tony suggested.

"Okay. I guess. Isn't it bad for cats to eat people food, though?" Steve argued.

"This is no ordinary cat, Spangles," Tony countered dramatically, standing up from his seat on the couch. He walked over to Steve, swaying a bit, and leaned on the counter to inspect Loki.

"I'm gonna have to come up with some clever cat-related nickname for ya after this," he remarked. Loki extended his claws and swiped Tony across the nose.

"_Ow_!" he whined, wiping a drop of blood from his nose. If cats could smirk, Loki was doing just that. He began licking his paw, zoning out the rest of the world, and concentrating only on wanting to be human again. Well, as close to human as a Norse deity could get. Loki suddenly felt himself growing larger and much more person-shaped. Before he had time to react, he sat there looking very much like the Loki we all know and love, but embarrassingly enough, licking his hand. Slowly, he lowered his arm.

"Uh, Loki?" Tony began.

"What?"

"Dude, you're naked."

**Author's note: Ehehe.**


	22. You Look Like a Million Bucks

**Author's note: As promised, here's chapter numero uno. Ten to one the next chapter will be the last, but don't fret my pets, I shall have another Avengers-related fic up soon. Hopefully. Thank you all!**

Loki sat on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket. Unfortunately, all of his clothes were in the dirty laundry, and he was taking a break from his magic. A very long one. Too many things went wrong. So here he sat, waiting as Pepper scouted out some clothes that might fit him, as he refused to wear his until they had been laundered, and no one was willing to do the laundering. And, strangely enough, the clothes he had been wearing while practicing his magic had mysteriously disappeared after he had regained his human form.

Pepper returned a few moments later with a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a belt.

"The pants are Thor's, so I figured you'd need this," she commented, referring to the belt.

"Is this the best you could find? Gods, these pants look big enough for a horse," Loki sneered.

"Don't be mean, Loki. We could just let you go naked. And it's your fault you're too prissy to wear your own clothes just because they're in the dirty laundry," Pepper retorted. Loki just sighed, gathered up the clothes, and hurried off to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and paused as he caught his reflection in the mirror. Tony was right, Loki was skinny. His angular hip bones jutted out prominently and he could clearly see his collarbones. His abdomen was lightly muscled, so he didn't look too bad. 'Not bad at all,' he thought, raising an eyebrow at his reflection.

Shaking his head, Loki pulled on the jeans. They promptly slipped down around his ankles. Annoyed, he pulled them up again and put on the belt, tightening it to the second smallest hole. He tugged the shirt over his head. Plain white; most likely Steve's. Loki snorted at his reflection. He looked ridiculous.

Everything was at least three or four sizes too big. It made him feel scrawny, which he hated. He wasn't small, just thin, he reminded himself. In fact, he was a rather tall person. After taking one last look at himself, Loki picked up his discarded blanket and left the bathroom.

"Work it, Frosty!" Tony joked, having found a seat on the sofa while Loki had been getting dressed. "You look like a million bucks, and I should know."

"Shut up, Stark," Loki snapped.

"You know, I am gonna start ignoring you unless you call me Tony," he resolved.

"Then I suppose I shall have to get used to you ignoring me," Loki replied. "_Stark_," he added as an afterthought.

"If it means anything to you, Loki," Darcy began, "I still think you're sexy. Even wearing that."

"At least someone appreciates me," Loki grumbled.

"You look like some gangster or rapper or something. Now all you need is the sideways hat, and maybe some sunglasses," Tony joked.

"And perhaps all you need is a nice stab through the heart," Loki replied coldly, choosing that moment to take a risk and perform a bit of magic, the oversized t-shirt and jeans transforming into the dapper suit and scarf he had worn before on occasion.

"Arc reactor," Tony corrected with a shrug. "You know what, I feel like watching a movie. Sweet suit by the way, Lokes."

"Oh, yeah! Movie night!" Clint cheered, leaping down the stairs.

"It's not even evening yet, Clint. So actually…movie afternoon," Darcy corrected.

"But movies are more fun at night. Especially the scary ones," he argued.

"Legolas is right. Let's wait. That'll be fun," Tony agreed. "I hate waiting."

"Yeah, me too, but movies _are_ more fun at night," Darcy said.

"I agree; I would like to avoid the oncoming situation for as long as possible," Loki said, sitting in a chair at the table and resting his chin on his fist.

"Aw, come on, Lokes. It'll be fun," Tony persisted.

"For the third and final time, please do not call me that. I am neither your cat nor your girlfriend, so please refrain from giving me such nicknames," Loki requested.

"You were my cat for, like, ten minutes. And you wish you were my girlfriend," Tony teased.

"Firstly, I am not a female…at the moment. Second, I would not date you if the fate of all the Nine Realms depended on it," Loki spat.

"Ouch. That hurt," Tony said sarcastically. "Pepper is hotter than you anyway."

"Ha. That was funny. Pepper…hot…as in, like, hot peppers…heh," Clint laughed. "Puns…," he trailed off after he realized no one else was laughing.

"Well, that was awkward," Darcy said. "Or should I say hawk-ward? _Yeeaaaaahhhh_!"

Clint laughed and gave her a high-five.

"Too…many…puns. Short-circuiting…," Tony joked, pretending to faint.

"You guys are too fun," Darcy giggled.

"So what movie are you thinking, Tony?" Clint questioned.

"Uh…I haven't thought about it yet," he admitted.

"How about Princess Bride? I love that movie," Darcy suggested.

"Inconceivable!" Tony said. "Classic. Okay, I agree. Any objections?"

"It isn't scary," Clint commented.

"I have been against this idea since the start," Loki complained.

"Your opinion doesn't count, Reindeer Games," Tony replied. Loki glared, then got up from the table to sit on the sofa. Darcy sat on his lap and snuggled up against his chest.

"Aww. How adorable. Clint, go get my phone. I need a picture of this. Quality blackmail material right here," Tony said, only half-joking.

"You will do no such thing, or my helmet will be going in a very uncomfortable spot," Loki threatened.

"Whoa…okay." Clint held up his hands and slowly sat down on the floor.

"Thank you," Loki said hotly.

"Be nice, Loki," Darcy requested, nestling her head into Loki's neck.

"That may prove to be quite the challenge," Loki responded. He took Darcy's hand and began lightly rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. "You've been so kind to me…thank you," he remarked after a moment.

"Oh. You're welcome. I just kinda felt like you needed someone," Darcy replied. Loki pressed his lips against the top of her head and hugged her around the waist.

"This is getting way to mushy for me," Clint complained, wrinkling his nose. Loki closed his eyes and ignored the archer.

"Like the scarf, Loki," Darcy commented, breaking the silence that had commenced.

"I thought it to be rather fetching," he agreed.

"You really pull it off."

"Yes, I know."

Darcy gently nuzzled Loki's neck, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin against her face. She breathed in deeply, catching his scent of leather and something warm and herby. Looking back, she couldn't believe how much of a turn her life had taken. Not too long ago, she had just been your average American girl, if not a bit of a nerd. Now here she sat, cuddling with a Norse deity. She almost scoffed at the improbability of it all.

Darcy remembered when she and Jane had first met Thor. They hadn't exactly gotten off to a great start, unless hitting someone repeatedly with your car was considered friendly now. And tasing someone usually didn't mean you wanted to be associated with them. Darcy giggled inwardly at that memory. Good times…

She sighed lightly, tilting her head back to stare up at Loki. Never before had she deeply evaluated her feelings for him, but she'd always known they were there. There was just something about Loki, that although he was a dark and troubled person, he was intriguing. He made you feel sympathy for him even when you knew he was dead wrong and bound to the path to insanity. He was a mystery, a puzzle, and Darcy liked it.

"Loki?" she began.

"Hmm?" The way he raised one eyebrow and quirked the corner of his mouth like that made Darcy's heart almost stop.

"I…I think I…oh, never mind," she stuttered sheepishly.

"You know you may tell me anything," Loki soothed.

"Yeah." Darcy hated feeling embarrassed.

"_Oh, God_," Tony interrupted. "Please say you weren't gonna tell him you're pregnant. I don't think I could handle little Lokis."

"Ahh! No! Tony, stay out of this!" Darcy snapped. Satisfied that he had caused his share of chaos, Tony grinned and switched on the TV.

"What were you going to tell me?" Loki persisted, not willing to forget.

"I was just going to say," Darcy said, lowering her voice and whispering in Loki's ear, "I think I love you."

Loki's cheeks tinged with pink, but he didn't respond verbally for a long moment.

"That may be the single time I have ever been told that," he whispered back, a bit shocked, but not in a bad way. His stomach fluttered as he processed the true meaning of Darcy's words. She smiled. "I meant it, you know."

Loki decided to screw all modesty and kissed her deeply, right there in front of a snickering Tony and a rather awkward Clint. Darcy responded eagerly, placing her hands on his shoulders and pulling herself closer. She curled a finger around Loki's scarf and tugged it away, moving her kiss from his mouth to his slender neck. Loki closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure.

"Ok, guys, can you go somewhere…oh, I don't know, private?" Clint suggested. Loki grabbed Darcy's hand and pulled her across the room, up the stairs, and into a random room. Darcy pushed him up against the wall and latched onto his mouth, kissing him senseless.

"Uh…," someone began from behind them. Darcy gasped and pulled away from Loki, spinning around to face the other person in the room. 'Crap,' she thought.

"Hey, Steve," she greeted awkwardly. He merely stared wide-eyed at the couple, unsure of what to say. Loki softly cleared his throat and straightened out the wrinkles in his suit.

"I shall be leaving now," he announced, slipping out into the hallway as silently as a shadow.

"Sorry," Darcy apologized. She knew her cheeks were likely bright red.

"Um…it's fine…," he replied. "So, you and Loki. Are you, like, a thing now?"

"I guess you could say that. I mean, come on, that guy is three steps beyond sexy," Darcy answered, relieved that she had somewhat regained her usual personality.

"You do know he tried to take over the world, right? And I'm not sure all the insane is gone yet," Steve cautioned.

"Yeah, I know. There's just something about him…I can't quite place it," Darcy mused.

"I'd just be careful if I were you," Steve commented. Darcy nodded slightly and went off to her bedroom to think.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Loki sat Indian-style in the center of his bed, mulling over the events of the last few minutes. Absently, he brought a hand to the tender spot on his neck. There was likely to be a mark there later. 'How embarrassing,' he thought, making a mental note to wear his scarf until it faded. He knew he was extremely fond of Darcy, but he was still a bit unused to long-term relationships.

Back on Asgard, most of the women had gone for Thor without giving his little brother a second thought. Loki had gotten accustomed to it in time, and now being loved by someone seemed almost foreign. The last thing even vaguely close to a relationship Loki had had resulted in a rather odd birthing of an eight-legged horse, a memory Loki wasn't too proud of. Pushing Sleipnir to the back of his mind, Loki set his thoughts on Darcy. She was lovely, he couldn't deny himself of that.

But…was he really ready for the commitment of a full-on relationship? He hoped so. So far, he was enjoying it, and Frigga seemed to approve of his choice. Then again, anything was better than a horse. A male one, at that. Loki shuddered and tried his best to think of something else.

Loki lay back on the bed, hands clasped over his stomach and staring blankly up at the ceiling. He locked his gaze onto one of the blades on the fan and followed its movement until he became dizzy.

"Hey!" Tony called from downstairs. "Jack Frost! Your mom and dad are here! Again. And they want to talk to you! What?" He paused for a moment. "You too, Thunderpants!"

Loki's breath caught in his throat as he stood and strode down to the living room in a daze. He arrived to find Thor already there, accompanied by Odin and Frigga. So Stark _had_ been telling the truth.

"Loki," Odin began. "Your mother and I have spoken with each other and we have reached a decision. Your punishment is far from over, but you are now permitted to return to Asgard."

**Author's note: Yay! Fluff. Yes I know the ending to this one was a tad cheesy, but I don't care. Audios. **


	23. Home

**A\N: Holy Jotunheim, this took forever. Sorry guys. Well, this is the last chapter. I enjoyed writing this, and I hope you all liked it, too! A big thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited this. **

"Are…are you certain?" Loki's mind whirred a million miles per hour. Go home? Already? It seemed too soon. He definitely wanted to return to Asgard, more than anything, but his brain wouldn't properly process the idea.

"Yes, Loki. Why would I say so if I wasn't?" Odin replied. Frigga held onto his arm, smiling warmly at her sons.

"This is a most joyous occasion!" Thor boomed.

"Indeed," Frigga agreed.

"I am not sure what to think," Loki admitted, looking from Frigga to Odin and back again.

"Then don't! Aren't you excited to come home?" Frigga beamed.

"Yes, Mother, of course. But there is someone here whom I shall greatly miss," Loki sighed wistfully.

"Who is it? The girl?" Frigga asked, releasing Odin's arm from her grip only to take hold of Loki's.

"Yes," he answered. Frigga knitted her brows and began to think.

"Why could you not just visit her on occasion?" Frigga suggested.

"I suppose I could," Loki speculated.

"Whoa. Wait. You'll be coming back?" Tony interjected.

"Of course. I cannot just forget about Miss Lewis, now can I?" Loki said, smirking a bit.

"Just stay away from me whenever you visit," Tony requested.

"Gladly."

"Do you see what you've raised? This dude is _mean_," Tony complained to Frigga.

"Loki can be a bit snippy, but he's usually quite mellow," Frigga argued.

"Yes, because going insane and attempting to take over the world is _so_ mellow."

"It was just a phase."

"Wow. Who knew alien moms were just like Earth moms?" Tony commented. Frigga simply frowned.

"Say goodbye to your friends, Loki," Odin said impatiently. "We really must be going."

"Hm, yes, goodbye everyone. Won't be missing you too soon," Loki sighed with an air of disinterest. Frigga frowned with disapproval.

"Not that you'd care, but I'll actually kinda miss you," Clint commented.

"Me too," Natasha added.

"You actually weren't that bad, except for the part where you smashed, like, seven beer bottles on my head," Clint said jokingly. Frigga raised a slightly concerned eyebrow at the archer's comment, which Loki skillfully ignored.

"I have an idea," Frigga said after a moment. She then proceeded to whisper said idea in Odin's ear. He frowned. More whispering. Loki became fidgety with longing to hear what they were saying.

"Loki," Frigga began, "why don't you invite your lovely friends to spend one last day with you on Asgard?"

Loki stared. Jane and Darcy grinned with excitement and anticipation.

"You cannot be serious," Loki said at last. "Do you have any idea of the havoc that would ensue at the hands of those like Stark?"

"_Hey_." Tony pointed an accusing finger at Loki.

"Oh, come on, Loki! It'll be fun!" Darcy persuaded.

"There is no convincing you otherwise, Mother, so I shall find a way to survive," Loki agreed reluctantly.

"Wonderful!" Frigga beamed.

"They will need the proper garments," Odin said. Tony gave a look like someone had just told him he had to give a speech for the president while dressed in a banana suit.

"We shall return shortly with acceptable clothing, then wait for you in Asgard. Thor, Loki, you know how to get there," Odin continued before he and Frigga vanished.

"No way am I wearing that ridiculous stuff you call clothes," Tony stated defiantly.

"You could just stay here and not ruin everyone's lives by going," Loki suggested.

"Now I'm definitely going."

"I hate you."

Unfortunately, Frigga and Odin chose that moment to show up with armfuls of cloth and leather.

"Loki! Be nice. We don't hate people," Frigga chided. Loki rolled his eyes. The clothes were deposited on the kitchen counter and in a second, the pair of Asgardians were gone. Darcy held up a beautiful midnight blue gown and visibly fell in love with it.

"I have no idea how to put this on," she admitted, gazing intently at the laced bodice.

"I can help, if you would like," Loki offered, instantly realizing how awkward his sentence sounded. To avoid further embarrassment, Loki took Darcy's hand and led her into a bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"So how does this work? It looks like a corset," Darcy remarked, examining the gown closely.

"You may need to rid yourself of your outerwear before attempting to put it on," Loki advised. Hesitantly, Darcy slipped out of her jeans and a rather favored purple sweater. She stood self-consciously in her bra and underwear, arms crossed and gazing at the floor.

"No need to be embarrassed," Loki said teasingly, using an index finger to tip Darcy's chin up so that she was looking at him. Darcy wasn't amused.

"Just help me with the dress and quit staring," she snapped, firm but teasing. Loki blinked and felt his cheeks flush a bit. He instructed Darcy to step into the dress and helped her get it on straight. Then he tightly laced up the back and stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"How do I look?" Darcy asked despite the large mirror on the wall.

"Mesmerizing," Loki answered sincerely. Darcy smiled and performed a little curtsy before leaving Loki alone in the bathroom. A quick bit of magic and Loki wore his trademark Asgardian attire, complete with the helmet. He exited the bathroom only to nearly die of laughter. To say the least, no one save for the females looked overly pleased with their clothing arrangements.

"Kill me now," Tony complained, staring down at the over abundance of leather and metal. The light from his arc reactor was completely obscured behind the heavy materials. Strangely enough, Loki found that he missed being able to see the familiar blue glow. Steve and Bruce, who had apparently arrived in the room while Loki had been assisting Darcy, were discussing whether or not Steve had put on his silver arm guards correctly. A verdict was eventually reached, and it was decided that they would leave it be before they broke something.

"You will get used to it," Thor encouraged.

"Are the capes really necessary?" Clint inquired. He felt oddly out of place in his outfit of black leather and thick, plumb-colored cloth. The metal accessories really weighted him down and he wanted nothing more than to rid of the foreign attire. At least the boots were cool.

"Yes," Loki assured adamantly. Clint frowned like he didn't really believe him, but accepted the answer nonetheless. Bruce was becoming irked with a particularly troublesome piece of clothing, and eventually had to accept assistance from Thor before something or someone was damaged. After a few long minutes of cursing and wardrobe malfunctions, everyone was ready to go. Loki linked arms with Thor and hugged Darcy close.

Natasha gripped Darcy's hand and Clint held onto Natasha like his life depended on it, which it probably did. Tony held onto Jane who held onto Thor, and Steve and Bruce found somewhere to squeeze in. Someone was stepping on Loki's foot, and he could strongly smell someone's cologne. At last, they dissolved into light and found themselves a second later in the large domed room at the end of the Bifrost.

"This is amazing," Jane gasped.

"You have seen nothing yet," Thor assured, taking her hand and leading her out onto the Bifrost. They were closely followed by everyone else, most of whom had gotten over the initial shock. Steve, though, still seemed rather shaky. They were met on the other end of the Bifrost by Odin and Frigga.

"You all look lovely," Frigga complimented.

"I don't feel very lovely," Tony complained, lifting an arm to examine the metal pieces extending from his wrist almost to his elbow. "Why is all this stuff so heavy?"

"Says the man who spends his days in an iron suit," Bruce pointed out.

"At least I expect that to be heavy. This stuff weighs about four times more than it looks like it does."

"Unfortunately, you'll live," Loki sneered. Odin glared before leading the group into the most magnificent castle the more mortal individuals had ever seen.

"It's beautiful," Natasha remarked. They followed the Asgardian king and queen into a remarkable dining hall filled with bustling people.

"Holy crap. That's a lot of food," Clint gaped, pointing to the long wooden tables laden with almost every food imaginable.

"Yes, yes it is," Steve agreed. Most of the people in the dining hall seemed rather leery of Loki. Some merely avoided eye contact, while others pointed and whispered or just looked scared. Loki didn't seem to pay them any mind. Tony suspected Loki was used to the negative attention. Odin cleared his throat and firmly clapped his hands. All talking ceased in a heartbeat and everyone sat down, waiting for their king to speak.

"Thank you. Please welcome home my youngest son, Loki Odinson, who you know has been in exile on Midgard for some time now," Odin announced regally. A smattering of applause was his only response besides Thor's loud cheering in an attempt to invigorate the crowd. It wasn't very effective. Loki just clasped his hands and stared. His icy gaze seemed to have everyone a bit on edge. People shifted in their seats under the trickster's perusal as an awkward silence settled.

"Ahem. Carry on," Odin finished. Conversation immediately erupted, and the remaining individuals found a seat.

"I wish Pepper was here," Tony lamented as he took a seat between Loki and Steve.

"You'll see her soon," Steve assured.

"So, Reindeer Games. Anything I should know before putting any of this in my mouth? I don't want to die," Tony said to Loki.

"It is perfectly safe, _Stark_," Loki sighed, taking a small sip from a fancy goblet full of wine.

"You know, I just realized something," Tony speculated. "That big metal helmet is a really stupid idea considering your brother causes lightning. The chances of you getting struck with that thing on are, like, inevitable."

"True, he has been struck once or twice," Frigga informed from her seat diagonal from Loki. Loki glared over the rim of his glass while Thor laughed at the evidently humorous memories.

"I mean seriously, what were you _thinking_? You're practically a walking lightning rod," Tony continued, not willing to bury the joke just yet.

"Lightning does not harm me as it may harm the weaker forms of humans," Loki said, beginning to get annoyed.

"I hate it when you get all condescending like that," Natasha said, wrinkling her nose.

"Holy crap," Clint interjected.

"What?" Natasha asked, confused.

"They have really good food here. It makes Earth food taste like dirt in comparison," he responded. "Can I live here? Like, permanently?"

"Valhalla, no," Loki spat. Clint stuck his tongue out at Loki and threw a bread roll at him. It bounced off Loki's nose and landed on the table. Loki picked it up and sent it flying impossibly fast at the archer. It made an incredible smack on impact.

"Enough," Odin barked. The next hour or so consisted of much merriment, a volley of various items thrown at Loki (from guess who), and Thor accidentally tipping his chair over backwards after a bit too much ale. Loki mostly sat calmly through it all, throwing out the occasional snide remark to those who deserved it. Most people save for those he had arrived with ignored him anyway. Loki overheard part of a story Tony was loudly relaying to Jane. From what he could gather, it had something to do with Nick Fury and doughnuts.

Loki decided he didn't want to know. He leaned back in his chair and listened to the jumble of words flying around, not really comprehending any of them. Sometimes, though, he'd hear something so obviously about him that it made him want to scream. Loki knew he had been wrong. But constantly being reminded of his failure was crushing.

Feeling the sting of tears behind his eyes, Loki rubbed his hands down his face and let out a sigh. He wasn't about to cry in front of everyone. Loki closed his eyes and tuned out all the chaos around him. A few minutes passed and he could feel himself falling asleep. He was almost out when he felt someone shaking his shoulder.

"What?" he snapped, quickly opening his eyes.

"You almost fell asleep," Tony said needlessly.

"I think I'm aware of that," Loki responded. Tony looked a bit awkward for a second, then went back to eating something that he wasn't sure what it was, but it tasted good.

"Oh, Loki!" Frigga began. "Before I forget, don't you have someone you'd like your friends to meet?"

Loki's eyes widened a bit and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before he could force himself to speak.

"You can't possibly mean-"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Yes! Do we finally get to see this famous eight-legged horse thingy?" Tony asked. Loki slapped him. _Hard_.

"Go get him," Frigga urged kindly. Loki looked perpetually embarrassed as he scooted his chair back and left the dining hall. He returned a few moments later, accompanied by a large grey horse. Loki stood with his face buried in his hands, not saying a word.

"My mind, it's blown," Tony gaped. Sleipnir snorted and stamped one of his eight feet.

"How did that…how do I put this?" Clint said, frowning. "How did that come out of you? Ew, that sounded weird."

Loki made a noise halfway between a squeak and a sob. Sleipnir nudged Loki in the back with his nose, causing the deity to almost fall over. Darcy giggled.

"He's cute," she commented, standing and gently patting Sleipnir's nose. "What's his name again?"

"Sleipnir," Loki muttered behind his hands.

"Interesting," Darcy remarked. Sleipnir nuzzled Darcy's hand. "Aw, I think he likes me!" Darcy smiled. Loki attempted a weak grin, but his expression looked more like he had just swallowed some nasty medicine.

"Cheer up," Darcy urged, lightly kissing Loki on the mouth.

"Ohh, not in front of Mother," Loki complained. But Frigga only smiled. Loki then sent Sleipnir away and sat back down in his seat. He busied himself with eating, just so he would have an excuse not to respond if people talked to him. Another hour and many of the more sober guests began to depart. They were soon followed by most others. Loki sat with his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand, swirling a bit of wine around in his goblet.

Although he really didn't enjoy the mortals' company, he was almost glad they had come. It was a nice diversion from the typical onslaught of ignorance and negative attention.

"I am getting rather tired," Frigga commented. "I think I will be going to bed soon. The rest of you, Thor and Loki will show you to the spare rooms. You may leave in the morning." She left, taking Odin with her, but not before giving everyone a small glare to let them know that no mischief would go unnoticed. Loki sat in silence, wishing for the night to end. By the time Thor had shown the guests to their rooms, Loki was near collapsing from exhaustion.

He curled up in his bed, the same bed he had slept in throughout his childhood. It smelled good, like pleasant memories. Starlight drifted in through the window, painting the walls silver. Pressing his cheek against the downy pillow, Loki closed his eyes and realized just how lucky he was.

**A\N: Hooray for sucky endings! And thanks again to everyone. Until next time. **

**~Fairykind **


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